Is it just jealousy? Wouldn't you think they would be happy that he has someone who loves their kids?
My husband and I have been married for 2 yrs. We dated for 5.
2007-03-15 04:47:40 · 26 answers · asked by Ellyn 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
bblinquee, I did not say "all" I said "so many"
2007-03-15 04:54:20 · update #1
Also, it was she that left him for another man.
2007-03-15 04:56:07 · update #2
they are worried about being replaced
2007-03-15 04:50:12 · answer #1 · answered by hanntastic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that's always true. I'm a second wife and my ex was supposed to get remarried, and I was happy that the girl he was marriying loved my daughter. There is always a concern though because you don't want your child exposed to anything that's not going to last, because it's so hard for your kids to become attached to someone and have them leave. espicially small children, they don't understand. But love my step-kids dearly, and I get along with their mother just fine, we don't sit around and BS like best friends or anything, but when it comes to the kids we are very good at working together. I think the bottom line is if you are over your previous relatinship and gettign on with your life and your main concern is your children, you are perfectly capeable of being civil for the sake of your kids and accepting the fact that the new person isn't bad. I think when you try to convince your children to hate the new wife, it's because you are jealous that your ex has moved on and you haven't, because if you had you wouldn't be worried about why he liked this other woman and he didn't like you....
2007-03-15 05:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by coffee_inthe_evening 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its that they want them to hate the new wives its just in those cases (ecspecially if the ex wife is single) they feel rejected.
I don't know if you've ever been cheated on but I've had alot of bfs do it to me but one in particular that I was with for a long time and had gone through a lot with cheated on me a lot and embarrassed me infront of our friends, his family, and our co-workers.
It's been years and were friendly now and I still have yet to get over it. No matter how hard I try...he truly broke my heart and I felt like I wasen't good enough.
So it could be the ex is unhappy because maybe how her marriage ended...how quickly did your husband start dating? Were you the first person he started dating? Shes just lonely. So if her kids don't like you then she'll have some support to help her through when shes feeling down.
It doesn't make it right in anyway but thats how they usually feel ecspecially if the male leaves the house.
Now if that isnt the situation then I don't know.
I'm sure part of it is jealousy ecspecially if the kids like you and you guys are a family because that was supposed to be her family you know?!
2007-03-15 04:54:47 · answer #3 · answered by colie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but I would probably want my kids to hate my her too. I would have the maturity to not show it and act responsibly though. I would really, really hate the idea of some other woman playing a mother role to my children. I am not saying it's right, but that's how I would feel. Partly out of jealousy, partly out of fear of being replaced, and also because I worked so hard for so many years teaching them and raising them, they are my life and I wouldn't want to share them with a 3rd party. It might make it easier if she tried to befreind me and asked my opinion and advice and followed some basic agreed upon rules.
That being said, some women are just spiteful and want revenge on the husband. With women like that it doesn't matter what you do, she will hate you anyway. Sometimes even at her children's expense.
I hope you don't take this personally, I just thought you might like some insight from a mother's point of view. Good Luck
2007-03-15 05:05:09 · answer #4 · answered by Athena 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The mother just feels as if she is being replaced and they will get taken out of her life. The new wife stole her love and now her kids. Not to mention most women hate their husbands new wives from natural jealousy or just plain hatred because you feel they took your place, so if she hates you she will want the people most important to her to feel the same way.
2007-03-15 04:51:51 · answer #5 · answered by rachael 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a broad statement because not all women feel that way and some men feel that way you know? but since we're on the subject i believe it could be because what woman doesn't want to be seen as the best mom and the #1 woman in their kids lives. No one want to be "replaced" ya know? so it's not jealousy unless she still has a thing for the guy. it's just a competition thing ya know? that's my thought on this.
2007-03-15 04:55:48 · answer #6 · answered by Lovely 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well most ex-wives want the kids to hate their dads new girl because the mom feels that the new woman might come in and get closer to her children than she is also she(the mom)wouldn't want to feel as if this other woman is taking her role as the kids mom.
2007-03-15 04:55:16 · answer #7 · answered by babyk_150 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats not true. Some stepmothers are the best some make cinderellas stepmother look like sister theresa. It depends on what happened in the relationship and if the new wife was part of the marriage ended. There are good and evil stepmothers and fathers so you need to know the whole story before you assume all mothers want their kids to hate their stepmother.
2007-03-15 04:51:04 · answer #8 · answered by bbinqueens33 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are worried that their children will become closer to the step mom. I also believe that some of it is jealousy. Ever heard the saying "Don't know what you have til it is gone"? Some ex's might be thinking that.
2007-03-15 05:25:20 · answer #9 · answered by unknown2u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT this ex wife.. i love my childrens step mom..shes wonderful to them, loves them..treates them like her own!
i appreciate her more then i can say..i mean think of this..
IF you have to be away from ur kids bc of divorce(weekends for me)..wouldnt u be so greatful that there going to a home where there being loved a cared for. im SO very blessed. but if the step mom is a good loving person..they deserve a chance. NOT all step moms have a wart on the ends of there nose.
For me, i send my childrens step mom flowers on mothers day from ME bc i appreciate her so much..
I agree women need to stick together if you love and treat her children then she should love and respect you.
GOOD LUCK!!
2007-03-15 04:59:48 · answer #10 · answered by lisa baby... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is jealousy - simple. They are afraid the children will love the stepmom - and the poor kids are stuck in the middle.
2007-03-15 04:50:50 · answer #11 · answered by celianne 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋