I am living in the UK, and I'm from Australia. I am living with my husband's parents, I have very few friends still here and they live very far away as his parent's live way outside the city. I am in a job I hate, as i have been temping as we were planning on moving to Australia shorlty. However now we're not going to be able to move yet, and I'll be here till the end of the year!
This is fine, I'm going to make the most of it. However I am really down because a) I've not got many friends and those that I have I'm so far away, b) I hate my job and the company sucks however I am looking for a good job now, c) his parents are nice but they are mothering us and at 24 I can't handle this, d) my commute is about 3-4 hours daily.
So, on the bright side we are looking to move into the city, I am trying for a new job and will hopefully meet people there. However my husband isn't handling the fact that I am miserable and depressed and making me feel worse! Advice please x
2007-03-15 04:51:55 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is miserable because he thinks he isnt enough.
He's getting paranoid that i'm going to leave.
He is pushing me away when he acts like this, so it makes him feel even worse!
2007-03-15 04:52:48 · update #1
Whilst my husband always say I can stay in the city whenever I want, I actually belive the opposite. He always seems to pick an arguement with me when I mention it or do it!!! Guess thats another issue! lol
2007-03-15 05:25:32 · update #2
i can well see thru ur situation and understand how u must b feeling . well the best thing for u to do at this point is to work up on ur self esteem and get urself a better and more respectable job . the moment u begin to respect urself ..others will follow automatically . take up a new course if need be . stand for urself ..even if that means staying away from family for a short while . sumtimes distance does ..what closeness doesnt . maybe ur husband will want u even more when ur away and would then make efforts to work it out ur way . i do understand that u need to interact more with other people around u and need a bit of space from the family ..so well ..go n get it . It wud look selfish initially ..but im sure it'll pay in the long run ..n keep u sane too . when u find a gud job n move to city ..im sure ur husband will follow suit ..and then u both can start a new life all over again ! good luck ..and get into action ..rather than getting miserable .
2007-03-15 05:08:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds pretty rough. We recently moved 2 hours away from the city because It's the only place we could afford to buy a house and for the first year I was miserable. I felt so isolated. My husband basically told me to suck-it-up and it wouldn't be forever but that led to many arguments.
What always made me feel better was to spend the weekend at my parents place in the city every once in a while. I don't know if it is as option for you, but maybe a quick trip/vacation to Australia to see your friends and family might make your time go by faster. You would have something to look forward to.
3-4 four hour commute? can you arrange to stay with one of your friends in the city once a week. you could have a relaxing dinner out with your friends rather that driving all the way back and that might take some of the stress off.
hang in there!
2007-03-15 05:22:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. Am in similar situation. Moved out of London six years ago. Kids have loads of friends. I haven't really made any. Main reason is neighbours are not my age group (are a lot older) I don't really have the same interests as people my age (late 40's) anyway. Though I've had a few jobs, no-one ever seemed to want to do anything socially. Sometimes I drink to forget, mostly I ignore it. I also hate my current job but can't find another yet. Husband is not a great communicator which doesn't help.
2007-03-15 05:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it seems like you are homesick. see if you can take a trip to australia for a few weeks to visit your friends again, and you will end up missing your husband while you are there, so it will make it that much better when you come back. explain to your husband everything you said here, and ask him how he would feel if it were him that was uprooted from hie world into another one. tell his parents to back off, you are old enough to make your own mistakes. the job thing will take care of itself since you are looking for a new one. and everything else will in the city once you move there because you will be away from his parents and will make new friends. so just hang in there, it will all work out once you move.
2007-03-15 05:00:44 · answer #4 · answered by pikachu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my boyfriend (7 years). He was so miserable we split because I couldn't handle it anymore, we are back together and going strong now. The fact is when you are so miserable it emanates from you and affects everyone around you. You are looking on the bright side which is great. You just have to actually focus on it and believe it now. Even though you have all these things that are making you unhappy, there are many more things that you are missing. Take care and good luck!
2007-03-15 05:00:19 · answer #5 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same situation, im living in Ireland and from the uk. I miss home so much as well. What about going to an evening class in collage or joing a gym try keeping busy that way you dont have as much time to feel down about it all.
2007-03-15 05:22:00 · answer #6 · answered by Molly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to go into the city from time to time....you know out on a date....spend the weekend just the 2 of you. you need to plan a get together if possible with your friends...maybe one of them could have a cook out or something and even allow you to stay over night or something.....you need friends your age to be around.
For your husband, you just need to reassure him that he is enough, but would like to spend some time just the 2 of you out together. and yes if you do not like your job...you need to move on....but when you go for interviews, you need to be positive and have a good attitude....try to leave the miserable feeling at the door....they can pick up on that.
I hope things get to going in your direction soon.....you will be fine......look for the positive in all the negative, and play off the positive....push the negative away....the end of the year will be here b4 you know it.....and don't tell your potential employer that you will be moving at the end of the year.....they will not hire you.
2007-03-15 05:06:28 · answer #7 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him exactly what you just wrote because it will totaly explain everything to him, bit of communication is all it takes. Also take up an intersting evening course, they have them in most big schools, this way you will meet people and have something away from family and work. ALSO don't get depressed, 'always look on the bright side of life du du du du du du du du'
2007-03-15 04:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by fancypants 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
particular. I certainly have in the past, the two via purpose and via twist of destiny. especially circumstances human beings do experience extra useful via inflicting others soreness, for many motives. a type of motives must be for the mere actuality of no longer wanting to experience soreness on my own, hence bringing somebody else down with them. they may well be a sadistic being. Or they could no longer comprehend that they convey their damaging cloud into others lives. Regardless, there are various memories to tell with somebody's misery and the involvement around that emotion in the direction of others.
2016-11-25 21:47:17 · answer #9 · answered by sanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the two of you are causing this problem. The best solution is to talk it out till you are both happy with the solution.
2007-03-15 05:00:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋