My cousin is in a bad relationship and she wants to have an abortion. Does she have to have her husband's consent. I want to adopt the baby, but her husband is already saying he will win custoday when they split. I don't want her to have an abortion, so I am trying to find reason's to convince her she can't.
2007-03-15 05:38:17 · 18 answers · asked by persethany 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Yes, Tell her she'll regret it later. Mothers seem to get custody over kids more then dads anyway. fight the hardest court battle you can.( she can get one with out his consent cause it's her body)
2007-03-15 05:43:51 · answer #1 · answered by Tara Elaine 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
she can do what she wants, you are being selfish to force her to have a baby with a man that she fears, you cannot adopt the baby without the husband signing away his rights, he will get the baby and that is her fears, I am not for abortion but maybe you cousin should have some counseling to help her through this, she must really be in a bad relationship if this is what she is considering, be supportive to her and leave it as an option that you are willing to adopt, but like I said unless you have real facts that you can prove that the father is unfit he will get custody if she signs her right away. She may feel different when she has the baby, she may actually want to keep the baby.
2007-03-15 06:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by kissybertha 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, she does not need her husband's consent to obtain an abortion.
I know you think you are helping her but as a woman who works with battered women, let me just say that trying to convince her to keep the pregnancy is not helping her or endearing you to her. It's painful enough to come to that decision without everyone trying to get you to change your mind. What she really needs from you right now is a strong shoulder to cry on about her horrible relationship, not emotional manipulation to keep something she doesn't want.
I have seen many women go through this process and for most of them, the abortion was the right decision. Whether you would take over the care of the child or not, she would be forever tied to this man and this horrible relationship. If she's trying to leave, you should support her in that because no one should want her to be tied to an abusive or horrible man. Do you want that for your cousin?
She needs you to support her and you aren't doing that right now, not in the way that would help the most. Just listen to her, be there for her. Don't try to "convince" her of anything. Women in abusive or bad relationships need to discover their own path out of them. The abortion, unfortunately, may be that first step on that path.
I know people will rate this negatively and you may disregard it but the most helpful thing you can do for your cousin is to shut up and support her.
Best of luck to your cousin!
2007-03-15 06:10:07 · answer #3 · answered by jenn_smithson 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes anyone that's over 18 needs no one there to have an abortion, it's her body and her descision, he doesnt even need to know if he is that bad of a guy. You can't really convince her that she "cant", I know that no one wants anyone to have an abortion but maybe she would b e a little weirded out when after years and her baby is calling you mommy. Does that make sense? Besides if she keeps the baby then that makes it easier for him to get coustody and if you have the money for a good lawyer then I say take his *** to court! If not...I hope you're in a state where they are more for the mom's winning custody battles! Good Luck sweetie just make sure she knows that you're there for her no matter what choice she makes! She will need you now more than ever!!
2007-03-15 05:47:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
In most states a woman does not have to have her husband's consent. Why do women ALWAYS believe men when they say that they will get the children in a court battle? Start documenting the abuse (if there is any, even mental). MOST judges prefer not to separate mother and child (especially if they are breastfeeding). Unless he can prove her mentally unstable, or unable to care for the child the best he can generally hope for is joint (which most judges will not do with an infant), he would more than likely get visitation AND have to pay her child support (any allamony if he makes more than her)
2007-03-15 05:58:31 · answer #5 · answered by autumnofserenity@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend that was pregnant by her husband & she didn't want the baby but he did (only to try & keep her around). She got an abortion without him knowing about it (it's was all private). She told him she miscarried while he was @ work. If she is in a BAD relationship, a baby isn't going to HELP! Let her decide what she wants to do & I hope you will support her wishes.
2007-03-15 05:54:12 · answer #6 · answered by Krissy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you told her that you want to adopt her baby? I dont think she has to have his consent to have an abortion. I think she should defently not get an abortion and let you adopt the baby. I dont think a baby should be aborted just because she's in a bad relationship, its not the babys fault. I hope she makes the right choice.
2007-03-15 05:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by ButterFlyAngel 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, and unfortunately I don't think the father has the right to stop an abortion (meaning they don't even require his signature for the procedure). If you want to stop her from doing this, you will have to help her understand that what she is doing is killing her baby. She is in a bad situation but she got herself there, I mean she must have known before she had unprotected sex? You need to tell her that her responsibility is to this baby now, not to her own selfish wants and needs...and she needs to do everything she can to keep and raise this baby (or give it up for adoption) it may be too difficult for her to have a close friend raise it but the best thing for it may be a loving home. Maybe if the husband agrees to sign adoption papers she will go for that? good luck
2007-03-15 05:48:06 · answer #8 · answered by katiebug 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She can have an abortion if she says the father is unknown. And if she has it, at least it will always have you and the father to take care of it. On the other hand its her body, so let her do what she thinks is best. There has to be some other reason why she wants an abortion and doesn't want you or him to have it. Maybe she doesn't want to go through the 9 month term and then live with having to give it up etc.
2007-03-15 05:44:37 · answer #9 · answered by My two cents 4 · 2⤊ 3⤋
tell her to look at the bad things that the father could have used against him in court. and also have her ask a lawyer because a abortion is not a pretty thing and if the father will loose then she should feel better and who knows in the end with support she may choose to keep the child.
2007-03-15 05:43:31 · answer #10 · answered by d h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not in the USA. In other countries she has to have the husband's consent but in the USA no she can go get one without telling her husband. You need to tell her to get out of that relationship for her safety and the baby's. If he abuses her he is not going to get custody of the child. No judge is going to turn a child over to an abusive parent.
2007-03-15 05:43:36 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋