if you and your boyfriend were not in any way ready to have a child so you are on birth control, but you got?

Question

pregnant anyway, how many of you would have an abortion? by the way, i'm 20 and he's 23, we are just not ready financially and we don't really want the responsibility of a kid! please don't give answers like well then you don't belong having sex...not an option!!! hense my being on birth control (and making sure to take it right).

Answer 1

If it's finances you're worried about, you will never be ready! If you truley are not ready, or simply don't want a child right now, and do not want to consider adoption, maybe abortion is your only option. I made that choice, and it was difficult, but I've never regretted it. I would have riuned a lot of lives if I had chosen any other way. Mine, my boyfriends at the time, and our child, as well as our families who would have probably ended up supporting the child. Now, I have a beautiful, healthy baby boy with my wonderful husband, and the old boyfriend, who ended up being one of my best friends, has 2 beautiful baby girls with his wife. We talk about it sometimes, and at the time he wanted to keep the baby, he thanks me for it now. If you have really thought it through, and that's what is best for you, then you can't listen to anyone else. No on can tell you you'll always regret it, because I don't. I made the most resposible decision I could for everyone involved. I knew I couldn't carry a baby for 9 months and then give it up. Abortion was my only real option. Good luck with YOUR choice, and if you need anymore advice, let me know. Take Care!

Answer 2

I could never have an abortion, period. Even if I felt it was not financially possible. To me, a baby is alive from the moment it's conceived, it's a child and a baby. The baby's heartbeat can be detected as early as ten weeks. Within three months it even looks like a baby. I've heard some people say that a baby isn't human until it's born, that it's just a clump of cells, but even with other beliefs aside, I simply cannot wrap my head around this argument. Genetically, it is a human baby from the moment of conception. It's not like the genes miraculously change at birth. So in my opinion, the fetus is a baby, and an abortion is taking life away from a child before it even has the opportunity to live it.

If you really don't believe you are ready to have a baby and you don't think you can give it a good life, there are other options. There are many people who can't have children who want them and who want to adopt. It can't be easy to carry a child and then give it away, but honestly I think for most people having an abortion can be emotionally difficult, too.

Whatever you do, please do not rush into this decision, and don't let anyone else make the decision for you, especially your boyfriend. I've known people who had abortions because of pressure by boyfriends who weren't ready to be fathers, and then later regretted it. I won't tell you what to do either way (since you wanted to know what we would do), but I will ask you to please make sure that you are certain about any decision you make, and that you know it's your decision.

Answer 3

There are ways to take care of the child.. and no birth control is 100% regardless of how you take it. That is why you both should use something to protect yourselves. And even though you are on birth control.. you should learn when you would normally ovulate. Financially you can support a child if you use medicaid and WIC to help you out. There are many things out there to help you and if you can not handle that.. then you should be woman enough to have the child and give it to a family who would do anything to have a baby and can't. You got pregnant for a reason and I really do not believe it was to have an abortion and kill it.. do you? You are old enough to know how to make ends meet and using an abortion as birth control is not being responsible at all. If you are afraid you can not get all the necessities for the child.. I am currently pregnant and if you are just pregnant.. give me your address and I will send you all the things my child will outgrow before you deliver. Just do not take the life away of that child. I am sorry.. since I was adopted I am very Pro life and can't help it. Good luck in your decisions and I really mean it about sending you things.

Answer 4

I wouldn't get an abortion. Have you considered adoption for your child?

I was on birth control when I got pregnant as well, but things happen.

In any case though, you are both responsible for having this child and in my views the only time abortion is acceptable is in time of rape or when the mothers life is in danger. So in my book you don't qualify for one. So you could carry your child to term, and during the pregnancy go ahead and plan the adoption process, your child can be adopted just a few short hours after you have it by someone if you do it this way.

But, if you feel abortion is your only option, make sure you communicate with your boyfriend about the situation. Also, talk to you family. Consider any religious beliefs you have about the subject and if you consider this murder or not. I mean, when you really think of it, would you have wanted your mom to abort you? I know they are just small and tiny and developing in you but, they are still a human life.

So whatever you chose make sure you take everything into consideration before you make this decision.

Answer 5

I would not have an abortion. I am not against abortion, but it is just not for me in a case like this, and I was in a very similar situation (on the pill) and got pregnant. We have an absolutely amazing son and now I would not change anything.

This very harsh - but you gambled with what you thought was an unbeatable hand and lost. Because you do not like the outcome does not mean you should be able to change the rules.

You and your boyfriend took the 'responsibility' of sex and should look to the 'responsibility' of the outcome. No birth-control is 100%. If the two of you do not believe you can raise this child 'responsibly' I would suggest adoption. Yes I am harsh, but I feel too many people duck their responsibilities to themselves, their families and to the community.

Good luck - you do not have an easy road ahead.

Answer 6

First of all, THEY ARE BABIES and THEY DO FEEL PAIN!!! The embryonic stage ends at 8 weeks into the pregnancy and the fetal stage begins.
How come that nowadays a baby is only a baby when convenient?? If you where to loose a child at lets say 10 weeks, you'd call it your child or your baby!!! Twisted...!!!

I personally would never have an abortion. I was pregnant with my first child when I was 20. It was hard, but we made it!!! There are many, many places that help you out.
If that's not an option, then you should consider adoption. Give the gift of life to your child, and the gift of a child to a couple who will truly love and care for him. Your child deserves the best, wouldn't you want that for him??? Step up and take responsibility for your actions!!!

Answer 7

I am sorry you are pregnant
I tell you what I think
Abortion: I could not have an Abortion. I do not believe I should judge anyone. I do think before one get an abortion they need to know where they think Life begins: Conception? Birth?
Some people have an abortion, and regret it for the rest of their life. Think about the above question, and try to figure out if you are one of those people
You can look into Adoption
I think Adoption is an act of love. A loving mother giving a child to a couple who can not have one of their own. IF you look into adoption, you can change your mind, and keep the baby
Good luck

Answer 8

That is something that no one can tell you how to handle. Have u told him yet?
If I were you, this is what I would do...1.)tell your man 2.)find how he feels about u having an abortion, and if he's ganna pay for it, or help pay 4 it 3.) talk to your parents--maybe they will help you
The first time I found out I was pregnant I thought my parents were ganna kill me, they hated the guy, and the whole situation, but then my mom told me about a week later, that she would help in any way possible
Pray, or meditate on it, talk to your man, and just wait at least a few days until you are sure of whatever decision you make
just remember one thing for me,
whatever you decide, you are no less of a person if you do decide not to keep the baby...
But in the future...please make sure that you protect yourself better, because you don't wanna go through this again, and it does happen, even to the best of us---you're not alone.
good luck to you

Answer 9

Shame on all of you who are calling her dumb, etc. People have premaritial sex- get over it. ZYGOTES and EMBRYOS are NOT babies, and they do not feel pain. As long as the abortion is in te first trimester, it is not killing a human.



I had an abortion when I was 21 and married. We were on birth control, and he always pulled out. I am not sure how it happened, but neither of us felt that we would be good parents. We were still in college and not financially stable. I had an abortion, and I am not the least bit regretful about it. When I get older, I may want chidlren, but I don't think you should have them until you are ready.

Go with your heart. If you are against abortion, you could consider adoption....but that may be harder, as you would have to tell your family, pay for medical care during the pregnancy, grow attached to it, etc.

Answer 10

If it did happen to me in the same situation, I can't really tell you what I would do. Abortion is an option -- and legal this morning when I checked! -- as is adoption.

But what I would do in this case is irrelevant since you really ought not be taking advice on such a serious matter from a bunch of strangers on a website.

If I were your friend -- and, lets face it, a friend is who you really ought to be talking to right now -- I'd hold your hand and tell you that, whatever you decide, I will support you, regardless of my personal beliefs and opinions. And I will do whatever I can to help ease your burden...today and in the future.

You deserve at least that much.

I wish you both peace...and strength in the days to come.