what do you make of this? about lying family.?

Question

I have a cousin and she lies a lot. She is an adult but her parents are deceased. She has lied and stolen from me before. I have a small family. She is coming to the area where I am at.

To make a long story short, I asked her why her webpage says she is of a certain ethnic heritage when I know that it isn't true. She tells me her father was. I said to her, No he wasn't. He was 100% something else. Then she said, "yes he was and my mom was part that ethnic group too." I said, "Listen, if that is the case, my mom is that and I know she isn't that. I am definitely without a doubt not that." Then she simply said, "yes she was." Then she changed the subject.

I told my sister after wards, Why is she does she lie like this? My sister tells me what everyone tells me, "leave her alone. Her parents are dead. If she wants to believe she is part Jupiter let her."

But I think differently. I think she is deeply disturbed. I think the fact my sister and everyone else lets her get (to be contd)

away with lying is letting her become more and more strange. Who knows what she is capable of. Am I right to be worried? Also, do you think I should just let her lie? What do you think of everyone else letting her lie like that?

I realize she's an adult orphan now, but I don't think that means she gets a free ticket to be a psycho.

what i want to know is, do you think she might be dangerous?

i know that sounds dramatic but as i get older im getting less tolerant for weirdness. i see it as really kind of just weird. we are not 13 years old anymore. were adults.

its not that about accepting her. she is my cousin and i love her. in fact, i am very sentimental and have great love for my family.

i am wondering if i have reason to be concerned. for instance she stole a camera from me. i was told on YA that she might have stolen it for what the object represents, which would be my college memories. also i was told the person might be someone she doesnt feel good enough around.

since then i noticed she feels insecure and maybe like she is not good enough. these are things i never noticed. i am older than her, so maybe i just figured its an age thing.

anyway the question is, should i be concerned? and if someone is going to lie to my face, are they going to go off the deep end basically?

Answer 1

I completely agree with your worry.

I have a friend of my own that lies a lot, but to save her own skin, not just because, really... when we were younger, yeah she'd lie so she could steal away a few of my Barbie clothes, but in the end, all she got was a flimsly piece of clothe and a another chunk of respect lost from me.

I don't think anyone should be "left to lie as he or she feels." Especially if it's hurting others. This cousin of yours has some issues. People lose their parents everyday. It's sad, but very true. That doesn't give anyone license to treat others as if their opinion doesn't matter, or that they deserve special tip-toeing.

I can imagine that it's extra hard being in your spot, as your own family isn't taking this as seriously as you are.

This cousin of yours seems set in her ways though, and I'm not sure what all you do about it, but to keep confronting her. Which is a GOOD THING. Don't let anything fall through. If you see something that looks/feels wrong, you should always voice it, and stand your ground.

She may just need a good talking too. Put her in her spot, and then let her tell her side of the story. You might learn something new from her. Maybe there is more to it than you see? Maybe not.

I suppose what I'm really trying to say is: Stand Your Ground. Communicate. Seek Help If Need Be.

I wish you best of luck with this!
Anna :)

Answer 2

Most all adults are now orphans but we do not go around lying about everything.Your sister needs help in coping with her loneliness.I believe she needs a friend or two, who will be just tha,t a friend.After a while she will see how her friends react to everyting and will stop lying.It will take time but your family is only here for a while,God Bless.

Answer 3

She is probably doing it for attention. I have a niece like that. When she runs out of things to say, she just starts lying. She knows others know that she lies. But it doesn't stop her.
I do agree with you. I don't think it helps someone to let them get away with their lies. She sounds like she needs to seek some therapy. Lots of people think, that if the lies don't hurt anyone--whats the big deal--But she is hurting herself
No, most people who lie are not dangerous, they are just verbalizing their fantasy world.

Answer 4

lying does not make someone psychotic, however i do think that she needs to resolve her insecurity's which cause her to lie....of course the reason she is probably so insecure is because she had no parents. that can be one of the most damaging things that could happen to a child. i dont know when she lost them but it would be especially traumatic if they lost them later in their childhood years. i doubt she is dangerous if all she does is lie. she needs to talk to a professional to resolve this issue and finally make peace. maybe talking about it to someone would let her know she does have a problem and maybe she could possibly come to peace with her parents dying and her insecuritys that make her lie.
also try to be accepting and gain her trust, if possible maybe you could even help her resolve her problems. just try to be understanding.

Answer 5

Parents being dead...

Parents being divorced...

Parents this and that....trust me she's listening to all of that it's like a checkered flag at the race track. If your info is true - why don't you calmly tell her you are sick of her being dishonest with you? Tell her that you love her and you are tired of her starting arguments. Ask her if she loves you ...ask her why she is so angry. If your discussion goes well plan something to do together.

Interesting subjects and debates have to have some truth present along with a goal for solution or they are just outright diliberate arguments.

Answer 6

Is she dangerous? Probably not. She just lives in her own world. A defense mechanism. How about that, I did remember something from college pysch.

Just avoid her if you don't want to listen to the lies. No need for you to put up with it.

Answer 7

i think, that shes doing this, to create a reality for herself that works for her. Shes gone through horrible trauma with her parents dying, and its deeply affected her, causing her to just block herself out from the world, and create a new idea of her life, that isnt as bad. This would be explaining the lying etc. I think she does need to go to a counsellor/ phsychiatrist or something of the sort, just to check her mental stability

Answer 8

i does not. i could in basic terms restoration my very own nutrition. you need to not have confidence her to practice dinner for you anymore. If she asks, tell her in basic terms that. Your well being is in basic terms too important. you have different medical doctors, so i'll think of you're an guy or woman. So, you need to take fee of your guy or woman well being and cooking.

Answer 9

i agree with your sister...let her have it her way. it irked you at 13 and irks you now. limit your time with her, keep her out of your home if its possible and argue with her about nothing. just be glad it's not you. imagine how other people feel, who are on to her.

Answer 10

I feel you with your friend, my ex bf is a compulsive liar, they cant seem to stop and you cant stop em they can only stop them selves, if its not to late for em