how do you deal/cope with a conspiracy against you, where your being ostracised and no one wants to no you?

Question

because thats the way its seems. every message i leave for somebody i like on my space. a girl. nobody is gettin back to me. and its making me jealous and furious. i just leave standard, friendly messages to girls i like the look of. explaining that im looking to meet new friends and would they fancy a chat.....nothing to heavy, but i get noo replies. im 29, social isolated, with no social connections, im waiting for assesment for borderline personality disorder. but i dont mention this to any of em...im at a complete loss at what to do...ive also been with the website plentyoffish.com for a year, but i get no responses off there either. i feel, angry, frustrated and desperate now. my photos are on both of the sites, so itsstartin to feel personal now. i dont want anyone to feel sorry for me or treat me like a charity case. i just wanna no what i can do here?? im 29, have very little confidence with girls, dont like the way im ageing, but its not like im putting all that accross

Answer 1

Maybe you are looking for friends in the wrong place.
Cyberspace is not always the friendliest place and is often full of vacuous self obsessed people.
Get off the computer, go join a club, library, go to work, the park, the pub, just get out and interact with real people, your Mrs Right is out there!!

Answer 2

I understand your frustration but there's no conspiracy. Don't let this make you paranoid cause if you go there you'll really become unattractive. Somethings in life take more time than others. Be patient and try different ways to meet people.

You mentioned you're socially isolated. Is this by choice or a medical issue? If it's by choice why do you choose this? You also mentioned that you're waiting for an assessment on a possible personality disorder, I take it then that you're seeing a psychiatrist. That's good, why don't you discuss different strategies to meet people.

Whatever you do don't start seeing yourself as an outcast or undesirable. As people we tend to act on what we believe and you'll act undesirable if you think you are. I know it's hard to resist but don't focus on the negative aspects of your life. Take hold of the good and let your thoughts dwell on that. If there isn't much good now starting thinking about things you can do to make your life better and do it.

Making life better doesn't consist of one great event that happens or one great person that comes into your life. It's all the little things combined. Make small but good choices for yourself everyday and you'll reap the rewards. The same is true for the opposite, make bad choices and you'll be reaping the crap you choose as well.

I really wish you well. Good luck with everything.

Answer 3

You're looking to find a social life in the virtual world, where people absolutely do judge you on your ability to type well, express your entire being on a webpage, and on a two dimensional photograph.

My advice? Get out there and join some sort of social group. How about something like a scriptwriting circle? Something where there's more to discuss than avatars and that also includes a little self expression?

Answer 4

I am sure there is no conspiracy against you. Have you tried dating sites, there people are lloking for the same thing as you. Also try to get out and socialise more, this will help your confidence.

Answer 5

hi i am on plentyoffish and i have only met two men for a short while and one was very abusive and my frined met a man off their he slept with her and dumped her so dont, take it personally, and tis si the net work on your confidance and get out places self confidance never came to anyone on a plate it comes by trying read the overcoming series by experts in cognitive therapy. www.robinsonbooks.org

Answer 6

Your personality disorder probably has a lot to do with why you seem unappealing to communicate with. Once you are diagnosed, and have the proper medication, you will be more confident and congenial.

Answer 7

if u are leaving scary looking photos or wierd "avatars" like the one you ve got on now , that could be a reason to scare them away .

Answer 8

Well your avatar on here is quite horrible
Do you have an avatar on my space, is your picture friendly ??

Answer 9

Why not prowl the streets

Answer 10

you need to see a shrink. fast.

maybe some drugs will help, like prozac.