Ok I've come to the end of an emotional rollercoaster that started 3 months ago. We were highschool sweethearts and together for 15 years with 2 small kids. She left me 3 months ago. My last question is this- When I would ask her on the phone what I did wrong or bring up all the memorys of us and our kids together she would say this-"Don't you see that you are pushing me farther away" For some reason I'm not fully understanding what she is saying,you would think that going down memory lane might make her realize what she is doing and leave her new lover. What does she mean when she said that??? And thank you everybody over the last 3 months I have learned soooo much about love and relationships that if I could go back I bet that I would be holding my love right now. good night and again thank you..
2007-03-14 19:19:03 · 11 answers · asked by jack d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is still with the guy at her work that she left me for.
2007-03-14 19:19:56 · update #1
Jack, good luck with your future...It will get better and your much better off without her...Make sure you spend tons of time with your wee ones and be there for them...(((((HUGS)))))
2007-03-14 20:31:31 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ok, I haven't seen all that has gone on before, but what I can tell you is, trying to go down memory lane is not going to get your wife back. Unfortunately, you may have had some good times, things that you want to remember and that you think you can get her to remember. That's the problem, they are in the past. They have to stay there. Whatever happened to make her leave was something in the present. You can't make someone fall back in love with you. I feel horrible for you that you have lost someone you love, everyone goes through this, and it's worse after a marriage with children. But, she is in love with someone else now, and the more you talk to her and try to go back to the beginning the more you are pushing her away. She doesn't want to remember the past, it is the past for her and you are trying to play on emotions that she doesn't want to face. She probably still has feelings about what she is doing, and by pushing them in her face you are trying to make her feel guilty. Nobody wants to live with guilt, so the result is more anger. If she is going to come back to you, it will have to be because she wants to, not because you play guilt trips on her and that is what you are doing, even though you don't realize it. Take it from someone who has been dumped in the past and done all they could to get a relationship back, it doesn't work. I hate to hear of anyone hurting the way you seem to be, but all I can say is, pull yourself together and get on with your life. All you are doing in the long run is hurting the children.
2007-03-14 19:30:13 · answer #2 · answered by lochmessy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
of direction no longer something is incorrect with you! Your husband has pulled the secured foundation surprising from under you via his cheating and unsafe to go away you. it is almost complicated for me to work out a husband who you concept became the suited husband interior the international do some thing like this. adult men do no longer substitute from being a large husband to a cheating one for no longer something. What happened is now the blinders are off and you're seeing him for the 1st time the way he rather is. the two that, or he became a large husband and a few thing interior the marriage drove him to cheat, which remains no excuse it only explains it. basically you already know the answer to this. you in addition to might won't be able to assume to take him lower back and proceed as though no longer something has happened. He at first desires to make restitution to you and he desires to re-build the believe and protection which you extremely want with the intention to enable this bypass. Get into counselling this way the two one among you will get the right help to confirm what happened on your marriage that lead him to cheat. cheating is extra devastating than all of us can think of and it could smash each and every of the believe and love in a marriage. you have a complicated street earlier than you, yet whilst your husband is definitely remorseful and keen to do what it takes to re-earnings your believe, and if he extremely became a stable husband in the previous all of this happened, then there's a stable probability that interior time you be able to beat this. All marriages bypass by complicated tiers, cheating happens in some marriages, in some others it does not, yet problems nonetheless do exist. the factor is to work out if the stable interior the marriage out weights the undesirable then the marriage is nicely worth saving. you will possibly be able to desire to detetmine if yours is nicely worth saving and then do what it takes to achieve this. suited desires to you!
2016-10-18 10:27:51 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well not knowing all the details, From what your saying I could say shes trying to use an excuse to keep away from
you and avoiding making up with you. My x use to do that to me all the time. We would get along for a while then all of a sudden she would snap and act like she still mad about the same crap we just got over. That just do sent make seance to me. I just can't understand women some times. But really it take two sides of the story's to see whats going on
2007-03-14 19:59:00 · answer #4 · answered by BZCranium 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My man, once again, I am SO SORRY! I know that you never imagined the h*ll that you are going. I know that I have responded to you before, but, once again, I sincerely feel for you.
I sincerely hope that you have come to the end of your emotional rollercoaster, but, unfortunately, I doubt it. The good news is, the worst is over. The bad news is you are going to battle severe emotions for a long time. Sure, the heartache sessions will grow fewer and farther between, but it will take a long, long time for your heart to battle itself out of the pain.
My man, I know it is virtually impossible right now, but you have got to quit blaming yourself for your wife's cheating. Sure, I know that you could have done things different/better; we all could have. However, nothing that you did justifies her behavior. If you were so horrible, she would have left you with the kids and went to her parents or off by herself not to another man. Seriously dude, you will go insane/depressed if you continue to blame yourself for your wife cheating. IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!
Are you sure that your really want your wife back?
2007-03-14 21:42:19 · answer #5 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's aways two sides to a story and we only see your,but you said your self YOU have learned so much about love and relationships that if you could do it all over again that you would be holding your love right now,so a lot of this had to do with you too !!! you two did 15 together and after 3 months I'm letting go OK,right that I don't understand I have been in love with A man for almost one year May of 06 this man never ask me to love him or to be his lady or friend we have never had sex together and I can't let go,I don't understand love or lets say his love.....If you can go back try and fix it if you can do it for love just try to work it out, maybe you can get it right this time
2007-03-14 20:54:41 · answer #6 · answered by Susan O 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sir, I am in the EXACT same situation as you are. Sometimes I feel why am I holding on to life. It truly put a wear on your personality and your physical well being. I have tears in my eyes as we speak because someone is going through the exact same pain that I am. It makes you feel so hopeless. Brother, I hope everything works out for you and there is someone in Columbus, Ohio thinking of you right now. My wife packed all her stuff and has not talked to me in a month. I have not seen her and she has not given me any answers at all. I dont even know what I did wrong...hang in there man. Please email me markaaron19@hotmail.com and we can talk. I feel your hurt...and I just want you to know that you are not alone....
2007-03-15 11:35:47 · answer #7 · answered by markaaron19 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looks like you need help. You need to learn how to deal with and understand your wife. She is doing wrong to you you probably don't deserve. Join http://groups.yahoo.com/groups/helpforchristians to be with and help other people with the same problems as you.
2007-03-14 20:12:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
by now you must know she cant be trusted, let her go with her lover, you will find another love who wont cheat on you it will take time to heal - but hey thats part of life - we all go through the pain and hurt - be patient
2007-03-14 19:25:57 · answer #9 · answered by boonoora 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if those were good memories for u it doesn't mean they were good memories for her. maybe she feeled empty inside during those times and wanted to die and u didn't even notice. and anyway, she is gone and she is not coming back. women ususally do not leave if they still have even a slightest possibility to stay
2007-03-14 19:24:29 · answer #10 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋