2007-03-14 19:34:58 · 22 answers · asked by snam_ab 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
threaten to not have sex with him?
2007-03-14 19:37:24 · answer #1 · answered by masterpoopthrower 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hon' You can't! I have been there..done that! The alcoholic has a disease..and they lie all of the time!
They aren't totally good at it...most of the time..but every alcoholic is different!
What you need is to find out about Alanon....it is for family and friends of alcoholics...I used to attend the meetings myself...it helps strengthen you...and becomes like a force,family and friends helping you to deal with his drinking problems...
What you usually do, is attend six different meetings..and then you get to decide which meeting on whatever nights or days works best for you!
You might have to donate some( a small amount...like a dollar or more, or what you can give) money for the meetings...but I will tell you, those meetings are HELPFUL! You don't have to feel so darn alone!
I got a lot of hugs..and support...and I went thru so much anger...trust me! I have soooo been there...and I don't want to be there anymore! It definitely changes you..and it isn't always the greatest thing to be changed by alcohol, or the person that is addicted to it!
Please look in your local phone book or online...google if you have to...or even thru your local churches...they will hold meetings in some of them!
I wish you the best of luck!
2007-03-15 02:43:20 · answer #2 · answered by ladyk 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The first step is to get him to admit that he has a problem. If he doesn't want to admit it, then there is not much you can do to help.
If he does admit that he has an alcohol problem and is a compulsive liar then you have both made a step in the right direction.
The next step is to talk about finding help together. After that you can accompany him because he needs your help at this stage if he is to join a support group or going for professional one on one help with a therapist. Do not give up on him if he really wants to change his ways.
But however if he fails to do anything to get out of the situation he is in, then start to think about yourself and your future and if you have children, your children's future.
If all your offers to help him fall on deaf ears then leave and start loving yourself and puting your well being first.
The wisest thing to do is too love yourself enough to decide what is best for you, you cannot change a person who resist change.
However if you see that he deserves a chance give it to him and see how things go from there.
Through it, all have courage
2007-03-15 03:06:22 · answer #3 · answered by Butterfly 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talking - Talking is the best answer. Talk a lot with him. Mention to him many times that you believe him and only him and you do not have any one for taking care of you, except him. Make him believe that you believe him 100% (though, heart of heart you know, you don't). Your belief in him and unchanged affection at all times, could change him. Have faith in the Almighty and try your best. If you succeed, you not only save your married life, but you will have the satisfaction of changing a person to good in your life time. This is a great service to the nation too! ALL THE BEST.
2007-03-15 02:51:30 · answer #4 · answered by sri71vidhya 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know nagging and pressing would never help you... what would help is his own self realisation. You have to somehow try make him realise that his health is at stake becoz of his drinking habbit. If he wants a helathy life he should give it up; gradually if not all together!
And for lying you show him your trust and honesty to him; and touch his conscious by showing that you seek his honesty in your mutual relationship.!!!
2007-03-19 00:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by kirti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
* You can't make him do anything. But you can have an ultimatum and stand by it. It isn't easy to do that, but with the seriousness of drinking and then lying, what else can you do. He needs to be healed accountable for his actions and his responsibility to you, your family and himself. Tough love. You just never know how long it with go on and how much worse it will become. Your lives are in jeopardy.
I am sorry... Take care of yourself
2007-03-15 02:44:37 · answer #6 · answered by Golden Smile 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
o my I am so sorry. I have been going through the same thing over and over again. I have had him leave so manytimes and it just continues. He even got 2 drunk drivings in the last 3 months. Is all he keeps saying is I am sorry and wont do it any more. But he is lying. I just no that I have tired and cried and just cant deal with it any longer. I just told him he needs help and I am not the one to help him. He has to want to get help. so until he can help himself we wont be together . I am not you but I no what your dealing with. If you can stay strong i am not saying leave him as I have done mine. But good luck hon. Hope you can find hope for him . He is sick with it and needs professional help.
2007-03-15 02:41:09 · answer #7 · answered by babycakes3557 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unfortunately you can't. i went through this with my ex-husband, and one of my friends since childhood, has not gone without getting drunk since he was 15 years old.(he's 32 now with kids, and long term girlfriend.) until he is ready to say accept he has a problem, all the talking, threatening to leave, and so forth will do no good. if he truly has a problem with drinking and lying he will have to hit rock bottom, without anyone there to help him out of what trouble he has gotten himself into. if you can't continue this way, you need to leave, and possibly get counseling for yourself and any children yous do have. as this is his problem not yours, he just made it into yours. best of luck!
2007-03-15 08:51:07 · answer #8 · answered by jdchick48 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly my dear...you can not stop him. Only the person themselves can stop whatever bad behaviors(s) they have. If you are thinking of, or have been advised about the possibility of an intervention..be careful. Interventions can work. They can also go horribly bad. I suggest speaking with someone, who does not share these problems with him, that he respects.Then check into any and all available info regarding the dilemma, in your area. There are programs and professionals, that specialize in this field. I truly wish you the best of outcomes.
2007-03-15 02:55:30 · answer #9 · answered by schizophrenic_poet 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
when he is lying trust him because everyone have a good soul there is a good time when your hubby realize tht yes he is wrong and he should stop every bad habbits.
2007-03-15 02:45:03 · answer #10 · answered by ton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drug Abuse---There Is a Solution! :
~ Who Takes Them?
~ WHY Do People Abuse Them?
~ There IS a Solution to Drug Abuse
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2001/7/8/article_01.htm
Any drug user has to Want to quit, to quit, at least permanently. Maybe --through kindness & love-- you can persuade him to want to try?
The Drinking Trap ... :
- Alcohol Misuse--A Social Catastrophe
- Alcohol Misuse and Health
- Breaking the Chains of Alcohol Abuse
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2005/10/8/article_01.htm
2007-03-15 02:44:10 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋