What to do when your husband doesn't want to spend time with you?

Question

My husband is not the romantic type. At all. For the last couple of months we have been fighting. I'm Five months P.G. and right before I found out I was with child. He said he didn't want to have children at this time. But we were planning on starting. I found out 3 days after he told he was not ready. Things have been down hill since then. But he says he is happy about the baby. I don't know what to do. I don't feel close to him.

Answer 1

It sounds like you all need to seek counseling as soon as possible, before the baby is here because it will be very difficult once you have the baby because everything will be so fast paced and centered around the newborn. And look within yourself and find things that you could change about you that would make you a better person and also help your marriage, because we all can stand a little self improvement. I am working on that myself, and it is very gratifying to work on things about yourself that will make you a better you! :)

Answer 2

This is a terrrible situation you are in. How dare he fight with you, like he had nothing to do with you getting prego. He got you pregnant didn't he? If he says he's happy about the baby then what are you guys fighting about? You need to sit him down and try to talk to him about what is bothering him. You both are probably going through something. I take it this is your first baby, you both are probably scared.
That's normal but you need to talk about it. A baby changes your whole life, and the thought of that can be extremely frightening especially if your struggling in other aspects of your relationship. I hope everything turns out o.k. for you. This is a time you should be happy and relaxed and preparing for your child, not fighting, it's not good for the baby, they can hear and sense things from inside you, so calm down and talk to your husband. good luck

Answer 3

I suggest marriage counseling ASAP. There is something going on and you need to fix it before you have this new baby. You don't want to welcome your baby into the world surrounded by the chaos of marital problems. It will be hard enough to adjust and find time together after the baby is born so you want to make sure you start working on fixing the problem right away so that you both are on the same page.

Answer 4

Wow, if he didn't want to have any kids, maybe he should've taken precautions! I think it's crappy that he isn't happy about the baby, even if he says he is. I'm not sure of what you can do, I would try and include him in your appointments, maybe he'll feel different when he sees the baby, they bring so much joy! Hopefully he has a change of heart. Good luck with that!

Answer 5

Tell him your concern. Let him know that you love him and that you want to spend time together. Ask him if there is any activity you two could do that he would enjoy.

If he is not cooperative, start building up female friends to spend time with and draw support from, and wait till he comes around.

If that doesn't work, get marraige counseling.

Answer 6

* Focus on correcting yourself. “If you are concentrating on your partner’s problems, you are unavailable to concentrate on your own. We tend to focus on what we see, and when we highlight the shortcomings in a relationship we become demeaning and judgmental and we miss the beauty and value that attracted us to our partner in the first place."

* Realize that any relationship at best is difficult and takes constant work, effort, enthusiasm and if meant to last, patience and love.

Answer 7

Take your husband to a marriage counselor.

Answer 8

Communicate with him. It's worked for me. Tell him your hurt and you need his company.

Answer 9

Tell him how you feel (meaning)..........tell him that you need to feel secured about everything.........tell him that you do not feel close to him and that you need more!!