Is it possible to start graduate school and a family at the same time?

Question

I am recently married and I have been accepted into graduate school for this upcoming fall. We want to start a family, but I am worried that school and a baby will be too much, be we really do not want to want any longer.

Answer 1

If you can manage your priorities and assignments, and have help from your spouse, then it won't be a problem. I'm going through that right now, and have a 4 year old and a 6-month old. My wife knows when to give me time for my studies, and because of that, I will finish my education.

If you have support and can manage it, then go for it. If not, maybe you should wait.

Answer 2

I think this depends on the type of graduate school you are looking at. Some (particularly Ph.D. programs) tend to be all-consuming, and may be hard to manage. Others involve a year or so of classes, and the likelihood is that you could finish before the baby arrived. A lot of people manage to do both at once, but you need to have a good support system in place (local parents who are willing to take on heavy babysitting duties and/or a supportive, helpful spouse). You also need to realize that often things don't work out as planned. The pregnancy may not go smoothly, or the child may not be the perfect little angel you were dreaming of. On the flip side of that, you may not be able to get pregnant as quickly as you plan either, so why put off life indefinitely while waiting for it to happen? Find out about the program's policies about taking time off in the middle of the program before you start. For example, in California, if it takes you more than 5 years from the time you started law school until the time you finish, you have to start over again from scratch. On the other hand, with other programs, you may be able to take off a year or more in the middle and jump right back in where you left off.

Answer 3

One of my grad school classmates had twins last June. She found out that she was pregnant mid-way through the fall semester and was put on bed rest early the next semester. She was able to finish one class, since most of it involved independent work, but ended up with two incompletes. She's just about caught up now on that work and will graduate this spring, but she's decided not to apply to PhD programs until the kids are older and she cancelled her plans to do a thesis (which was optional in our program). Granted, not everybody has twins or is put on bed rest. However, I would assume that you will have a difficult pregnancy, just so that you've looked at the worst case scenario.

The first semester of grad school is really tough. Not necessarily academically hard, but its a big shift. I don't know anybody who didn't spend the whole semester in a panic. By the end of the next semester you'll feel more settled. You'll also know your profs, graduate director, department chair, and classmates pretty well. I'd spend this year just being in grad school and think about getting pregnant once you've got a handle on that part. Good luck!

Answer 4

Are you a man or a woman? I know parenting is demanding for both mom and dad, but it depends if you're going to go through the pregnancy, you may have to biuld in sick days vs. if you're not going to be pregnant. Also, the type of program you're in will make a difference. Are you in a sciences program where you will have to spend a lot of time in a lab or are you in a program where you can do a lot of reading and writing at home?

I'm just finishing up graduate school but I have had friends who have had families while working on their studies. I will say that most of them have waited until they were finished with their Master's before getting pregnant and most of them had their pregnancies while taking their qualifying exams. I won't lie--it is difficult. But as long as you have a supportive partner and an understanding advisor, it can be done.

Answer 5

It is certainly possible, but it isn't sane. A baby is a more than full-time proposition. Unless you have full-time help available, you will be giving both the baby and the graduate program short shrift.

You've only been married a short time. Graduate school is tough enough on a relationship. Adding a baby to the mix is asking for a divorce. Give yourselves time to cement your relationship before you add a baby.

Grad school is only a couple of years. Give it the time and attention it needs before changing focus.

Answer 6

I'm sorry but I think its too much. My husband got his masters while we had children. It will be much harder on you. I would start graduate school first. I know you want children, but if you are recently married you need a little time to be "married" before you become parents.

married 12 years - 2 kids

Answer 7

It depends on a lot of things. What will your spouse be doing? What school and program are you doing? How much money do you have? How supportive are the would-be grandparents.