I am 24 and my husband is 27 and we have been married 3 years. Im ready to have a baby, he talks about it, and thinks about it, and seems to consider it, but when it comes down to doing the deed, he backs out!! He says we should wait till im 30. I definatly dont want to wait that long. I went back to school for a new degree, but im still working, and he throws that in and says it's my fault we cant have one cause im in school. But money is not an issue. He went and bought a new pick up yesterday. I just feel at the bottom of his list. Any thoughts on the situation? We get along great, no scandolous behavior of any kind. He was gone for 2 years in the military, but we got through that great, so I dont see any negatives to bringing in a new addition to add to our bliss!! Thanks for some nice input!
2007-03-15 02:55:59 · 11 answers · asked by ap54 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
I'm sorry, but unless both you and him are in agreement about this, it will be a horrible idea for you to get pregnant. You can talk to him, and give him your reasons, and you need him to talk to you about his. If he isn't ready, respect that. If you can't, you don't need to be with him, as you two have different life goals.
2007-03-15 03:29:37 · answer #1 · answered by Morning Glory 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was kind of the same way except reversed. I am 29, will be 30 in May and my husband is 27, 28 soon. He thought we should get going on the family thing and I was sooooo scared and hesitant. I loved doing and spending our money on whatever and going out to eat all the time etc. But I realized, I am almost 30 and I always wanted a baby before I turned 30, my baby is due in May. :) Do not push him to much, he may just not be ready yet. One day he will be ready and you will be there waiting. You are 24, still young and have plenty of time. If you are really insistent on wanting one now, you guys need to sit down and have a long talk. Good luck.
Wow, do not listen to Star, that is the WRONG thing to do. That is so wrong, manipulative and deceptive. How can you live with yourself tricking your husband??
2007-03-15 10:10:22 · answer #2 · answered by ShanaJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's such bliss, why the problem? You should be talking with him more about your resentment. He's your husband. You also have to respect the fact that maybe he just isn't ready right now and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Doesn't anyone ever talk about kids before marriage? Don't push him into making such an important decision! You can't go back after it's said and done. It's something to really think hard on before just jumping into it. I mean after all, a child is a life long responsibility! Talk with him and maybe you both can reach some sort of agreement together. Meet each other halfway! Maybe try having one at 28 and a half years old! If you want him to respect you wanting a baby, you have to give him the same respect as well! Also, don't make the mistake of trapping him into having a baby like some people suggested. Not only is it morally wrong, it's totally unfair and irresponsable and disgusting!
2007-03-15 10:03:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
you've got to respect your husbands wishes too. I understand theres such a thing as a biological clock, but itll tick for some time yet, and please dont take offense to this, but it is about money. Im a 28 yr old father, and we struggle day to day. finish your schooling, get a good job, earn a lil time at it, then get pregnant, so youll have better means. everything on earth is going to increase in price, and why not be better prepared. you may be seeing a repo man take that new truck away. I dont know the full extent of your income level, so pardon me if youve already made tons of money. And again, he is gonna be the father. wait till hes ready too. hell do some raising of the child too, and hell share in midnight wakeup calls, less sex (trust me on that), and all that comes w/ it. I hope you see my point too. it seems only women have read this question, so lets see a mans side. AND IT IS A SCARY THING FOR A MAN OR A WOMAN TO BRING A CHILD INTO A FAMILY THATS NOT READY TO BE A FAMILY. And dont TRICK him. Hes your hubby, remember. Hell be ready. And if anyone thinks I hate my kid, or hate being a father, YOURE WRONG!!!! I love my daughter and my stepkids w/ all my heart. Just a few years ago, I never would have thought Id be where I am, but I wouldnt trade it for anything. good luck
2007-03-15 10:08:05 · answer #4 · answered by kevinc 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my hubby was hesatant unitl i became pregnant with our first. when he found out he was so happy he danced. if you are not currently on birth control just enjoy the ride and see what happens. if you are on BC and you plan to be a stay at home mom you could remind him that you will be carrying the greater load and be the one who primarily care for the baby. he may just be worried that you will overload your self with school a career and a baby. sounds like he doesnt want anything to happen to you.
2007-03-15 10:03:28 · answer #5 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey iam at the same situation as you are ...i feel men are nervous of having children...scared of getting a "daddy" tag..we should give them more time i guess..thats how i pull this thing off my head!
2007-03-15 10:02:57 · answer #6 · answered by alarmedbird 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you two have different priorities, yours is starting a family and his is buying a pickup. Just tell him this is so important to you, and why should you have to wait until you are thirty? I'm sure if you got pregnant, once he felt the baby kick and saw your belly growing he would change his mind.
2007-03-15 10:01:44 · answer #7 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
hmm..tis seems like quite a challenging qns cause tis ish e problem between euu and yr spouse....
well, tis ish just some of my childish c0mments..
i think perhaps e reason y yr husband ish holding back perhaps becos hefully understands e responsibility,the commitment that euu all hab to put in...or perhaps he ish just veri uptight bout it..give him some time,and communicate more wit him whn there's chances to understand more frm him....since euu all hab been goin on real great and distance has neber been a prob,i guess yr relationship ish able to withstand hardships....so...if tis issue will further strain yr ties wit him,then try not to bring it up for e time being..anyway, it's not worth euu straining yr wonderful relations over tis issue...
alwaes rmb...if its meant to b yrs,it will b yrs....
just some juvenile opinions of a 15 yr old!! mi! ha.
2007-03-15 10:08:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
if you really want to get pregnant you don't have to wait on him. how does he know if you really take your pill everyday?
i went through the same situation and yes he was a little upset at first because he felt i tricked him but when the baby was born he realized that it was a blessing and the best thing that could have happened for us.
2007-03-15 10:05:50 · answer #9 · answered by Star 4 · 2⤊ 4⤋
You need to talk to a marriage counselor. He will continue to postpone it until you can no longer have children unless you take action.
2007-03-15 10:01:36 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋