How can i be there for my daughter when i know she is making big mistakes?

Question

She is seperated from her boy friend they have a 1 yr old child he left her,by the way he is married legally to someone else but has been seperated for 7 yrs,she thinks they can work stuff out without involving the court system as far as the baby and he told her yesterday he has a lawyer, she has been running around drinking and partying because she is grieving i tell her she is messing up she just dont listen. im worried cause she is 900 miles away and us her family is here and she is now living with a friend because they were going to moving to anther apt at the end of the month he has already gotten an apt,he has his family and she has no one but this friend. im afraid he is trying to take the baby behind her back and i cant convince her to come home i live in the country and i know jobs are scarce here but she thinks she can make it on her own get an apt take care of her child and get along with him.she has already sold her car for money. i see a trainwreck coming how do i help her

Answer 1

You are right she is grieving.
You can't stop that process no matter how hard it is to watch.
You can't judge her or tell her what she doesn't want to hear.....she is not listening.
Support her with love and she will ask for your help when she is ready.
She has to hit bottom first...
I doubt he wants the responsibility of a child, he left one marriage and hasn't done anything about it. I think he is all talk and he is trying to scare her and you..
Maybe he is filing for divorce finally from his wife... that would be a step in the right direction for him.
He sounds like he is a procrastinator and doesn't move too quickly on anything that is going to cost him money.
I think he is blowing smoke.
Maybe a visit to see your daughter should be in your plans soon. Go and check it out.. If the baby is in danger then file for protective custody if you must.....
Don't judge the whole thing until you see it first hand.
Get in your car and go......

Answer 2

I agree....the train wreck is coming.....if she keeps partying like this.....he can prove her unfit and take the baby away.....she needs your help, some how you are going to have to get through to her.....you may have to go to her and sit her down and tell her that you love her unconditionally, but what she is doing is going to cause her to loose the child, you tell her that she needs to come home with you, so that she can get a job and save money so that she can get on her feet financially, and that you will help her do that and take care of the baby......but she needs to know that this man is probably already having her watched and getting documented proof of the life style she is living.......and it will be very easy to prove her unfit, and child endangerment if she is doing what you say she is doing.

Answer 3

Sometimes all you can do is pray for your children and make sure they know you are their for them. We have all had to make our own mistakes in order to learn a lesson. It is hard, but it sounds like your daughter is grown and able to make her own decisions (not necessarily the right decision).