Ive been married for over 4 years and have two children with my husband. We got married after I found out I was pregnant with our first child. Something that we rushed into, something I wasnt all excited about like a bride should be. I know there was my first mistake. So now I've met someone else, completely on accident, I wasnt looking for someone else. He's the guy I've always dreamed of. He makes me laugh all the time, so outgoing, caring, constantly smiling when he's around or I'm talking to him. Ive known him since before I ever met my husband, but wasnt until recently (past yr) that we've actually started to hang out. I completely love this man, and he loves and adores me. My husband and I get along, hardly fight, because we hardly talk we live together and raise our kids together but that is it. He no longer works, he stays at home with the boys, but he drops them off at this grandmas all day and does his own thing. I dont want to leave on account of our kids. Help...
2007-03-15 04:03:07 · 20 answers · asked by christina6879cj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
An answer to some questions below... He isnt working because he thinks that I make enough to support the family and his trucks that he buys. Which I was fine with because the kids didnt have to go to daycare or anything like that. But he doesnt keep them. Also, I have tried to spice up our relationship and make it work, and forget about the other guy, but I cant. But I know what it was like growing up with parents that were divorced. My parents love him though and dont want me to leave him, but my grandmother passed last month, and my husband wasnt even there to support me, but I'll give ya a guess who was....
2007-03-15 04:31:20 · update #1
Your kids will be fine. You need to divorce your husband and move on to a relationship that you will be happy in. No one deserved to be unhappy or unloved for the rest of their life. If you are 100% certain you have found the "one" and he feels the same way about you, it's time to get on with your life.
I know many people think you should try as hard as you can, but it's obvious to me their is no love in this marriage, and kids realize that.
2007-03-15 04:09:38 · answer #1 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I disagree with the first post...you shouldn't stay with someone just because you have kids. If you are in a relationship that isn't working or you and your hubby do start arguing that isn't good for the kids at all. If you are not in love with your hubby anymore and have found someone else, it isn't fair for you or your husband. You should both be with people that love you 100 percent. If you want to try and work it out with your hubby I say go to counseling, but it seems like you have made your mind up. Just remember, those butterflies and knots in your stomach that you get when you first meet someone doesn't always stay so make sure this second guy is definitely the one. Good luck to you.
2007-03-15 04:13:32 · answer #2 · answered by Mommy of 2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should stay because of the kids that's not really an answer for the simple fact the your kids are going to see you out cheating with this guy sooner or later and grow up thinking that's what married people do and its OK mommy does it and where going to have more cheating people in the world like you are. I think you should divorce but be fare about it and don't hit the ex up for child support just go joint custody . But then and again you made your bed now lay in it and stop seeing the other guy.
2007-03-15 04:36:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're living a lie, and it's time to put a stop to it. Staying in a loveless marriage, for the sake of the children, is a bad idea. They're not dumb, and will be able to see that there's no love, so you're teaching them what you're living. Get a divorce, and show the children how wonderful love can be. Your husband, soon to be EX, can still be involved with the kids, so they loose nothing, and gain the experience of seeing how beautiful a marriage, with love, can be. Best of luck!
2007-03-15 04:20:41 · answer #4 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the type of women that give the female race a bad name.
Stop your cheating ways (and yes that is what you are doing), and be happy with the family that you have. You decided this is what you want and now want a change. It would be different if your husband was bad but he isn't. You just want something new. If this was being written by a man, every women would want you burned at the stake.
Hope your husband finds a good women after you do what you clearly intend to do...cheat.
2007-03-15 04:09:45 · answer #5 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
first off you need to make sure you know what you want and tats prob the hardest thing because ive been there you love him but r not in love with him right? prob. i personally am totally against staying for the children in the long run it can sometimes cause more harm than good i left my husband of five years and three kids and am seeing someone else but its hard my husband still calls all the time tells me he loves me and wants us to be together just make sure you are doing what you really want and make sure once you do it you dont lead either man on there are children involved so i say personally make sure you make up your mind dont take the children in and out of the home make up your mind and you need to stick to it. GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-03-15 04:39:46 · answer #6 · answered by angela C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smarten up and get mature really fast. You are a mom, for gosh' sake - make sure those kids deserve to have you in their lives. Don't see or contact the other guy again - what the heck are you thinking? You have to get your relationship and your marriage back on track, with your husband, you have to STOP being selfish and girly and resentful and raise a proper family. Your kids deserve better than you are giving them!
2007-03-15 04:41:54 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u will always be able to find a reason why u should leave your husband, any reason will do. and nothing just happens by accident, things happen because we think about them, and make them happen. our thoughts do influence our choices. maybe your hubby needs to get a job, just in case u decide not to be there, maybe u should tell him how u feel, before u move on. most of the time its the first phase of a relationship that makes us feel we are in love, but he may be no different than what u have now, once the honeymoon phase ends, and it always does.
2007-03-15 04:20:21 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh wow do I know how you feel, only reversed. Im in love with my daughters father and Im married to a man that Im not really sure I love anymore. My husband and I were apart for a year due to his job, and I spent alot of time with my daughters father. We didnt have a sexual relationship, just a friendship like weve always had. Just recently Ive had these feelings for him, but Im stuck right now and I cant act on them. If you love him, Im sure you can work something out for your kids.
2007-03-15 04:11:01 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every one seem except your mate seems exciting cus you are settled in. Its not fair to your husband. You need to spice up your marriage. Go away on a crusie or any vacation...with out the kids.. You will find out new things about your husband. Believe me the other guy is just acting. He is not giving you the full him so you can have a crush on him.
It is not worth it. It ok to be attracted to someone....but that is it. In the long run your husband is a TRUE MAN. Please dont leave :(
2007-03-15 04:16:46 · answer #10 · answered by Princess AJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋