my first poem, how is it?

Question

this is my first poem, and i didnt write it for fun. i wrote it to help me through some things in life. any comments would be great

http://www.lovelandia.com/archive/the_one_regret

Answer 1

nice content but terrible rythm..

Answer 2

There's no length requirement on poetry - that isn't really a problem.

It depends on what you were going for - if you just wrote it to get your ideas and feelings out, format and stuff doesn't matter.

However, if you want some suggestions on ways that you can tighten up the 'poetic' elements:

(1) You don't have any sort of constant meter, which is fine, but sometimes it makes your rhyming pairs (couplets) more awkward.

(2) Your rhyme scheme kind of falls apart at the end - you start out rhyming every line in two-line pairs, but at the end, you have random lines that don't rhyme. Decide whether or not you want it all to rhyme - or are there particular lines that you want to stand out because they don't rhyme (or have a completely different meter).

Overall, it's a great first attempt at poetry and perfectly fine the way it is if it helped you in the ways that you hope it would.

Answer 3

It is much too long for a poem.

You have a problem with subject agreement.

It sounds like you have some neat things to say, but are rambling too much to get them said.