I met a girl at a friends wedding about a month ago - she seemed really positive and fun and we talked a bit (mostly about her) and i notice she kept sitting next to me, coming outside when I was..etc
she crossed my mind a few times since then so I got her number from my friends new wife, and gave her a call. She was driving at the time so I told her I'd call her back in 15 but she didn't answer. i text her to say i don't understand what i said in the matter of minutes to make her ignore me and that i would take it as if she is having a bad day... she text me back to let me know she was having a bad day and that she would be free the next day should i wish to call. i called 5 days later at end of the week but no answer. she text me a few days later apologising, & she was having it hard and busy with work, but saying i should call her sometime during the day. considering the trends so far i am no fool - she will not answer.
2007-03-14 21:11:25 · 9 answers · asked by tripppah 3 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
why is her excuse what I suggest?
why ask to call back - is it just to be nice?
what the hell went on?
2007-03-14 21:12:23 · update #1
"She was driving at the time so I told her I'd call her back in 15 but she didn't answer. i text her to say i don't understand what i said in the matter of minutes to make her ignore me and that i would take it as if she is having a bad day".
#1- You became automatically defensive by assuming YOU did something to MAKE her ignore you.
#2- Instead of letting her take personal responsibility for ignoring your call, you instead put words in her mouth. You 'told' her she was having a bad day. You made excuses for her as a defense against having to feel rejected. At the same time, it gave her an excuse to use on you for why she didn't return your call. "she text me back to let me know she was having a bad day". Get it?
Next part...
"said she would be free the next day should i wish to call. i called 5 days later"
You played a game. What then did you expect? She said she'd be available the "next" day, not 5 days later. Why did you wait? Let me guess...you wanted her to think you really didn't care all that much. A man tried that on me once, and he never heard from me again. Why? Because, it was a shining example of manipulation, which was a big red flag for me. Head games tell a big story.
Next part......
"she text me a few days later apologising, & she was having it hard and busy with work, but saying i should call her sometime during the day".
So, you either call her when she's available or you continue to play power games. If she doesn't answer your call, then simply move on.
"considering the trends so far i am no fool" -
Are you sure? Because from the get go you've BOTH demonstrated a lack of respect for each other, and are more preoccupied with head games than actually becoming acquainted.
Stay real.
EDIT:
1)"why is her excuse what I suggest"?
You supplied her the exuse and she used it - it was an easy way for her to keep you hanging while she pondered whether or not she was interested in dating you.
2)"why ask to call back - is it just to be nice"?
No. She was fine with phone calls but still pondering whether or not she wanted to date you.
3)"what the hell went on"?
You interroagated her in regards to why she didn't answer the first call. Then, you became defensive and wanted to know what 'you' did wrong while at the same time telling her why she did what she did. When you talked to her again, she said she would be available to talk the next day - but you waited 5 days instead.
To sum it up, I'm afraid you didn't show enough self-confidence or genuine interest in her. Your fear of rejection got in the way.
If you find yourself in this scenario again, where a woman doesn't answer your call simply leave this message:
"Hi Jane, I'm calling you back as I said I would... sorry I missed you. If you'd like, give me a shout anytime. Take care."
There, no pressure for either of you. If she calls, great! If not, then let it go and move on.
2007-03-15 00:42:00 · answer #1 · answered by Rain 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
she is just trying to be nice. sorry. sometimes people get ultra friendly at weddings but it doesnt mean anything, esp if they are drinking. even if she did like you, just forget it. if thats the case, she is a flake with some mental issues. she is not ready for a relationship or anything. after three phone calls, just stop calling. any more than that is kind of weird. take care.
2007-03-14 21:21:15 · answer #2 · answered by wcarolinew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
reasons possibly are:
A-she's not really interested but enjoys a little attention
B-she could be having a bad time at work or elsewhere that she doesn't feel that she can get in a relation at that time
C-she probably met someone that she s interested in and trying to make up her mind
D- could be THAT time of the month.
give her sometime then try again if you are really interested in her, chances are :
-that she made up her mind
-she's not "busy" anymore
-got over her "bad day"
good luck!
2007-03-14 21:19:27 · answer #3 · answered by HypNotikA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Tripp, I think this girl is just playing around with you and is trying to get your hopes up and then knock you down. Move on and find someone who will return your calls and not play games with you. Everyone deserves respect.
A Friend.
Clowmy
2007-03-14 23:07:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is honestly really busy...try NOT calling her...and see what happens...or wait a while then calling her...like wait a week or more..then call her! If this doesn't pan out...time to find another girl!
2007-03-14 23:15:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anne99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her attitude ruin you. If she calls back, then she calls back.... If not, then i am sure there are other women out there..Good luck friend!
2007-03-15 01:38:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you post a question like this before?, you know what you dont need thatin your life move on and get some1 with less drama ok.
2007-03-15 04:40:11 · answer #7 · answered by RED ROSE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she had a nice time with you at the wedding. life is complicated. move on.
2007-03-14 21:19:09 · answer #8 · answered by siobahn_85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm gonna have to throw in my lot with Rain on this one (no use for me to repost the same explanation again, she sees it just as i do)
2007-03-15 07:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋