ok i found out that im gay about 6 yrs ago, and ive been 2 scared to tell anyone, but i cant deal w/ all this frustration anymore, i have a girlfriend that means the world to me just nat as a girlfriend, but as a best friend. ive always thought that it may just be a stage of my life, but it just gets more intence. i just dont want to hurt my girlfriend. what do i do?
2007-03-15 02:57:58 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I wish I could say anything to help you.
I would not suggest that you try and have sex with a guy. for my conception of being gay is only relevant to actually having a sexual intercourse with a guy and loving it.
Whether you have done that already or not is not the issue. What you have to do is seek help if you think you need help, frustration and confusion will not make you only unhappy but also the people around you. Take a serious vacation from sex and sexual thoughts, this might help, divert your attention towards other things like sports or hobbies or your job if that applies.
If all this didn't work then state clearly to your girlfriend that you can't live with her, and tell her why. If she truely loves you she will help you. If she doesn't then good riddance.
Finally I must warn you, the gay world is fragile, full of pains and delusions, unless you know how to separate between your emotional needs and carnal desires, you will be very miserable. People aren't likely to find a Mr. right and live happily ever after. Some people grow old and pathetic looking back at a "glorious" lust driven past, only to find themselves horribly lonely afterwards.
Are you sure you are ready to face the negative sides of homosexuality as well as the exciting part of it?
blessed be
2007-03-15 03:43:17 · answer #1 · answered by Mahyar I 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if your not ready to tell your parents at least tell her your girlfriend. you say she is your best friend then as a friend be honest with her. just think if it were the other way around wouldn't you want her to be honest. the more you wait the more she will feel hurt. if you have decided that living a lie is way to hard. i see no other choice. it won't be easy i can only imagine. i truly wish you the best in this. it must be very hard. having to act and say things you don't feel. i personally am not gay. i hope someone who is answers your question and can give you good advise as how they went about it. when they decided to come out.
2007-03-15 03:13:40 · answer #2 · answered by BarbaraJean 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does she think you 2 are going somewhere in a relationship or is she a true friend or what. Think about that because she is the key.
If she thinks you 2 are lined up as a couple, she has to go. Sorry, but she has to go. Dont argue.
If she is a true friend, talk it over with her. You will find out fast how true a friend she is.
Don't worry, you will start finding your true self just as soon as you get into a discussion with your female friend.
2007-03-15 03:06:41 · answer #3 · answered by jinoturistica 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Start being honest with yourself and with others. You can't keep up a charade all your life and if you try, you will only end up hurting your girlfriend and yourself. My ex-boyfriend was gay too and I tried my best to support him as he started to come out to me. Your girlfriend might not even be surprised. Emphasise that you do love her as a friend but you have to let her go so she can have a relationship with someone who can give her his whole heart. Unless you have a scary fundamnentalist family they will do their best to support you. Email me if you want to talk further.
2007-03-15 03:03:51 · answer #4 · answered by Velouria 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
At the end of the day, you have been lying to her. You need to end your relationship with her, and hope that someday you can be friends.... but don't wait for it. Pursue a youth gay group, etc. Gay men are notorious for hurting young women's hearts by not having the grapes to be honest.
Come on out, it's nice here.
2007-03-15 03:46:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
first of all leave your girlfriend, you are being selfish, she deserves a man that loves her as a woman and a partner, not a best friend, maybe in the future the two of you can be friends. Second get counseling, and learn to deal with who you are, there is nothing wrong with being gay, you may just need some help to deal with it.
2007-03-15 03:04:28 · answer #6 · answered by rickyhunter 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You're already hurting your girlfriend by leading her on. Break off the the relationship. She believes it to be one thing and you know it to be another. It's not fair to her.
Being gay isn't shameful, playing with other people's hearts is!
2007-03-15 03:44:02 · answer #7 · answered by castle h 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Better go seek counselling i say. it mayb a phase of life and that ur mind kps tinking about it causing ur hormones to change into such a behaviour.it happens! but if u r willing to accept tat..take a gradual confession..dun juz tell those who u wanna tell immediately..they mayb too shocked and their reaction cld hurt ur feelings badly..!
2007-03-15 06:04:56 · answer #8 · answered by aw_farid 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You gotta tell her! No offense, but she is in a relationship with you, when she could be with someone who can reciprocrate her feelings. She is wasting her time, and you are wasting your time. Be honest with her, I am sure you guys will be able to keep your friendship. Then find yourself a man and be happy. You only live once! Enjoy it!
2007-03-15 04:44:58 · answer #9 · answered by The One and Only 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i feel for you, not that i have had this experience, but my regards go to you, i think if your girlfriend loves you that much that she will be okay, just tell your girlfriend " honey i love you so much but theres somthin i gotta tell you, i feel that i might possibly be gay, i still love you but not as a girlfriend but as a best friend," you need to be light on her and DO NOT TELL HER youve been gay for 6years, shell kill you if you do!!!!!
2007-03-15 03:16:18 · answer #10 · answered by abby_borg 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋