Why is it said so?

Question

i dunno about other cultures but why is it said so in indian culture 'betiya paraya dhan hoti hai' or in english 'a daughter is always somone elses property'??

star: my parents don't think like that :)

Answer 1

finally..something i actually know..lol..

ok, spydery...i'm sure you've heard this phrase a thousand times...there's a very interesting and disturbing confliction in our society..where at one hand women are equted to godesses and worshipped and on the other hand they are (still) seen as the male's property...to do as he pleases(and this male could be anybody from father or brother to husband)....so, when women become a part of property or dhan..it is upo the person who owes (that's so disgusting) 'it' to dispose of his property as he pleases...why do you think during marriage the father of the bride still performs 'kanyadaan'...daan as in a gift...he's giving a gift, a )part of his property) to another male...

and since marriage is considered as the ultimate goal of a women's life.. hence...paraya dhan...someone else's property....(i'm about to throw up at this point)

hope i made it clear and not confused you further... :)

edit:
what star is saying is true too...she is talking about actual experiences, and the love that parents have for their daughters..don't get me wrong...i understand and respect my elder's view...what i explained in my answers was the actual process bu which this phrase came into existence.... in many parts of india they are still very bad...things are changing now..but we do need to know nad understand where we are coming from...how things were and how cultural pattens evolve...it has actual historical roots..women were considered a part of property..and still are..

Answer 2

Hey! it is not as bad as being portrayed. By dhan, daughters are not being treated as property but they are like wealth......the prized possession.
Now before I write about this, I'll first talk about parents. For parents nothing matters more than their kids...which u'll understand only when u'll be a parent. Trust me, u really never know how it feels to be a parent till u actually become a parent.When I was pregnant, I wanted to have a daughter but in the later stages what was important was baby's health, be it a girl/boy.
Next, coming to cultures.......all the cultures/civilizations made some rules, customs etc during the process of evolution which had some logic to them. These logics now seem lost or misunderstood.
Now coming back to ur query...It is our Indian culture that once grown up girls get married & go with the groom to build their own home. We really cant compare Indian culture with US/UK/Aussie's culture. They have their own shortfalls. And in Indian culture if one daughter goes then another comes back as daughter-in-law.Parents know they have to let go their daughter one day so they prepare themselves & the girl mentally & emotionally from the beginning so that it gets easier for the daughter to leave them & start a new life.
Never easy for the parents.....however much they pretend. I know parents can always talk about this but it will only make parting harder for both the parties.
Another thing, a husband might see his wife as a property but parents will never. I know there are some places in India where daughters are considered to be a burden but then its about people who have daughters but can't step up to be parents.
Dont get all these wrong.........try to understand the real meaning & even if we dont agree, remember we cant change the thinking of Indian parents overnight. They have been brought up like that. Only remedy is avoid doing it ourself .

Spydery, that 'you' is for general not specifically for you. I didn't mean it for your parents & as I said parents never think that way........they are wonderful . I have made the corrections. Sorry about that.........trust me.......I mean it .

Answer 3

Well, I've read a bit abt ur culture n learned here from ♥'s excellent answer....but I'm not too qualified to understand how it is there....but this view is very universal, and has been a disgusting mindset for centuries everywhere...and of course in countries 2day women are seen as property...as less than human.

Many times women were married to someone to gain political power or to ensure ties between families...that's all the women were for: to be married off to some old wrinkly dude for some kind of gain or bargain...and they had no say in this matter.

Females had no rights, no voice, no nothing...they were(and still are seen in some places) as to be no more than cattle to be given as a gift or as the male decides.

This type of thinking is really beyond me.

Answer 4

Kyonki in other western cultures even "bete bhi apne dhan nahi hote". In countries like USA and UK once the parents are finished with their child's study the child takes his own course and settles separately. And that gives rise to so many in consistencies like Father loving sons girl friend and likewise. And never be sure, our country is also slow but steadily following the same culture and in many a families these days you will find that both beta or beti are "paraya dhan".
SHARAT JAIN

Answer 5

All around the world, most of the women leave their homes after marraige. This is more common in India. Indians realize this fact very well that some day their daughter will have to move. They prepare themselves and their daughters by constantly reminding themselves about the sure future.

All the best...

:-)

Answer 6

The real meaning is not what you think. It is an advise to the parents not to think and take daughter as their property because they gave birth and sale her wherever they like. Marriage is a gift of daughter to her in-laws because instead of helping her own parents she would help in-laws for the rest of her life. Formerly in the true tradition parents of bride were more honored than that of groom. Unfortunately uncultured in-laws don't like the obligation, that's pity.

Answer 7

Paraya dhan that slogan is centuries back .not at present . now the girl has be com more efficient that son . now son has become paraya .years before girl has to do all house hold work .and parents has to save money to give them gold and dowary .so they were finding difficult to education to both son and daughter.

Answer 8

In India, when you get married it is arranged. So basiclly the parents lose there daughter. I know in America when a girl marries a guy, the girl takes the guy's last name. In India, once the girl changes her last name the realtives feel like that they lost a family member.

Answer 9

Only when a daughter is declared and specified as someone's 'property' she will be well taken care of by the man to whom she is wedded to, as nobody in this material world can afford to ignore or underestimate the value of a propery.

Answer 10

It is rule created by the Mighty man.Might is right.
Education is changing it gradually though slowly.