I'm 16 (17 in two months) For a few years, I've been talking to and being interested in older guys. Anyway, I met this guy (lets call him Bob) who is really nice and tall. Only problem is that he is 21. We started hanging out and ended up dating. He's my boyfriend right now and I love him with all my heart. Well, we had sex; twice. I lost my virginity to him. That was on a Tuesday and then again on that Friday (we used condoms f.y.i). Well, I have a friend (lets call him Joe) where there was no sexual attraction at all. We got together on that following Sunday night. Long story short, he raped me. No condom, but he didnt come inside me. It was spurr of the moment thing and he definatley regrets it. Lets just ignore that for now. Problem is....my parents found out. We thought I was pregnant so i went on this Plan B thing. I dno if it worked or not, but I know I usually have my period by now, but havnt. I have an appointment, but scared out of my mind. I don't want my mom to go. Help me!
2007-03-14 21:15:00 · 12 answers · asked by halogrl90 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
I know its weird that I've had sex but dont want anybody touching me. But it's true. I don't want my mom to go with me, but I have no one else to go with. Plus, my parents are not letting me see my boyfriend ever again. I have no life and its like i'm under house arrest. I can't even go to the bathroom without my mom or dad standing by the door (i cant even close the door) (well duh they wont look, but you get the point) Anyway, they're saying i have depression (i do) and they are worried about my mental health, but keeping me away from him is making it worse. And besides....if he's the father (which he prolly isnt since hes the one that was using the condom) he should know, and we should be able to be together. Oh, and my parents are completely ignoring the whole rape thing and focusing on the illegal boyfriend. STUPID. But anyhow, I want him to be there, but I don't think that is possible. He's willing, but my paretns wont allow it and will teh staff? Please help!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-14 21:20:30 · update #1
the reason i mentioned the rape so casually was that because thats not really the important part of the question. Just that it was unprotected. And for the record, he felt so bad that he went to the police station and told them.
I know my mom wants to be there, but I don't want her to be. It's bad enough that I have to go through it, but for my mom to be ther is just making it worse. I want my boyfriend to be there. He loves me. He really does. I know it's hard to understand, but there are things he has done for me that really prove he does. Plus, he is willing to wait. He is so supportive of me.
Oh, about the Plan B. You're supposed to take it within 72 hours of having the sex....i took it like...80+ hours after. But still. My bf said regarless if it's his or the other guys, he'll be there for me. After the Sunday night incident, i ran to him crying...he put me in his car, wrapped me in his jacket, drove to my house and carried me to the door. He was willing to be arrested.
2007-03-14 21:37:28 · update #2
for the record...it was the 18 year old that kinda raped me...not the 21 year old
2007-03-15 08:34:46 · update #3
If you were raped you need to report it. It's very easy to say you are sorry and not mean it; regardless, what he did was wrong and he needs to seek help before he does it to someone else.
You are too young to be sexually active because there are consequences with having sex. Pregnancy, STD's, etc... nothing can protect you from things 100% except for not having sex at all. At your age, and with your current fear... it should be obvious to you that you are too young to handle these things. I can't figure out why you are mentioning both guys, something seems a little off here. Are you suggesting you don't know who the father is?
Your mom should go with you. I know at your age you feel as if you mother is too judgemental and maybe nags a little too much. I felt the same way as a teen, but I have a 4 year old now and I know that from a mother's point of view it's just scary having your child grow up because you know they will make mistakes but you just honestly want to help prevent any mistakes that will hurt your child... we have an instinct to protect our children and that comes in a way that might seem too harsh to our child sometimes. Your mom needs to come but ask her to please remain calm for your sake and remind her that you need her still and will always need her and love her and you hope that she feels the same way.
I just saw your additional information: Your parents are only worried about your. If you have depression and are going through this really rough time, they just want to help you through it... something bad happening to your child is the worst thing in the world. Try to see things from their view point and if this older guy really loves you then he will wait around until you are of legal age to see him. No matter what, hang in there because "This too shall pass."
2007-03-14 21:26:32 · answer #1 · answered by 2007 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know how scary this stuff can be, when i was sixteen i myself was raped by my boyfriend who was 20, my parents did not know that he was that old and i was somewhere that i was not supposed to be. I did not tell anyone other then my closet friend but i wish to god i would have because i still feel sick to my stomach everytime i think about him getting away with taking away my virginity like that. I know that i was really stupid it was but people tend to forget that we are young and that we are bound to make bad mistakes so people can say what they want to but it does not make the rape any less tragic. But i spent that whole month worrying about being pregnant and they didn't have plan b back then. I'm just thankful that i wound up not being pregnant. I am a mother now and i can tell you that if this ever happened to my daughter i would probably flip out myself. I wouldn't be as strict about it as your parents are but in their own way they are just watching out for your emotional well being. Plan B is very effective so i wouldn't worry to much about being pregnant. I hope everything works out ok for you.
2007-03-15 07:44:38 · answer #2 · answered by Brandi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing right now is to get some kind of control back for YOURSELF. If you can call 1 800 656 HOPE (for RAINN), they take anonomous calls 24/7. Talk with them about the rape, or about what you can do. If you need to, go to the ER, there since you are 16, almost 17, they probably will respect your wishes (assuming if you want a rape kit done). If not, talk to the people at RAINN about finding a low cost couneclor. If possible, have them talk to your mom, to tell her that it is a big deal that you need to deal with. You do not need to bring up the maybe pregnancy issue right now.
Get help for yourself first.
My thoughts are with you, hun.
2007-03-14 21:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by crzylizzi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had a 16 year old daughter that needed to be seen by an OB/GYN (or any dr for that matter) I would want to be in the room with her to hear what the dr said, and also to try to help my daughter understand what the dr said if she had questions later.
As for the issue of age and can you go alone we had a question like this a couple days ago under this category and for many OB/GYNs in a number of States (one must check their State) you have to be 18 to go in by yourself.
I know you are scared about this appt but your mom really should be there especially since this is a first appt, and I know she's going to want to be there as well although you don't want her there.
2007-03-14 23:27:13 · answer #4 · answered by sokokl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh look 2 counts of statutory rape and one regular rape....Looks like both of these guys are going to jail....Oh and id advise you not to sleep with either of them when they get out of jail- I dare say they are both going to be very popular boys on the inside....And 6 of 10 have a communicable disease (Aids or Hep- both death sentences)....
As for your mom going to the docs with you and you not wanting the docs to check you out....Your mom has seen ya naked before and the dont worry the doctors and nurses wont get off on seeing you naked- naked is nothing new to the medical profession- your too busy getting the work done to stop and admire the view....
I feel sorry for you hun its such a pity that these things happen. Good luck at the doctors.
2007-03-14 22:10:54 · answer #5 · answered by naughtiest_nurse_of_em_all 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my! wow i'm so sorry to hear all this. Okay from what you say, if you took plan B your more then likely to NOT get pregnant. especially if he didn't come inside you. and if you used condoms with the other man then you should for sure be safe. I have taken plan b before. the trick is to take it asap from the unprotected sex. I really do not think you are pregnant. good luck to you
2007-03-14 21:20:57 · answer #6 · answered by princess1226 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Plan B will mess with your cycle big time. Don't worry that you are pregnant just yet. Take a deep breath, relax, and go to your appointment to find out more. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
As for your mom not going......I'm not sure how to answer that. I would want to go with my daughter.
Good luck, sweetie, and I'm sorry this happened to you. You will survive and overcome this place in your life. Be strong.
2007-03-14 21:22:38 · answer #7 · answered by Mrs.Fine 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry but i have to be blunt this is why i despise the world i find this disgusting women always brag of how they mature faster than men but yet they are alway naive enogh to fall for these type of men's lines and act just so they can acheive the one thing and only thing on their mind and that's getting this girl into bed as fast as possible. I've got nothing else to say but think about your actions next time.
2007-03-14 21:24:53 · answer #8 · answered by JOhNe=mc² 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you were raped, you should tell the police. The virginity story is irrelevant.
If your mom knows, then why not take her with you to the doctor?
Plan B is quite effective, so high probability is you are not pregant.
2007-03-14 21:20:38 · answer #9 · answered by ignoramus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if was rape u need to do something about it...ie counseling and legal action...ive been there. u need to stop him from hurting someone else. if ur older bf loves u he will WAIT. i was in that situation and he waited till i was legal and emotionally ready and am now in life long relationshi with him.
2007-03-14 21:25:20 · answer #10 · answered by . 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋