My husband never told me about his past I got to know from his notebook.. Is he really wrong person ?

Question

Hi
I am married for 8 months. Mine is a arrange marriage. My husband never told me about his past, but I told him about mine. He said to me that he has nothing to say about his past. After a week of our marriage I got to know all his girlfriends and the relationship from his notebook,. I asked him about this and he told me that he had some relationships but before marriage, now he loves me only. But after all this, I lost my faith in him. Is he really wrong person or I am thinking so much on it?

Answer 1

It's his past. Almost everyone has one. I don't understand why you are all bent about it and how you can lose faith over something that took place before you were ever in the picture.

And, it doesn't really matter that he didn't share all the gory details of his past with you before you got married. It's often better that the details aren't shared.

Answer 2

The past is the past. There is nothing you can do to change it. I had a policy to get rid of all letters and pictures of ex-girl friends when moving onto the next. Because it is not fair to compare previous gfs to the new one. Nor do I want to be compared to past bfs. Every person is an individual. When I finally found the love of my life, she had a previous marriage. I personally didn't care who he was what he did... or really anything about him. That was her past and didn't really concern me. Everyone has a past, you can only concentrate on the future, your building a life from this moment farwards... it really doesn't matter whats in that notebook', if anything, your husband should have thrown that away a long time ago.

In an arranged marriage, do you have a choice? Does he have a choice to not marry you? To me this would make it an even stronger argument for both of you to put the past behind you. Did your parents make this arrangement? This type of condition is very foreign to most people.

Answer 3

I think that you might be making too much of it. It's never easy to hear about the previous loves of your husband but try to remember that he is now with you. If he wanted to be with someone else he would be don't you think? It depends exactly what you read in the books though. Did it say anything about wishing to be with an ex girlfriend? If that's the case, then I'd be upset. But if it's all stuff in the past then leave it there and live in the moment, provided that he is good to you and respects your marriage. Why did you have an arranged marriage in the first place?

Answer 4

Everyone has a past. His was obviously not important enough to him to share with you. Meaning, the others meant nothing. Your marriage was arranged. You didn't meet by fate. You were pushed toward that direction. I'm sure both your parents made great choices for the two of you. You shouldn't invade his privacy by snooping through his things. It causes trust issues. Just enjoy what you do have in each other. Throughout the years, you'll love each other more & more. Love takes time to develop. You can't love a stranger, but you can love a friend.

Answer 5

well it's not like either of you chose to be together so your past can be a problem,if you let it.This is what you need to do,stop worrying over those other women and turn your self into that hot little wife you use to imagine you'd be one day. Every man wants a whore in the bedroom and a lady outside of it.Be sexy and loving to him and soon he will have eyes only for you.Your marriage bed is undefiled and nothing you two do will be considered sinful as you are married.Turn your bedroom into the place the two of you become one mind and body,keep all discussions for bed time and be in each others arms while making decisions together.Give him all that he needs to feel you and make sure he gives you back what you need.Forget the others.

Answer 6

You have an arranged marriage, and you love him and he loves you? WOW! That is amazing!

I would let the past go. It was before he knew you, and some people just don't like to talk about their past, and I'm one of those. Don't lose faith in him for something he did when he didn't know you, just trust that he is different because he is with you!

Answer 7

First of all what were you doing in his notebook?? He's the one that shouldn't trust you! Second, If he didn't want to talk about his past, It's a sign that he is ready to move on..... Sometimes it's better not to talk about old flings. Any guy you will marry, will have a past, it is up to you if you want to find out about it and deal with what it is. Unless you want to marry a Virgin! Now, since you seen the notebook, and he knows about it, what does he have to say? Is he's saying well those are old bla bla bla. If so, ask him to burn it in front of you so you too can move on with your lives and forget about the past. If he hesitates, well those old girlfriends are way too important for him, you two really need to talk! Good luck

Answer 8

And why can not childrens understand that irrelevant habit reflects badly on their popularity? How do you be attentive to that this "pal" did no longer tell his male acquaintances that something DID happen? there's a asserting, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, and sounds like a duck... in case you do no longer want human beings to speak, you ought to be professional and act in an appropriate way. It appears like your husband believes someplace in his heart that whether you probably did no longer certainly have an affair, you have been properly on your thank you to getting there. He would in no way completely have confidence you returned. do no longer blame the ladies persons for exposing you. Blame your self on your undesirable judgment. You knew this youthful guy become making a play for you, and you enable him manhandle you - curiously in front of witnesses. you in addition to mght have been feeling missed via your difficult working husband. i'm optimistic the attention become flattering. i might say that the only element that saved you from having an affair become those older women persons ratting you out. a lot of human beings are continuously going to assume the worst; that's why it is so significant to act in a manner that can't be interpreted for something it is not. Like I say, that's rather difficult for somebody to regain have confidence as quickly as this is been lost. you have plenty to make amends for. I advise which you the two get some marriage counseling, to help iron issues out, and help you step up on your accountability on your undesirable judgment.

Answer 9

We think that we want our husbands to be comfortable enough to tell us everything but it that really true. Do you really think you could sit back and listen to his love stories without feeling that pang in your stomach. Let it go..........He married you. You think you feel bad now, just make him talk about it. Not only will you feel worse than you do now but he will know it and he will feel bad and resentful . Be careful what you ask for , sometimes its best to let the past remain in the past and concentrate on the future.

Answer 10

I am by nature a nosy person. I do take the time to get to know my man. Sometimes it takes snooping to get to know people. But............. just because he didn't tell you all about his past doesn't mean he doesn't love you. It means he has a past and doesn't want to discuss it. That is his right. We all have a right to our secrets from our past.
Forget this. And let your love for him grow!