Does age count in relationships, specially in love & marriage relations?

Question

If the woman is older than the man how much does it effect the relation, & is there any chance for this relation to succeed? & what may the community offere toward this kind of relations?.
If you agree or disagree i appreciate to hear ur reasons!
Thank you

Thanx for whom answered so far ...
I ment the difference not more than 10 years as for 30 year old man & 37 year old women ......

Answer 1

sure you got eyebrows raised when the woman is older than man (say 10 to 15 yrs up) but this is not the issue. Would you rather sacrifice your relationship over what other people have to say simply because of age gap? or would you hold on to it because it does'nt bother you & you are mature enough to go beyond that? you choose. What matters most is your relationship, your happiness, the love that you feel for each other & the need and want to be together for as long as you want to. There is a chance of it to succeed if at first you get over the issue of age gap because by asking it now, it sounded like you are not comfortable with it. (considering you are experiencing this now) Till you come into terms to accept the reality then you are on your way to a better & much fulfilling relationship.

Answer 2

In an ideal world, it shouldn't matter, however in reality it usually matters a great deal.

It's not so much that there is a physical age difference, the problem is once the enfatuation wears off, a good relationship depends on hard work, an appreciation for the other person and some commonalities. Extreme age differences often means that the two people grew up in entirely different worlds culturally and socially, and thus would have little in common. It might also be difficult for the younger person to gain the respect as an equal peer from the older partner. And older people who have more experience in interpersonal relationships generally understand that it takes a lot of work and effort to make them succeed - younger people can, but often don't understand this.

Then there are practical considerations, such as long-range goals, careers, retirement, children, health, recreation. The differences in these areas may seem small at first, but after a few years may easily grow into major problems,

Another concern is the underlying motivation. While it may be a generalization and stereotype, I believe the vast majority of older men who want to hook up with a younger women do so for their own selfish purposes. It's usually not done to benefit the woman in the relationship (who is often looking for a father figure to heal old family wounds - refer to the imago image & Harville Hendrix in psychology) but instead to stimulate the man's vanity and ego - to make him feel young again. That should not be the primary function of a soul-mate and life partner.

While there certainly have been some age-challenged couples who have made their relationships worked (I've personally known of only one), I believe it's very rare and a person should proceed with a lot of caution first.

In today's society, there is far less stigma associated with unusual matches and I don't think you'll have many problems unless you live in a very small, conservative community.

BTW - thanks for clarifying the age - an age difference of 30 - 37 IMHO is not a major issue. If you are compatible in most other ways, I see no reason why you couldn't have a great relationship...

Answer 3

I have been dating a man that is 14 years older than i am. And I can tell you that it's the best relationship I've ever had. We are at about the same level when it comes to maturity, and what we want in life. We are complete opposites but it works for us. When it comes to couples with a large age difference, there can be a few different problems because of the age... such as one person has more life experience than the other, and sometimes that can make the older person feel like they're in control of the relationship. But if you and your partner, are both openminded, determined to make the relationship work, and can communicate openly with one another, this sort of relationship can, and will work.

There will always be people who don't agree with the older man/younger woman, older woman/younger man relationship. It's important to not let those people affect the relationship. It's your relationship not their's. Age is just a number when it comes to love, in my mind at least. I wouldn't trade my older man in for anything :). Good luck. I hope you find the answers you're looking for!

Answer 4

first of all im not sure what kind of age gap u are speaking because in some cases age does make a difference no matter what sex is older or younger.my husband is 4 yrs younger then i am.i am 41 he is 37.do i care?NO do i care what others think?NO but what i do care about is when an adult which is over the age of 21(in my eyes) and they are dating someone under the age of 18.its wrong and immature on both side of the spectrum.is it any of my business?NO but if it were my child either way theyd be dead.do i agree with a 25 yr old marrying someone who is 85?NO same as above i think when thing like that happen ur marrying for one reason MONEY. whay would u have in common.they say that woman mature faster than men will ive seen a lot of immature woman.i wish u would have give us a little more to go on.are u in a relationship with an older woman?and how much older are we talking.

Answer 5

I think it doesn't matter if the relationship is built on understanding and love, and has a strong trust and acceptance foundation. If you truely accept the fact that your g/f is 5 or 6 or 10 years older than you, then it does not matter.

However, if you love this woman who's older than you, but deep inside of you you still think about she's older than you, even if love exists between you two, here I think that the relationship will not work. Because what you try to hide today, will surface after a while and differences between the two of you will appear as not just different opinions, but as age difference.

I think the age difference should not be more than 5 years older, either a man or a woman.

Answer 6

Personally I prefer not to be in this kind of relationships for a simple reason that getting old literally freaks me out. It would be like a never ending stress for me at all times, looking older than my man no matter how good I look; and I would never enter into a relationship like that, because if I do, I would probably go bankrupt with cosmeticians and plastic surgeons. I would rather have a peace of mind than a relationship like that. But again, I am very weird in that sense, so my advice is not true for everybody. I have seen many couples where the age differences work perfectly.

Answer 7

My boyfriend is 10 years younger than I am, we've been together for 2 years, and it's been great. The age gap does not seem to have any effect on the relationship, other than the fact that I'm financially independant of him, whereas his past younger girlfriends were always after him for financial support. His family doesn't care, nor do his friends. He has 2 kids from a previous marriage so there's none of that "What if she can't have your kids" crap to deal with. He is Mexican, not sure if there's a cultural thing going on with regards to it or not, but the Mexicans I know seem a LOT more open to younger man/older woman relationships than the whites I know.

I don't know why the community should offer anything towards the relationship. They don't offer anything towards younger women/older men couples. None of the town's business anyway.

Answer 8

First off, what is the age difference? Is it 20+ years or just a few? Is the female 30 and the male 10? If the ages are so different as 10 and 30 then there is definitely a problem and age does matter. If the difference between the ages of 20 and 40 then that is not so bad. If the maturity levels are the same and the couple feels that it is alright, then it's no big deal.

Answer 9

In these case I agree because I guess they are both mature already and having a 7 years gap is not so hard anyway... They are already in the line of three meaning they had been through to a lot of things and it was not so hard for them to adjust into a situation because they are both mature enough although the girl is older than him. And for me if the boy reaches the age of 30 he is already responsible enough to handle a relationship.

However I will disagree if the girl is 35 and the boy is only 18 coz at that age the boys are still imature and they doesn't know yet what they really wanted in life.

Thanks

Answer 10

Hell no it doesn't matter! The saying love knows no bounds applies to age as well you know. Most people will fall in love without knowing the age of their lover, so why should it change all of a sudden if there is an age gap? If the outside world have a problem with the age difference then it is their problem not the problem of the lovers. To allow such a petty, trivial thing like an age gap stand in the way of true love is truely heartless.