having a baby at the age of 20?

Question

Me and my life partner are ready for children we are 8yrs apart and I just wanted some opinions on having a baby at the age of 20.

Answer 1

I think its a great age if your ready. Your young and healthy. Go for it and good luck!

Answer 2

First, you should have the commitment of MARRIAGE before you plan for children. I know so many women who get pregnant by their bf who they "love more than anything and will be with forever" and when the baby comes and the stress and pressure come, the lack of commitment to the relationship takes its toll and they don't end up together in the end.

There's no "right" age to have a baby. It depends on the person's maturity level. There's negatives and positives for having a child at 20, just as there are for having one at 30 or 40.

Positives would be that you're young, hopefully healthy, getting pregnant and carrying the child should be easier on you, you aren't completely dedicated to a career as you probably just finished hs 2 years ago and it would be easier to quit work to care for the baby.

Negatives at 20 is that you probably haven't been with your HUSBAND for very long, you don't have a lot of life experiences, there's no way you've finished college and obtained a good stable job making a good amount of money- this may not be an issue if your husband is 8 yrs older.

Don't think I'm trying to talk you out of it- I had my kids young.. had my 4th by 23 (and YES, I'm married to their father, who is the same for all 4).

Answer 3

I was 20 when I had my first, 22 when when I had my second, and I am now 25 and 36 weeks pregnant with my third. My husband and I are 9 years apart and have a wonderful marriage. I think 20 is a good age. Just make sure you are prepared financially and mentally. Children can add stress to your life weather or not your prepared for it. Good luck in whatever decision you make.

Answer 4

Only you can know if you're truly ready for a baby. Just keep in mind that every single decision you make from this time on will have to include a child. You can't decide at 9pm on Friday that you want to go out and party. You have to decide on Wednesday so you can find a sitter, and then stay in if they cancel. You can't just take off to go shopping on Saturday afternoon. You have to pack the diaper bag, plan around Baby's nap schedule, and make it back in time to make dinner. A baby can be wonderful and fulfilling if you're ready to make the sacrifice. Also, make sure you are financially able to care for this child on your own. We all think we will be with our partner for life, but things happen. Death and divorce can have devastating effects if you're not prepared. The best thing you can do is to be adequately prepared. Good luck, and when you have your children, cherish them.

Answer 5

Oh Geez...contrary to other opinions you don't need to be married before you have kids. This isn't the 1950's anymore. And marriage is not an automatic "he'll stay with me forever" either. Divorce does happen when people have kids! That being said...it's a personal choice. Studies have shown that the best time to have a baby is between 18-25. That's when your body is the most prepared for it. You need to discuss this with your life partner and decide between the two of you.

Answer 6

some 20 year old are more prepared for babies than some 30 year olds. I am 19 almost 20 and due in 6 weeks and i personally think that i am going to be a better mom than a lot of older people that i know. I live for children:) Just because soemone is 10 years older than you doesn't mean they know more about life than you

Answer 7

I had my son a month before I turned 20. I was nowhere near ready for a baby, but I had no choice. It's hard for my husband and me to get up and go whenever we please, but having our son in our lives is worth it. I'm glad we had him young, though. I know several moms who are in their late 30s with 2 and 3 year olds, and all I can think of to myself is that when I'm that age, we'll be sending our son off to college and having time to ourselves again when all the other 30-something year old moms are waking up for feedings and changing diapers! If the two of you are ready, go for it! Just be prepared for the dramatic change it'll have.

Answer 8

I had my son when I was 17 and have just had my daughter, at 22. I feel I have made the best decision for me. I am glad that I am a young mum. It has grounded me alot and I enjoy taking care of my children. I will be done have children by the time I am 30 and I will be childfree by 50. Awesome.

Answer 9

i did it. it was hard. everyone my age was going out, going to college or getting settled into a career.... i sat at home with a baby. i don't regret my kids at all, i just wish i'd have had more of a chance to get to know who i was and find myself. 20 is young. your body might be ready and at its best for child birth, but you might not have another chance at finding yourself. i learned the hard way. i'm in my 30s, and i'm finding it hard to get into a social life, get settled into a job or career. mind you, if you have a great partner and a tight family that you can trust to help you with babysitting and such, you might be ok with having a baby that young. i wish you all the luck in the world... kids are wonderful... you just gotta make sure you're strong enough inside and ready before you become a parent.

Answer 10

There is no age when you are "ready". You are never ready till the little one is here and your life is transformed. Be it 16, 20 (or I was 24) my friend was 35....motherhood changes EVERYTHING. Now if you enjoy going out and being social, I would put it off a few more years and try to enjoy your early twenties. I have no regrets.

Answer 11

if it's the right time for the two of you I don't think age matters .
I had just turned 20 when my husband and I decided to start trying ... I'm now 21 with a 2 and half month old baby boy and I couldn't be happier