My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years now. we started dating when we were 17. we really messed around on each other in highschool (he was the BIGGEST flirt) and in college we vowed to be loyal, faithfull, and honest. We just couldn't leave each other. 2 years later, he starts messing around again (keep in mind that he never slept with her) and all my trust issues are back. that was last year and to this day I constantly check his phone bill and call any suspicious numbers. I don't trust him very much, but I love him to death. He is an amazing person. we have so much in common and we love being together more than anything. I just wish he was more honest and I wish I could trust him more. Is it possible to regain the trust or am i only hurting myself.. and do men really change?
2007-03-15 03:27:49 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Girl with out trust you are really stressing your self. If you have doubt about him, leave him alone. I know you two been together for a while, but let it go. Its going to be hard! You will find someone out there for you, or they will find you. I been that route before! If you are constantly stressing over him, its not worth it.
2007-03-15 03:44:51 · answer #1 · answered by KC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The relationship is doomed without trust but the good news is that he can regain your trust but he has to want to do it and really make an effort. You guys sound like you have a really good relationship with the exception of the trust thing. Sit him down and have a talk with him and ask him what he really wants. If he really wants to regain your trust then he has to really work at it and that means he has to quit flirting and messing around with other girls because it's disrespectful to your relationship. If he's not willing to do that for you then it's better that you walk away now.
2007-03-15 10:47:32 · answer #2 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is practically one of the biggest things in a relationship. If there is no trust then there really is no point in being with someone. You should really talk to him. If he's honest and really loves you, he shouldn't even be messing around with others, even if he's not sleeping with them. Flirting is one thing, but messing around is a whole other thing. It is possible to regain trust in him again. If it's worth saving you should really sit down and talk to him; let him know how you feel.
2007-03-15 10:34:22 · answer #3 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is something easily given at first but, after it's broken, hard to regain. Before a person can be trusted they must be trustworthy...meaning worthy of trust. You need to ask yourself if he is worthy of your trust and, if not, are you willing to continue a relationship with someone you don't trust? Men change but some habits and patterns of behavior do not if there is no reason to change. By taking him back you are telling him he doesn't have to change. A better question may be why won't you change and stop allowing him to mistreat you? You deserve better than this,I'm sure.
2007-03-15 10:35:35 · answer #4 · answered by LARRY M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my girl has the same problem. whenever i come over, she asks to see my phone, looks through my texts and calls to see what im up to, but we cant really blame you. after getting messed around on, you cant help but feel insecure and less trust. you cant survive without that. i mean she did the same to me, but i dont really check her stuff because i trust her fully, but dont get me wrong i still worry and think about it. trust is always a risky thing, because guys nowadays are flimsy with that. if he really loves you, and must after this long, just give it some time. theres gunna be an opportunity situation when the trust will be put to test. then you can see if its really worth it.
2007-03-15 10:34:20 · answer #5 · answered by sh8dybrady120 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without trust, there is little hope. But we do change. You really need to confront him with your trust issues; not in an accusing manner. Express your concerns and tell him why you feel the way you do. It's tough, but if he is going to cheat on you, better you find out now before you marry.
2007-03-15 10:32:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat. How do you trust someone after the hurt you and lie to you? The thing that everyone is missing is that love still remains after the trust is gone. How do you deal with loving someone you cannot trust? That is what we both have to figure out.
2007-03-15 11:11:18 · answer #7 · answered by honeyluv_2010 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is part of the foundation of a relationship, without it...the relationship is doomed. If you decide to marry him, how happy will you be with a kid on the hip wondering where he is at midnight, or who he is with. Nevermind that, what about diseases. And, how can you be so sure he didn't sleep with any of the girls? Chances are, he did. Sorry, but I think you need to find someone to trust.
2007-03-15 10:37:24 · answer #8 · answered by BrokenOpalAngel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where will u be married with him 2-3 kids and he starts cheating AGAIN sound slike ur both in a relationship out of habit not respect trust and commitment move on or u will wind up 50 years old and miserable full of regrets and what if questions
2007-03-15 10:32:12 · answer #9 · answered by mmbmw2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
after awhile u will get the trust back, providing he remains loyal to u and theres no more cheating. the trust can come back, the more time that passes that he is loyal, and committed, the more chance the trust will come back. yes people sometimes change, if they love u.
2007-03-15 11:15:34 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋