My sister has a 2 years old girl and just had a new baby boy and the girl is really sweet but she throws things at her brother and holds him hard. My sister is a very patient mother and tries to talk with her girl and plays all the time with her. but she doesnt take the girl out these days because she is breastfeeding and the little boy needs milk 24/7. she doesnt want to try bottle milk. what can be done to protect the little boy and calm the girl down. knowing she was naughty even before the boy came to life. pls advise
2007-03-15 01:33:25 · 8 answers · asked by kate07 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
The little girl is needing some extra positive attention because she is feeling like her whole world just got turned upside down.
Mom needs to talk to her about what it was like when the little girl was a baby. What she liked and didn't like. How she nursed. Show her pictures of when she was a baby. Tell her about when she was first at home with mom.
Read stories about new babies. Maybe you could pick some up at the library for her. Keep a basket of books near her "nursing station" and read to big sis while she nurses baby. If holding the book is complicated, let big sis do it and tell her when to turn the page.
Mom should talk about "gentle touches" and how the baby LIKES it when big sis touches him genlty. Practice this whenever they can.
Give the little girl a baby doll she can care for when mom is caring for the new baby.
Involve big sis in caring for baby to make her feel important. Let her help pick his clothes. Have her bring mom a diaper, bib, burp cloth, wipes, socks, hat, etc. Have her sing to baby or hold his hand while mom changes him. Let her wind up the mobile or shake a toy for him. Stress how much he LIKES it when she does these things for him. Stress how BIG she is to do this stuff. Talk about all the things she can do that they baby can't do.
Get mom some puppets or take some old socks and make some. Puppets are a WONDERFUL "couch bound" activity for a nursing mom with a toddler to occupy. One hand to hold and care for baby and one hand to play puppets with big sibling. Playing with little plastic figures (like Sesame Street guys) works well too. My kids would play hide and seek with them under my Boppy pillow.
Sit in the floor to nurse with her back against the couch/wall/side of the bed. Then she can be more involved with daughter, playing blocks, doing puzzles, etc.
Put a table near mom's nursing station with playdough, coloring stuff, easy puzzles, etc. so mom can reach to help. Also, keep snacks that the toddler can easily get on her own and are OK for her to have. Prefill sippy cups with water and leave them around for her.
Big sis needs some focused one-on-one time doing an activity of her choice every day while baby naps. Even 15 minutes can make a HUGE difference!
2007-03-15 01:44:02 · answer #1 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Surely your sister can spare half an hour or so outside the house with the 2 children. A walk to the local park or just around the block. It will do everyone the world of good.
Most new infants have at least 3 hours between feeds. I'd say the little girl is going stir-crazy, being locked inside 24/7.
She's also missing being the centre of her Mother's world, the little one is getting all the attention. Possibly the only time she gets attention is when she's naughty. Positive reinforcement is the key. It's tough having 2 little ones both needing you, I hope your sister is getting positive reinforcement too.
All toddlers do not beat up their new siblings.
2007-03-15 08:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's normal. All toddlers do that to their new sibling. The wrong thing to do would be to spank the toddler, then she will learn to hit her brother more AND she'll hate the baby and the mother for taking sides.
The toddler should be patiently taught, but completely supervised to avoid injury to baby until the baby is 1 or 1.5 years old. The mom could use a little help in keeping the toddler busy, so offer to watcg her daughter or play with her. She use to be the center of the world and now is taking a back seat to a little ball of baby blubber! ;o) She's mad and must be gently reassured of her good standing with the family.... Many many times.
2007-03-15 08:40:37 · answer #3 · answered by TJTB 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All siblings go through sibling rivalry. Its hard to share parents at that age and they express in different ways. jealousy starts at a very young age. the parents have to make time to spend with the girl alone, show her she is equally important by taking her out by turns, reading and playing with her. Also involve her in taking care of the baby - bring in diapers, help during bath, by giving shampoo, towels etc. Give the baby to her occasionally like lying the baby on her lap with supervision for some minutes, make her feel as an important person
2007-03-15 08:51:40 · answer #4 · answered by s g 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The 2 year old is probably jealous cause she is no longer the baby,but mom needs to really watch out of the things she does to baby,cause newborns are so fragile one dangerous blow can be fatal.So she just needs to be extra careful and don't leave baby around the toddler alone.
2007-03-15 09:00:18 · answer #5 · answered by Lin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like the girl needs a spanking, then she calmly needs to be told that doing that to her baby brother can kill him (it can, holding a child too hard can rupture something and potentially kill him) or reword it and say 'hurt him really bad'. Then someone needs to take the girl OUT OF THE HOUSE! she might just be bored so make play dates, seek a daycare center where she can play and do normal things, then when she comes home she won't be so inclined to hurting her brother. also she just might be feeling like he's getting all the attention from everybody and needs to feel like she's still part of the family. but whatever you do, don't let her continue beating on her brother, it will have BIG consequences.
2007-03-15 08:42:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Depending on what exactly she does to him, yes it can be dangerous!! The mom needs to make some time for her daughter too, then these feelings may disappear. She can take her for a walk, I'm sure he's not attached every minute of the day. Cuddling with her, just paying some alone attention to her might do wonders.
2007-03-15 08:37:34 · answer #7 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she probably feel jealous that she has a new brother. She has to control the situation now, or else when she keeps growing up, shell get out of control.
2007-03-15 08:36:59 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_chick_21 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋