I'm 28 years old. I have been with my fiance for 6 years. We have a 2 year old daughter and another due in the summer. We plan to marry by the end of the month. Lately I have lost attraction to her and haven't been enjoying myself in the bedroom with her either. It may have to do with that fact that I have met someone from my past. this other woman and I have been dating now for almost 6 mos. We seem to have so many things in common and have a great time while we're out. I am very attracted to this "other woman" and lately I have noticed that I really care for her! I think all the feelings I have towards her are developing into love. She knows about the baby on the way and the soon to be wife at home...but stills wants to be with me; and me with her.
I dont know what to do in this situation. I have almost considered calling off the wedding and running away with this woman. my heart and emotions are just all messed up.
Anyone have any idea what to do in a situation like this?
2007-03-14 22:33:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anthony 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
might be best to postpone the wedding while you get your head sorted. dont do anything rash - dont tell your fiancee its over - just think up something to delay or postpone. you dont really seem to know what u want. you're not even sure if u love this other woman - maybe she is just a distraction from the stress in your life? u need to be really sure. your fiancee may be upset at the postponement, but its a hell of lot better than getting married to someone who doenst want to marry u. it will inevitably end badly if u go into it with any misgivings and feelings for another. perhaps u shld tell yr fiancee that u are having doubts - youve been togther for six yrs you have a family together and she is carrying yr second child - she deserves some honesty, even if u cant bring yoursefl to tell her about the other woman yet. you should really cool it with the other woman - take a few months out (at least six months ideally - no contact at all) to work on your relationship with your fiancee and see thru the birth of your child. without the influence/atraction/distraction of the other woman being around it will help u realise where your heart really lies. she may even find someone else. six months is no time. if she's not prepared to wait she's not worth it. but u need to get your head sorted and just do the right thing for everyone. if u dont love yr fiancee then dont insult her by marrying her.
good luck.
x
2007-03-14 22:44:35 · answer #1 · answered by third space 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not get married! A postponment won't help if you're not feeling attracted to your fiance anymore or don't want her and despite what some of these other peole have said marrying your wife even though you may have feelings for another woman will not help anything and certainly will not make you a 'man" that would make you a heartless coward to do that to the mother of your children to enter into this pretense of a marriage if it is not done whole heartedly while she has these rose colored glasses on all the while your wanting out. you can still take care of your kids and not have to be with the mother this, is not back in the old days. Although I do feel as though you are selfish, and unrepentant. And the girl on the side is questionable too for wanting to be with you even though it will destroy a family. You both obviously entertained the idea if you even let yourself talk on that kind of level when you knew you had a fiance' and one kid and another on the way. if you don't want to be with your fiance anymore tell her honestly and don't carry on like you still do and hurt her more.
2007-03-15 06:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by latrece 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you see that if you had chosen not to start seeing this 'other woman' 6 months ago and focused on your relationship with your fiance (and mother of your children, may I add!) that you wouldn't be in this situation?
What should you do? You should break it off with this 'other woman' and get back on track with your fiance. So what if you've not been having a good time in the bedroom with her...you don't deserve too since you've chosen to cheat on her!
Think about it...if you weren't thinking about someone else, or enjoying the feelings of a new relationship, you'd probably feel very happy with your fiance and be enjoying yourself with her. How dare you think that it's okay to have a child with someone, get her pregnant again, make the commitment of planning a wedding and then start dating someone else!
It's shameful, and if you are a real man, you'll do the right thing and break if off with this other woman and choose to commit yourself 100% to your family. And what kind of woman would get involved with a man who already has a family anyway? You'll get bored of her after the newness of the relationship wears off, I guarantee it.
I hope you make the right decision.
2007-03-15 06:46:07 · answer #3 · answered by emay02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, slow down, You are not being fair to anyone here. Anytime love,& romance is new, it seems to be it. You are involved with this other women for the wrong reasons and finding excuses to stayed involved. So she good in bed and your attracted to her. Big Deal!
You have so much more at home and been at home for 6yrs. She there for more than looking good and pleasing you in bed. She has been your friend, your lover, the mother of children ,been there for good and bad times, comforted you and loved you,.
You never mention that you didn't love her.or have no feelings for her. But by your actions, I guess you don't.
Its a decision that will change your life forever and I hope you take some time with yourself , before you change all of their lives,your family. I am a true believer, that we all have the right to be happy, What is happy to you. What are your goals, what do you want in life. What important to you as man.
2007-03-15 06:20:20 · answer #4 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call off the wedding, you certainly aren't wanting to marry this woman for love and if you do marry her then it will be a lie cause you have already cheated on her with this new "old" woman. You both need to know the truth of your hearts and your commitments or lack of.
2007-03-15 06:01:45 · answer #5 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this other woman might bring u joy atm, but u have a daughter and another child, and u owe to them because they both deserve to have a father. I dont hav my father and it has been very sad for me because u feel so empty. i don think ur children deserve to have this empty feeling inside of them because it will effect them for the rest of their lives. Ur finace is the mother of ur children, this other woman may be attrative in ways, but ur fiance is ur partner for life. I think that u should end ur relationship with this other woman and make ur life with ur fiance and family, because thats what matters the most. U may regret in the future pursuing a relationship with this other other woman, because if it all falls to pieces, u would have rejected the best things life has to offer. u would have thrown away ur fiance/wife, ur relationship with ur children will be affected, ur family would have been torn apart and u will end up realising what u have lost. dont make that mistake, its not worth in the end. and please think of ur children, because they are the ones that will be affected by ur decision the most.
2007-03-15 05:41:40 · answer #6 · answered by sweet&spicy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
commit yourself to an institution-you need help. you're 28 and still playing a kid's game, who the hell cares what you '2 seem to have in common' why is she a loser too? get your wife to the store and start picking out baby furniture together, be a man. be there for the family you made!
2007-03-15 05:39:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing for certain do yourself and your fiance' a favor and do not go through with this marriage. If you cannot be true and stay by her side then save yourselves the trouble of it failing and having to get a divorce from one another.
-NmD!
2007-03-15 05:40:14 · answer #8 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are dating someone else..DO NOT GET MARRIED. It's not fair to the woman you're going to marry, it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to the children. Try a trial seperation. Be honest with both women. Good luck.
2007-03-15 05:41:03 · answer #9 · answered by zil28ennov 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't deserve either one of them...
You have no regard for their feelings and seems to me you only think about yourself
2007-03-15 05:41:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋