Hia im 16 years old in a long term relationship and found out im 7 weeks pregnant. My mum says she'll support me through it, and i am booked in for an abortion next friday. I dont know what to do, i want an abortion as i have a life to live and can have children when i am ready, but i am also upset about killing my baby, i need help? plz
2007-03-15 05:20:17 · 36 answers · asked by strawberry 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Abortion is not your only option. You can carry the baby to full term and put it up for an adoption. There are all different types of adoptions, one being an "open adoption" where some onew else is the case giver for the baby but you still get to keep in contact with them. Its going to hard for you no matter what you choose and at least with this, there are less regrets and you are giving the gift of a child to another family- a family that will give it a loving home. You have the option of interviewing a couple different families and YOU making the choice of who would make the best parents to raise your child. Its also important that you talk this over with your boyfriend and your boyfriend's family- maybe one of them will like to take care of your child until you guys are financially and emotionally ready to raise your child by yourselves. The options are endless and you dont have to go through this alone.
Good luck
2007-03-15 05:33:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Hi,
You are very lucky to have a mother who will support you. It is totally normal to be upset, if you weren't then you wouldn't be human. I was faced with a similar dilemma 5 years ago; though I am a lot older than you. In my case I looked deep within myself and asked if I could live with myself if I aborted my baby, when I decided on my answer I then asked myself what effect would my decision have on others around me. In my case it was 4 other children, a husband and my immediate family.
If I may say about your situation; you are 16 which is very young to be a mother as you have stated you have your life to live. If you keep your child how resentful would you become towards it because of your lost youth. You also say you are in a long term relationship, at 16 there is no such thing as a long term relationship. Neither one of you has lived your own lives yet. I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant with my first son. Although I would not wish my son away, I now realise with a lot more maturity and hindsight that I was too young.
Even as we speak I am facing my eldest daughter at 18 being pregnant and being not yet 40 looking to welcome my first grandchild into the world in a few months time.
My main advice is to think long and hard about both sides of what is an extremely hard decision. Please make sure that the decision is yours and you do not do what you think others want you to do. That goes either way, keeping the baby or not. You and your partner are the ones who count in the decision making process, as this is your child.
By the way I now have 5 children, so you can guess what my decision was. Believe me it was just as difficult a decision.
Lastly whatever your decision is; I wish you well for the future and could I suggest you try contraception in future? (Sorry that's the mother in me :) ) Take care.
2007-03-15 07:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by geordie_babe2006 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are lucky to have a supportive mum, I was 17 when I had my daughter who's now 12, and my family were there for me when I split up with her dad. Abortion never crossed my mind, as from a young age I knew I always wanted to be a mum more than having pots of money and a fantastic career, but everyone has different ambitions in life. You're bound to be upset at the prospect of aborting your baby, but before you go through with your appointment make sure that you are 100% sure that the decision you're making is the right one. I'm personally not against abortion, I believe it is the right of the individual, although I dont believe in aborting perfectly healthy babies for selfish reasons such as yours, ie: not being ready to have children and having a life to lead...if you are mature enough to be having sex, then you should be adult enough to deal with the consequences of unplanned pregnancy just as others do. But in response to your question, if you go through with the abortion then you must be sure you're doing the right thing, because if you have the slightest doubt about aborting your baby, and go through with an abortion, then you may live to regret it later in life, in otherwords, if you start wishing you hadnt aborted your baby it could cause you all kinds of emotional problems, also, in some cases, women who have had abortions because the time isnt right have found that an infection they have got, after an abortion has left them infertile when the time is right for them and they start trying for a baby.....so bear this in mind.
If you are definately sure that an abortion is what you want, then you will find a way to deal with it when you have had an abortion. There is only you that can make these life changing decisions, no one else can make them for you, but whatever you decide to do, you'll find a way to cope.
Sorry to sound harsh, dont take it personally, but hope this helps x
2007-03-15 05:55:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
16 is very younbg to have a baby but i know plenty of people that have done it and still got a career and a life, i had an abortion at 21 and not a day goes by that i dont think of my baby but i know that i wouldnt be where i am know if i had gone ahead. your mum has said that she will be there for you if the dad is staying or even if he isnt there are so many options and help available,lots of people cope , the fact that you say you are upset about killing your baby will this feeling go away once you have it done, talk to your family more and your partnerget conselling,i hope you can be happy in your decision and have a happy life, but remember what is right for one person may not be right for another we each make of life what we will
2007-03-19 04:43:02 · answer #4 · answered by kaye j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one to be able to make this choice! I hope you make the right one, which you can live with for the rest of your life. You are luck to have your mother supporting you. You will have a lot of negative feedback and you have to be strong to get through this,which ever way you go. Either choice has a down side. If you do terminate, you will always think about the what if's..and if you had your baby you may think about life without him/her? Are you a mature enough 16 year old, strong enough to bring a child into the world, you will have to provide for him/her and you will have to remember that a baby doesn't stay a baby for long. I hope you find the right path to take, and that what ever one you choose to do, you can face up to it and learn from it,for the rest of your life. . just remember you wont be the first and you surely aren't the last to go through this. Don't make a choice based on what other people may think! its your body, your life your choice! Good luck
2007-03-15 05:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in exactly the same position as you im 17 , me an my partner have been together for over a year and 9 months and i am 6 and a half weeks pregant my mom knows and says that shell always be here for me. I have booked the abortion i feel so upset that im aborting my child but im doing for my boyfriend and his life hes got a life to lead to and we can children later although ill never forget my 1st pregnancy ill always know it was the right decision dont worry about it, youll have a really speacial family later on and will know it was the right decision for you and your partner. Good luck and my heart goes out to you but it is the right decision as im only 17 and want a life and a house and money before having children to give them the best chances in lfe :0) gd luk 4 friday xxxxx
2007-03-16 00:19:54 · answer #6 · answered by harriboprincessx 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well there's nothing more I can say that someone else hasn't already said. I scanned through a lot of the answers and I think nearly all the girls who have been in your situation said you shouldn't do it. This is my opinion too.
That is a HUMAN LIFE you have in there. I've never been able to understand why the baby inside the womb is considered to be somehow less human than it is outside the womb. And thus it's not considered murder when the baby is killed inside. Apparently up to 3 months pregnant is legal murder. It is completely illogical.
Like many folk have suggested, there are many options of which adoption is the best suggestion I've seen. Many people out there can't have kids.
I undestand your desire to have a life and have kids when you are ready .... but if you kill your baby you will never forgive yourself and it will take your future happiness away. You will in reality be killing a very part of yourself. That little bundle of life in there is relying on you to make the right decision, don't let him or her down.
2007-03-15 11:21:16 · answer #7 · answered by Beej 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok sweetheart there is no easy way out of this one and I am not going to promise you that there will not be future problems with this which ever option you choose. What I can tell you is that only you can decide. You have already said that you do not want to have a baby yet and I can understand and respect that. This is a hard lesson in life and which ever decision you make will be the right one at the time. However, the facts are that in order to have your life now you wont be able to have this baby and you have already said that you dont want to terminate this baby. So, if you decide to go ahead with this abortion be prepared to feel bad about this at some point. You may feel relieved at first and it may take years before you grieve for this baby. But, you will be stronger and will forgive yourself because you are a lovely person its just life has presented you with a difficult decision, and as you go through life there will be many of these to make. Good luck sweetheart. If you decide to keep your baby then remember life will be very different you will have to be an adult very quickly. Either way you will cope because you have a lovely supportive Mum. When you have made you decision think carefully for the future about taking very careful precautions, I know Mum will help with this. Sending you kind thoughts and love x Candy
P.s Marks wifee has her opinion, but its only hers she obviously has very strong religious views - you go with your heart and do not be made to feel guilty by anyone.
2007-03-15 05:39:38 · answer #8 · answered by candy 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
you cannot expect other people to make this decision for u. u need 2 sit down and have a long think about what reali matters 2 u. if u feel u can cope wif a baby den keep him if not and you agree wif abortion go ahead. im 16yrs old myself and woz absolutely crapping it wen i found out i woz pregnant.now im 18 weeks and ov corse im scared but at the end of it i fink 2 myself what i will be gaining.jus because u r pregnant doesnt mean u cant live ur life.
2007-03-15 05:26:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, i was faced with the same dilema when I was 16. My mum and dad said they would support my decision what ever, I chose to have my baby and now have a beautiful 20yr daughter but it was hard and I had to grow up incredibly fast. While all my mates were out having fun,I was at home feeding the baby, my choice and I don't regret it. Do what feels right for you, only you know how that is. Good luck with what you decide. x
2007-03-15 05:51:54 · answer #10 · answered by sarah p 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋