Hi guys... well me and my man of 6 years are very close to getting married. We're not married yet due to some financial issues and with us getting our lives established for a while. Anyway, I feel like I had to coax him into getting married to me. He said he already was going to marry me but was waiting until he got his full time job. He says he wants to, and talks about it everyday.
Well... lately I don't know. He's been text messaging a lot.. he doesn't let me read the messages.. he deletes them.. When I ask him about it, he said his best friend is giving him advice on something and it has to do with me, and that I will like it a lot.
What do y'all think? I've never had a reason not to trust him.. but isn't this weird?
2007-03-15 01:40:46 · 18 answers · asked by annie s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When I say... "Tell me what he's giving you advice about?" He will say, "No.. then it wouldn't be a surprise, and I want you to like this.." Maybe it's an engagement ring?
Also.. When I ask him, "I think your being sneaky, are you?" and he'll say... "Why would I text a girl right in front of you?"
Confused
2007-03-15 01:41:58 · update #1
Check the phone bill and see if by that you can figure out who he is actually texting. If it is his buddy, drop it. If not, then you can raise a stink.
Good Luck!
2007-03-15 01:45:03 · answer #1 · answered by Jo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess I would suggest that you wait and see. It could be that he is doing exactly what he's saying he's doing. If you get a big surprise soon then you'll know. Either way I think I would tell him what this is doing to you. Tell him you don't want to know the surprise, you just want to be reassured that you are his only. Tell him his recent activity is making you paranoid, and ask him to help you with it.
I get the sneaking suspicion that you are walking on eggshells around this guy. That's no way to live. You can't exist in this relationship afraid to make a peep for fear that it will scare him off. It's okay to be a bit tough at times. This is one of those times - you're talking about your future!!
2007-03-15 08:58:38 · answer #2 · answered by Dino 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's cheating, there would be other clues besides that. If there aren't, he's probably being straight with you. You will know in time anyway because if he really is trying to surpise you, you will eventually get a surprise. Let it go for now, but if nothing occurs, then maybe ask him about it again. It wouldn't hurt to check the phone bill for peace of mind though.
2007-03-15 08:53:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
GEEZ, are you going to hound him your whole married life? Has he given you reason to not trust him? Why are you trying to second guess, an engagement ring???...hold up will you before you lose this guy, what a pain in the butt your going to be as a wife. Give the guy some slack until he proves different.....
2007-03-15 09:02:51 · answer #4 · answered by brown eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say if he is doing it in front of you it is nothing to worry about. Maybe it is a surprise. I never knew that my fiance had even went and looked at rings much less already picked it out and ordered it for me until we got out of town and he asked me to marry him. So maybe he is planing some romantic get away like mine did and then propose. Mine was all a surprise. Give it some time.
2007-03-15 08:47:00 · answer #5 · answered by gizmo0013 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are reading into something that is not there.He is probably trying to surprise you with a ring or something.Stop over-reacting you will ruin the sweet surprise he is trying to give to you.Trust is everything in a relationship/marriage without trust you have nothing.Men in general are private and sometimes they do get advice from other male friends just as us women talk to eachother for advice without our mates.
2007-03-15 08:54:14 · answer #6 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
trust is the number one issues in relationships. that being said, if even if he is texting his best friend, he should let you see some of the messages before deleting them. i would check your bills, and look for any unusual phone numbers, that are called frequently, do a reverse number look up. or even call the number yourself. i wish you the best of luck, and i hope all this has something do with him popping the question.
2007-03-15 08:59:37 · answer #7 · answered by jdchick48 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your predicament based on the fact that there should be no secrets between you but the fact remains that even if he is having a fling and you get to know what would you do?
Console yourself with the fact that he would be your own eventually and do not be too nosy ok. This might drive him into the hands of the other person and you will lose out. Just keep on beeing whom you have always been to him.
2007-03-15 08:51:33 · answer #8 · answered by comradechris 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I understand your concern especially given the circumstances. However, nothing in your question suggest that you have any reason to suspect he is untrustworthy. Unless you have something more concrete to confront him with then I would trust him and just be patient. If he his lying to you confronting him with suspicions will only make him more careful and unfaithful. If he is telling the truth then you will diminish his joy (and yours) by badgering him. In either scenario, it is better for you to trust his words (or try to) and to see what happens next. Good luck to you (I believe it is a ring).
2007-03-15 08:48:52 · answer #9 · answered by David 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the best freind might be him. if he has to be coaxed or told what to do by a freind he sounds like a loser. i do not want to hurt your feelings , but maybe you are to nice a person. some people take this and us e you. i know first hand. sometimes marriage is the kiss of death. being with him six tears it will go south on you. i am trying to be nice but i have been their and done it
2007-03-15 08:50:34 · answer #10 · answered by Knows it all 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, if he is trying to surprise you, you will find out all in due time....try not to keep badgering him about it.
He's never given you cause to be suspicious in the past and I don't know why you are now.
Look in other areas of your lives together.....have there been any major changes in his behaviour? If not, then I think you maybe grasping at straws.
2007-03-15 08:48:28 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋