Ex's new wife abuses him.?

Question

My ex-husband got married to a young women who abuses him. She has cut him a knife, burned his clothes, torn up the pictures of or three kids, damage to his car, cut phone wires, destroyed or kids toys that where at his place, caused him to lose three jobs, and had hit two of three kids. I don't allow our kids to be around this women anymore. They both feel that I am wrong for keeping my kids away from their father. I don't like them not seing him, but I have too protect my children. The court system won't do anything about it. My ex is allowed to come see his kids anytime he wants he just won't. Our kids miss their father so much. I am in a relationship with a wonderful man so I don't want my ex back. I'mm not want to do anymore. I don't feel that I'm wrong for keeping my kids away from this women.

Answer 1

what a wuss !

Answer 2

Your husband is a man that has rights to protect himself from an abusive person. Now if he wishes to be in this situation that is his choice. I know for a fact when it comes to men being battered, oh no that isn't true, how can that be he is so strong,big, etc. The system is not ready to deal wtih men being abused by woman. I have seen it with my own eyes and woman even making false reports just to get even with the boyfriend or husband. My heart goes out to your children but your best interest is your children not your ex.
Use the phone . If the children miss him awful. At least they can talk to him.
Keep your children, make other plans with your ex to have the children, it's his lost.

Answer 3

You are not wrong for keeping your kids away from this woman...but to get a little on the reality side here, I would whoop her a@#. Excuse me for being a little fiesty here, but I can't stand to hear about a female that thinks she is a big bear, and tries to get everything her way, and on top of that she hit your children too!! Ohhh, heck no. If I were you, she wouldn't hit anybody else, that's for darn sure!! But, you keep your children safe, and far as that goes for their father, he has to see your point. I mean, these are his kids too, and he shouldn't want her to hit or abuse them too. Just pray on it, and let God fix this mess that she has started. She won't have good luck with all of the nasty things that she is doing to your ex and your children. Just be careful...people like that will do anything. Keep your children close, and tell your ex not to eat anything that she cooks. All of this dangerous activity is for a reason. What she is planning, I don't know, but be cautious!!

Answer 4

The woman sounds psychotic & your ex sounds like he has some issues himself to be allowing her to do these things.

I would say that you should talk to him when he comes to visit the kids, but you have said that he doesn't come to visit them.

I don't know what to suggest. I think you are right for wanting your kids to stay away from that kind of environment, though. Good on you for that decision.

I think maybe somehow you need to get him alone to talk to him about what is going on & make him aware that if he doesn't seek help & either get away from her or get her to seek counseling as well...... you don't feel comfortable with the kids going to visit him.

Perhaps you can set up some kind of mediation with your lawyers to discuss the situation?! (Assuming you both had divorce lawyers.)

Answer 5

You are wrong.

You have no right to keep the kids from their father, you are punishing the kids for someone elses actions. This is something you will regret later as the kids will hate you for it.

Whatever problem he has with his wife is his, not yours. Tell him how you feel and your worries and leave it at that. Ask him to cut down the amount of time the kids spend with the new wife and leave it at that.

If you were my ex, I would be taking you to court for what you are doing.

Answer 6

Of course you are right to protect your children. End of story. Everything is complicated when there are kids in the family - without kids, I'd ask you why you keep in touch with your ex and know these details of his life at all! Every bad boy is a child needing us to fix him - until he ruins our life! Now your bad boy is still in need of fixing while you've moved on with your life. If it weren't for the fact that you have kids together, I'd say tune him out. He has the freedom to come and see your kids but he won't - how much do you want to bet she won't let him?
Your concerns are that your kids miss their father. Short of supervised visits (you could ask a court to award supervised visits, then you'd know they could see him on her 'turf' without her harming them), there's not much you can do about it. You can explain to them that you're afraid for their safety because she has hit them but then they might feel compelled to lie about what they really see.
Just sit tight, wait for that relationship to 'flame out' and know that as long as you keep in touch minimally with your ex, your kids will always know where to find him when they are older and better able to protect themselves.

Answer 7

This whole thing is a real, sad mess. Why were you divorced, and was one of you unfaithful to the other?

The person who was unfaithful is at fault, and if you were both unfaithful, then yoiu're both at fault. The question is, does butter melt in your mouth in this situation?

This is presented as though from the viewpoint that you had a convenience divorce because "it didn't work out" and you needed to "go on with you lives" or "be happy."

For the latter, I wish they would outlaw divorce, altogether. Either you, your husband or both of you (depending upon what really happened here) should be ashamed of yourselves, and how sad for your children!

Answer 8

Your doing the right thing, and if he is allowing this behavior then your Ex is just as guilty as his wife. Just make sure you file the proper complaints when needed if he or his wife were to do this to you and the kids while they are with you. This way when you need to legally keep the kids from them you will have legal documentation to back you up.

Answer 9

I wouldn't let my kids around the crazy either, but it is wrong to keep them from their father. Are there police reports of how crazy she is? If so, I would take him back to court for supervised visitation. Explain that the new wife is a physco and that she hits him and has hit your children. ~Personally, I would have but a beatin on her for touching my kids.

If there is a court order for his visitation, you could get it for contempt by not letting them go. File an emergency exparte' for supervised visits immediatley!

Answer 10

Please keep your children away from this psycho! As for what your ex husband is putting up with - well, that's his problem and if he's smart he will have her arrested the next time she hurts him, one of the kids, or destroys property. Your only concern should be your own children and it's great that you are currently with a man who can help you help them through this situation. Good luck.

Answer 11

Unfortunately, you are stuck in the middle.

If your ex hasn't prosecuted her or filed an order of protection, then the courts can't keep your kids from her -- unless you can document that she has abused or threatened them, or that they have witnessed abuse.

If he doesn't come to see them, then that is HIS choice -- make sure the kids understand that. You should not be the "bad guy" in their eyes if he is not man enough to take the initiative to see them or to stand up for himself and break free from that psycho witch.