I really love my boyfriend, I really do, when we first started going out we had amazing romantic relationship. But now 2 years have gone by and he treats me as a good friend not as partner. We only get intimate 2 times a month (I am 21 years old, I need it more than that), he just lays there never get into the sex. Seldom do we kiss, when we do its no longer french kiss just a peck. He never compliments me. Hes a very negative person.
I am tired of being just good friends, I want my boyfriend back. When I tell him this and he says 2 years is gone by things change. I try to be romantic, dress up, write letters, and nothing seems to work.
I do not want to break up with him, because he is my bestfriend but I do need advise on what to do to get the intimacy (not just sex but the passion) back? If anyone can relate PLEASE COMMENT!
2007-03-14 20:41:20 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My partner is 26
Do not think I am writing this because of sex, I am talking really more that he has NO intimacy, he know it as well, he just given up on showing that he care about me.
2007-03-14 21:12:54 · update #1
Hiya. I am sorry to hear this, and I hope I can help but telling you what little I know about a relationship. The guy i am with now (im a female on my bf's account) threatens to break up with me time to time. Just try to talk to him. Tell him how you feel. DONT BE AFRAID doll. Fear is the devils tool. I hope this little bit of info helps. Best of luck, and God bless.
2007-03-14 20:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
You're young. (You never mentioned how old your partner was.) You have to realize that a relationship is more than sex. Sex is an important part of it, but it shouldn't be THE most important part. The fact that you consider him your best friend, is a big deal! Huge! You say that you love him. Think about this: suppose he was in an accident that left him (temporarily) unable to function. Would you stop loving him because he is momentarily incapacitated? Learn to connect with him on other levels that can satisfy you intellectually, emotionally and/or physically.
If you speak to any couple that has been together for any significant amount of time, they will tell you that any successful relationship takes hard work. I'm speaking from experience here. I've been with my now husband almost 4 years. In that time, his workload has steadily increased every year. For a six month period, he travels every week for two days. However, this year it has now increased to four days a week. I love my husband dearly and I couldn't fathom putting additional demands on him. I've found that satisfying his needs also gives me great pleasure. And that is what has sustained our relationship. Trust me - there were times when I wanted to leave because I thought I wasn't getting what I needed. But how can you get upset with a man that is working hard to provide for the family? You can't.
I hope some of this information helps.
2007-03-14 21:07:36 · answer #2 · answered by feefee2u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, it IS normal for the passion to die down after a while. I know it sucks - I went through it too. You'll learn that you two will connect on different levels as your relationship matures. You can't be horny teenagers 24/7. At least you're still being intimate about twice a month - that's still more often than most "old married" couples.
Don't give up too easily - it definitely gets better with age. Give it a chance to mature.
2007-03-14 20:59:17 · answer #3 · answered by Angelpaws 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know for some reason my relationships never lasted more then two years, to funny
My guess is that there is someone else in the picture and that
is the reason for his actions
The best thing for you to do is move on it is not going to get
any better when its gone it's gone.
Mark it down as lesson learned.
The sad thing about the gay world is that there will always be someone younger then you and that's when the drama starts.
There is one thing, always try to end up friends so when you
run into each other at the clubs it will not be awkward.
2007-03-14 22:13:57 · answer #4 · answered by popo dean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Howdy, I am sorry to hear that your going through this emotional roller-coaster ride! I was in your same shoes several years ago myself. Stick to the facts; don't let your mind wonder (ie. is he cheating, did I say something wrong, do I look fat, etc...). Remember that relationships are NOT 50% / 50%, they are 100% / 100%! It sounds as though your giving forth all / most of the effort to keep this relationship afloat, it needs to be duplicated! The best advice that I can think of is this: "Communication"! Try not to approach him in a confrontational manner, try to be supportive and understanding, but also be direct and straight to the point with him. Open up to him and communicate your true feelings, perhaps he doesn't understand / know what your truly feeling inside! People have a tendency to "assume" a lot and as you most likely all ready know, "assuming" can get any of us into trouble! Keep your chin up, best of luck! Cheers!
2007-03-14 21:29:54 · answer #5 · answered by Drew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This also happened to me, i even left my wife for the guy! We had a lot of chemistry in the begining,it was HOT for a long time, we had great sex and got alomg well, then it went sour, he became distant and didnt shoe me much affection at all, it became more one sided,and i was the one doing all the work, it became old after awhile. I stopped talking with him, and put some ditance between us, and i have moved on. I think about him everyday, and do care about him, but had to move on for myself. I needed more out of a relationship. it is hard for the first few months, but time cures all. good luck!!
2007-03-18 18:39:18 · answer #6 · answered by ziggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he said things change did you ask him what and how? Continue talking - that is the only way to work things out. All relationships have there up and down periods and it sounds like youare just ina slump. That really is to be expected. Just keep making new attempts and keep talking and things will work out for the both of you.
2007-03-15 04:02:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chemistry fades and when it does, relationships become a lot of work.
It sounds like you're making a real effort but for the wrong reason. He's making no effort at all.
He may be your best friend but it's not a reason to have a relationship and not a reason to stay in one.
It may be over. I think you need to try one last time to have a serious talk with him and ask if he even wants to stay together.
I'm not saying he *is* cheating, but sex twice a month definately sounds odd for an unmarried/non-committed couple.
2007-03-14 20:53:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
He's on his way out. There I said it. KTMFTTC! U don't need that negativity...(is he an Aquarius?)
2007-03-14 21:08:57 · answer #9 · answered by choose happiness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Romance is a BEHAVIOUR, not just a nice idea.
What are you DOING to make him feel in the MOOD?
2007-03-14 22:35:42 · answer #10 · answered by Just Ask Ashley 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋