Indian husbands are so devoted to their mother that they go deaf to their wife. Even if the wife is insulted by their mother they are supporting their mother. Why so?
Why cannot they trust thier wives?
2007-03-15 03:40:21 · 10 answers · asked by life 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think it depends entirely upon the guy's personality. I know two of my uncles were mean to their moms after they got married and were uxorious. That said, I guess Indian guys (n indian girls) r brought up in a unique way and are dependent upon, close to their family and pampered for a big part of their lives. So, it is natural and I believe very imporatnt that they should be attached to them. If I have doted on my kid all my life and a woman were to take him away from me suddenly, it would break my heart. However, it is upon the guy to strike a balance and favor the right party (~person) at the right time. One of my boyfriends did just that, his parents were really opposed to his getting close to me 'cause he really liked me and they didn't want to let go a thing that had been theirs for so long. But, he used to be angry with them when they used to be mean to me and with me when I used to do that. So, I guess it depends on the guy. But if a guy's parents r being mean to u for the wrong reasons and he can't see that or can't oppose, just means u r with the wrong guy. There r all kinds of guys in India.
2007-03-16 20:41:40 · answer #1 · answered by 123 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, obviously! Any person who recognises what stupendous sacrifices his parents have done for him is bound to support his parents more than his wife. Parent-son bonds build by sacrificing self for other and by being there for each other through 'good and bad' times. Relationship between a wife and husband is more of a 'give and take' type. If you want your husband to obey you, you will have to serve him more than his parents do. Without expecting anything in return. In all the other cases, you will be left without much success.Besides, its also likely that you be seen in bad light. There's always a price tag! I prefer being secondary than being a mother to my husband. Its just not my cup of tea! Remember if your husband is devoted to your mother-in-law more than you, you should be proud of him! He has his values intact! Come what may, your husband will be there for you! Physically and mentally! Just as he is there for his parents!
Talking of 'insults' that your mother-in-law inficts upon you, there are many reasons for that. I can think of some.
(a) Your mother-in-law might be going through menopause.
(b)Your presence makes her feel that she is losing her right over her child.
(c)She feels that her way of doing things is THE only way to mend things and no-one could do better than her.
(d)Your mother-in-law fails to realise that every person is ought to make lot of mistakes before he/she is perfect. Eg When she say something like, "Have you ever cooked anything? Haven't you been taught how to cook?"
Say something as, "Your daughter-in-law was a good student. She had to devote more time to studies than housework. If she is shown little acceptance and allowed more time, she has capacity to excel as a good cook too!"
(e)She still regards you as 'an alien' who has stepped on thier world to destroy it.
(f)She doesn't receive all the privileges and attention that she used to enjoy as a wife. Like dining out, tours, family functions, gifts and flowers, jewellery, etc. Eg: say when she remarks, "Girls these days are so weak. They get tired with only a handful of work!" You reply, "Girls become even more weaker when they are ridiculed for their weakness instead of helping them to gain their strength"
Elders in the family are expected to grow out of earthly pleasures. But its easier said than done.
You are not required to go overboard to show your affection to either your husband or your mother-in-law. Showing acceptance for whatever they are, also goes into building open relationships. If the insults aren't very serious, just laugh over them. Or say something like,"That's what my mother says too!"
If they are serious insults, say something like, "I feel you have a great misunderstanding about me. I would like to explain why I did this, etc"
Hope you get along well with her! Home Sweet Home!
2007-03-16 08:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by Mau 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Its all because the mother to son attachment is very strong. When you will have a kid if you are a Indian then you will realize it. There are exceptions
2007-03-15 03:45:08 · answer #3 · answered by Bacti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually, thats a good sign of respect for woman. if u are trying to get ur husband to dispise his mother there is something wrong with you, not him.
2007-03-15 07:01:51 · answer #4 · answered by ella sampi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same crap happens all over the place. I'm Canadian and live with a mama's boy too.
2007-03-15 03:43:56 · answer #5 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The dot in the middle of the forehead is a hypnotizer to brainwash their sons...
2007-03-15 03:45:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
so, don't marry a indian man and all your issues will be solved!
2007-03-15 03:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
all men are like that .. not just Indian men ..
2007-03-15 04:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by blueflowerscs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there culture.
2007-03-15 03:44:44 · answer #9 · answered by LIZA 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they have little tiny pencil ***** too.
2007-03-15 09:19:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋