Should your sexuality be known in the workplace?

Question

I work at a bank in Alabama. Now I'm comfortable with my sexuality, and I'm proud of who I am. But being gay does this hurt my chances of a promotion, and as a manager would you promote someone if they were gay?

Answer 1

There's a difference between a sexuality issue and a relationship issue. If you happen to have a significant other of the same gender you might bring it up somewhere along the line for the same reason a person with a girlfriend might but as strange as it may seem you don't have to beat people over the head to make them aware that you are gay. Most will figure it out even if you say nothing and just mention that you live with your significant other named John or whatever. Leave it at that. Most people see this all the time on television and are sick of the non stop arguments and hype. Most people are only concerned with how well someone does their job and Alabama is no different. Sexuality if something else. If you go around sleeping with different men all the time that's no more of an issue then if you sleep around with different women and has no place in professional conversation.

I cannot tell by your comments but if you're not Southern then many will regard you as different anyway. I'm not sure what the commenter from Canada would know about Alabama but the South has a stronger culture than some places in the modern world so it's more traditional where being a part of the group is more important than some places that are completely individualistic. You get this with many others: Indians, Arabs, Africans, and even many Asians and some types of Europeans. Like us though they are mostly concerned with their own groups and not everybody everywhere. If you are polite and respectful without being too preachy than most won't care one way or the other regardless of where you are from.

Answer 2

Who you have sex with is NOBODY elses business but you and that persons (unless you are committed to another person).
That being said, being gay is, or at least should be more than about that.
If you have a partner, or someone you love, that may be worth sharing with others, if you choose to do so. It all depends on the environement in which you work.
Someday, perhaps, we will reach a point, where people in general will be happy to see others be happy, and not somehow threatened by who others choose to love.
Until that time, be wise about who you choose to come out to. I'm not saying to lie, or live in the closet. Just be wise about your words, and not flaunt your "sexuality". It's one thing to be sexually attracted to someone of the same gender, or even the opposite, It's totally inappropriate to make sure everyone in the workplace knows about it no matter what. Unless you have a relationship outside of work with someone, I don't see why it matters that you tell them. Same as if you are heterosexual. Let people assume what they will. You are not lying simply because you don't put up a sign saying you are gay. Coming out of the closet doesn't have to invlove making sure everyone that you meet or that knows you realizes you are gay. It's simply about being who you are without being afraid.

Answer 3

To answer your last question first, yes, I would. I do not care about my employees sexuality as long as they perform their jobs.

Would being gay hurt your chances of promotion? I would love to say no, if you deserve promotion you should get it. But you are talking about banking, a very conservative field and Alabama. Before anyone jumps on me, I live in Alabama and love it, I am English and choose to live here but I am not blind to the way things are. I have to tend towards it would hurt your chances, given the location and the field.

Answer 4

people's sexuality is their own business and should not be known at work. I understand that you are proud of your sexuality, but if it's known at work, you may not get promoted only because of your sexuality. It is wrong, however, there are still people in this world that think being gay is wrong. I am straight and have bi and gay friends. I think people should be promoted based on their merit, however, it does not always work like that because of those narrow -minded people, so it's up to you.

Answer 5

First of all.....well put JD.
It's sad that we live in a world that yes, in a professional field like banking, if you are open about your sexual orientation, it could harm your chances of advancement. I am a manager and personally would have no problem promoting someone who is gay. Of course, I'M gay, so maybe it's not fair for me to answer. But, it should be based on job perormance, not on who they're sleeping with.

Answer 6

Should your sexuality be known in the workplace?

The problem I have with this question is the implication inherent in it. The word 'should' seems oddly used.

'Should' people know your sexuality? no

'Should' you lie about your sexuality if asked? no

'Should' you deny yourself the dignity of talking harmlessly about your boyfriend if others are talking about their wives and husbands? no

'Should' you be denied promotion or being hired because this knowledge is common? no

'Should' management be honest and respectful of your abilities and merit and thus judge you only on those counts? yes

Will this make a difference in the bigots and homophobes? sadly.....no.

Reality is harsh so even though there are a lot of 'should's', the only 'should' need to worry about is this one: Should I decide to be out knowing what my manager and co-workers attitudes are? answer this and you will know what you need to.

Answer 7

First of all, I think a lot of these answers are missing the point. It is NOT about talking about your sexuality. When someone asks, "you gotta girlfriend?", we should feel comfortable and dignified enough to say, no I have a boyfriend. I felt like a giant wait was lifted off me when I became open at work. I didn't have to play "straight" anymore, and pretend I had a girlfriend.

Answer 8

Your sexuality is your own business, it has nothing to do with how well you do your job. When is was a manager I promoted solely on merit, my subordinates private lives were of no interest to me unless it effected job performance. As I once told a lady just before I made her my assistant supervisor, "I'm not your father, your priest, or your judge, I'm just your boss, be here on time, do your job, and do it well, what you do the rest of the time is your business not mine."

Answer 9

Well I don't think you have to advertise. You ever hear someone come into work and say, "Hey everyone come over here. I just wanted to let you know. I'm a heterosexual."

But if someone finds out about it don't feel ashamed. Be proud of who you are. Gay people can be very successful businessmen along with straight people.

Answer 10

i've always valued professionalism in the business environment. people who openly talk about their sexuality, their sexual orientation, or their sex life, are being inconsiderate. unless you sex life has something to do with your job, then i don't see any reason to talk sex at work.

from what i know about Alabama in general, they would probably look down on your for being gay, as Alamabans aren't very open and accepting. so don't talk about sex and work and focus on getting promoted based on merit and your performance and competence on the job. good luck!