How do you manage. My husband has never said much. In fact I don't know what really attracted me to him. The thing is I can't talk to him comfortably about most things in a marriage eg sex (when I don't feel like it) money (when I'm in, or have had debts) how lonely I feel most of the time as I have no friends. I'm not saying he should be boisterous or loud but I've come across so men mostly working with, who I wish he were more like as far as communication goes. He has always been like this and says he doesn't feel the need to talk unless he has something worthwhile to say. I do try to make conversation but it ends quickly. Sometimes when we've been out for a meal and we'd sit there and say nothing for a long period!!!
2007-03-15 05:25:58 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thanks for all you supportive answers. It makes a nice change.
2007-03-15 05:46:36 · update #1
Doesn't everyone wife have that problem? You are not unique in this regard.
The reason the men at work can talk to you is they don't need to worry about saying anything that will make you mad. Fact is men and women are wired differently and it's not unusual for them to have problems communicating. If you want it to be better, you need to fix yourself. You have to high of expectations in this regard and need to lower them. Start by just talking about things he likes and work from there.
You need to understand that men don't talk about what you want with themselves. This isn't something they like or want to do. Stop trying to change nature.
2007-03-15 05:33:24 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husband is also very very quiet. BUT, I wouldnt have it any other way. He is caring and a good dad and provider. You must have been attracted to that at some point. Whats changed?
I would rather have a quiet man than a loud mouth. As long as you know that you are never ever going to change him, thats his personality. Love him for who he is, not what you want him to be. I am sure he has many fine points. Look for those instead of trying to make him something he is not.I am sure the men you know that you wish your husband was like, have points that make their wifes crazy. remember the grass is always greener on the other side(so we think). If he is good to you and faithful, thats all that matters. Good Luck
2007-03-15 12:35:23 · answer #2 · answered by 3boys 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, look how long it took you to ask a question, for crying out loud. Most men like to get right ot the point - he may be just tuning you out. Also, there's nothing wrong with quietly enjoying each other's company at a meal. Leave him be, or try to communicate more succinctly.
2007-03-15 12:36:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi Sue,
Firstly thanks for answering my quesiton before, I feel for your situation too x
A lot of people have trouble talking about these things, which I guess you just have to be paitent and understanding. I know its hard for your husband to hear about how lonely you are, i guess it makes him feel like failure ... but feel free to email me when you need to vent!
In terms of the conversation running out perhaps the two of you could try to get involved in something together which you can share. It's hard I know, and I'm sorry I can't be more help!
Best of luck x
2007-03-15 12:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
even ma friend had that problem!
i think the at first you should try to talk on topics in which he is very much interested
eg : if he loves vehicles just make a point to talk about it
so he mite find talking to you or atleast listening to you intersting
hope this would help you
good luck
wish u happiness in your wedded life
2007-03-15 12:39:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mine is the same way, he told me he does not like to talk unless he has something to say. I found that he will talk to me about positive things or things that he is interested in. Lately I have been asking him about his job, and he has been talking pretty much everyday. Just try to ask questions about his life and thoughts about things and see if it helps.
2007-03-15 12:57:59 · answer #6 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore him. Like start doing something else when he expects you to sit by his side. You do this a few times and he is certain to ask whats the matter then you may put your point.
Just kidding.
2007-03-16 05:40:01 · answer #7 · answered by STRANGER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you feel...i am a bit like your husband because i feel uncomfortable talking about things like that but he is just really shy...i had the same problem but what u need to do is not rush into your talk but get a little bit higher each day...it really works and now i can talk to my husband about anything !! try it !!
2007-03-15 12:37:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
look he is obviously a bore get out of there get some friends and a man who has enough respect for you that he will make conversation with you and if you feel uncomfortable talking about sex you not getting enough like i said get out get out get out and save your sanity
2007-03-18 08:34:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like my ex husband, it did my head in! im now married to a very communicative man, what a lovely change!
2007-03-16 07:18:17 · answer #10 · answered by chakra girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋