I got really upset & felt hurt because we got into an arguement & he left & went to the strip club. It really hurt me when I found out he went because I had told before how I felt about him going there.
I had been drinking alittle, which I know is no excuse, when he came home & I found out he had been at the strip club. He was drunk & went right to bed. I stayed up with 1 of his friends that was living with us. We watched some tv and then he started rubbing my leg and thing led to another. The next day 1 of his other friends told him what happened. I confessed &apologized, but still called the guy a couple of times. The calls were just to see how he was & if he found anywhere to stay since he had been living with us.
My boyfriend keeps telling me that he knows someday we will be together, but he acts like he doesnt ever want to be with me.He asked if Im going to wait for him & said he will wait for me. I will wait, I'm truly sorry and want to be with him. I don't know what to do.
2007-03-15 03:00:23 · 9 answers · asked by mljkbaj1 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You got lots of making up to do. You are going to have to be on your best behavior to make him forgive this. Remember though, he will never FORGET it .
2007-03-15 03:09:45 · answer #1 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
10 years without marriage and the guy goes to strip clubs. He wasn't being faithful to you, anyway. Some would say since he didn't commit the act in person but only in his mind that he was being faithful. So untrue. His wandering eyes and thoughts have caused him to never commit to you fully.
As far as your reaction. It was wrong. You can't change it. You've apologized which is all you can do. He felt like you made a fool out of him and men don't suffer being a fool very easily. Many men will walk away for that reason alone. You can't change his reaction to your action. It hurts now but one day it won't hurt and you will have learned from this experience. You now know what you are capable of and will guard against it in future - a very valuable lesson, and you also know that you are not okay with strip clubs, a form of pornography, so when you meet a guy you will get that out in the open up front and find out if they are into porn and if so, move on because you won't be able to change them or convince them it's wrong. Good news? There are plenty of mature men who don't need or want that type of stuff in their relationship as they have figured out it is harmful and that they would rather have the relationship then the junk.
Let him go and learn from this. You've learned things about yourself that will help you with your future. And that is VERY VERY GOOD. You'll be okay - you really will.
2007-03-15 10:20:37 · answer #2 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a boyfriend for 10 years Where's the engagement ring ? After 10 years why aren't the two of you married?
You cheated because you know you are wasting your time with this guy and it's time for you to move on to a relationship that will evolve into something more.
10 years is a long time to be with someone who hasn't committed to you. Life is way to short to stay in this kind of relationship.
2007-03-15 10:11:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going to the strip club is not the same as sleeping with someone. Also, if you aren't married you have no committment. You piss trust away and that's your problem.
You wanted to hurt him with a revenge f&ck.. You cannot make your boyfriend forgive you, and even IF he forgives you he will never forget it.
You can live with the guilt, or forgive yourself first. beating yourself probably doesn't help things. I know someone who screwed around on her husband and this lady is still wailing on herself long after her husband forgave her. He has said and I believe he has forgiven her. She can't live it down in her own mind. So much that effects their relationship to this day. (10 years later).
I've got some simple things that I've said to clients.
Live each day as if it's your last. Live it as fully and as genuine as possible. Guilt is useless, especially if you don't learn from it. and it dangerous if you don't let go of it.
2007-03-15 10:11:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You made the bed, now lay on it.
Now the never-ending cycle of "getting back" at each other by sleeping around has begun. Kiss your relationship good bye.
2007-03-15 10:12:13 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do now.Once you betrayed him you no longer look the same to his eyes and looking at you is like looking at a stranger,a stranger who cheats and lies.Now he has to decide if he loves this new person who lives with him or not,and probably will choose not to love you for you are not the same girl now and how do you love a stranger ????
2007-03-15 10:09:47 · answer #6 · answered by punkin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
shame on him for going to a strip club and shame on you for cheating. your relationship is a mess. it's best to just move on with your lives. the damage has been done.
2007-03-15 10:36:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You went out with him for 10 year and he never proposed ?
Why do you want him back ?
2007-03-15 10:22:07 · answer #8 · answered by kenneth h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had sex with one of your boyfriends friends while he was sleep in your bed. You are some piece of work. Guess we know what that makes YOU.
2007-03-15 10:34:22 · answer #9 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋