I was heart broken,when a guy, friend of my friend, called me up. He wanted to make friendship wid me bt I always avoided.I told him abt my break-up & da consequences I was facing.He seemed to realize bt wanted to meet me.I'd met him bt didn't allow him to touch me in anyway.It showed dat he's head-over-heels in love wid me.He's an established businessman wid a nice nuclear family.I've always told him dat I don't love him.I don't feel that urge for him.He said dat evrything'll b ok aftr marriage.It'd been almost 2yrs of our relationship,still I don't love him.I don't feel anything wen he touches me or it so happens dat if gets closer,I always keep distance.I thought of settling with this nice guy anyway,even if I didn't love him.We share every type of discussions with each other. He tries to fulfill whatever I want. Our common frnds tell us dat, we r such sweet couple. I know, without me,his life'll be tough.So I thought of taking care of him 4 the entire life.Bt 4 months back,a guy came in my life,who made frndshp wid me over phone.We'd met each other.I've told him abt my engagement.He even talked to my fiance over phone.He'd become my best pal,but he started to feel for me.From the very beginning,I cud feel his love for me.Then 1 day he said he loves me,in spite of knowing dat I'm engaged.He cud also guess my love for him.Later 1day I told him that I also love him like crazy.We were meeting each other & started to get closer day by day.I really love this person,but he is not ready to marry me now bcoz,he's not totally settled now.He's only 27 now & I'm 22.I don't know whether to marry the person whom I love or not. both of them loves me.1st guy has to marry in a year bcoz of his age.I know he'll keep me happy,but I know that I can't keep him happy physically or sexually.I can't even tell him abt my love affair with the 2nd. My fiance can realize abt our growing relationship. He wants me to say bt I can't reveal. Now a days, he's telling me not to keep any connection with my lover. What'll I do? I'm keeping a lot of patience.
If anyone needs any more inf, then let me know. Please think by heart & suggest me.
2007-03-14 18:44:04 · 15 answers · asked by Bubai 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
understand him fully and talk to him openly
Share ur feelings.. then u might see some difference
2007-03-14 18:51:07 · answer #1 · answered by Swetha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some 'food for thought':
Are You Thinking About Marriage?
- What Is Needed for a Successful Marriage?
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/1999/2/15/article_01.htm
Why View Marriage as Sacred?
- Love and Respect
- Time and Attention
- Avoid a Casual View
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2004/5/8a/article_01.htm
Right and Wrong How Should You Decide?
- Differing Opinions ...
- Is Popular Opinion a Trustworthy Guide?
- Can You Trust Your Own Judgment? ...
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2004/12/1/article_02.htm
Some Helpful Bible Principles ...
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/2/15/diagram_01.htm
2007-03-14 19:38:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
AH, a most challenging case! You see, the very reason why INDIA needs my expertise! Watch how Rev Rene handles this one! Ready, here goes! OK, A nuclear family? Didn't the part where this moron starting glowing in the dark tip you off? And this crap about you 'taking care of him'? What is he? A super sized Ham and egger?You gotta be kidding me! Yeah, and the part where this halfwit Say's, It will all be OK after marriage? What will be OK? The fact that you'll be giving this Pablum puking moron a bath for the rest of your life? And after all of this, [As if things weren't bad already], you go a cheat on this poor sap? I thought INDIA had it's share of problems, but JEEZ! SO, now you want a remedy from Rev Rene? Alright, here goes, Tell this lovelorn loser of a husband of yours that your actually an alien from the planet xecaz, 3rd planet from the sun in the galaxy of your anus, then go and tell this pencil neck geek of a 'boyfriend' that your pregnant with hie child, and see how fast he runs! Have a stop watch ready, he's going to break the INDIAN record for the mile run, then go a check yourself into a mental ward!!!!, for crying out loud!!!! YOU SEE, ALL OF INDIA? WHY REV RENE IS THE WAY HE IS? DO YOU FINALLY UNDERSTAND WHY I'M GOING CRAZY? I AM NOW GOING TO CONTACT MY INDIAN PRINCESS, I REALLY NEED A BREAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-03-18 02:04:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for ur fiancee and I think he picked a raw pickle from the jar. Obviously you have no idea what love is at 22 to be equating such stupid things with love. For one if he replused you so why did u stay with him for two years or even have sex with him in the first place. I think you are too immature to get married, especially if you cant see that love is not all about getting goose bumps all the times its about commitment, keeping ur promises and holding on when the goose bumps fade sometimes. I think you are lying to urself saying u dont love him and that you are choosing not to allow yourself to love him and feel loved by him. If he is as good of a guy as u say he is............let him go and go with the guy I GUARNTEE you will love him later and wish you didnt let him go. Good men are hard to find people always say but good women anit waving around in the streets either.
2007-03-14 19:12:02 · answer #4 · answered by exceptionallyexceptional 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if i go through the above even my heart breaks.u should have the control in oneself inspite of the lifes uncertainities.i tell u u r not sure of what u want.u r making it a puzzle of shakunthala devi.i guess u r a bee that jumps from one flower to another flower.it is u who has to decide as to what u want and whom u want.its not abt sex its not abt love its abt how u want to take ur life.i think u never love any body or never respect anybodies love.im unable to give u any suggestions.pls dont think that im hurting you.did i hurt u.im really very sorry gal.
finally i would like to ask u who r u.
2007-03-15 18:44:35 · answer #5 · answered by ramappa j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't get into a hasty marriage only to repent later. Take time to sort out your feelings. But from what you say, it will not be very advisable to get married to a guy whom you do not find physically attractive. Afterall, sex is the most important factor of married life. At 22, you can afford to wait, age is on your side.
2007-03-14 18:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by Traveller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the time we read and help people who say that they are not happy in luv, thier marriage are falling apart and etc, etc and we feel so sad and helpless for them. And then someone like you comes along. Why the hell you got involved and engage to this guy if u don't luv him. Do him a big favour, leave him now. If he doesn't want to end the relationship, you do it anyway. Force him to end it if you have to. How long do you want to wait. Till you have childrens with him. Better break his heart now then later. He don't deserve someone like you. Leave him so that he'll find someone better and deserving then you
2007-03-14 21:14:35 · answer #7 · answered by Akki's Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From your narration it is crystal clear that you have not matured till now. Love, break-offs then again love. You are just kidding.
You are just fooling yourself that you are in love. It is Plain simple infatuation and hunger for sex which is very common at this age of yours.
Your whole narration is full of expressions that used the word "Touch" or "Don't touch" which exemplifies the feelings inside you.
You are measuring your love with the scale of sexual arousal one gives you with his touch.
Let me advise you to leave both of them and start concentrating on the use of your intelligence instead of feelings for deciding on your partner. Well it might be difficult coz your sexual desires are ruling your mind but it's better to think intelligently and logically so that you and your partner in life are comfortable.
Leave your current love coz he is going to runaway for sure after enjoying with you. And the older one also coz you will ruin his life with these natural desires of yours which will become stronger after marriage.
I am sorry for being harsh and degrading you but that is a FACT which someone has to tell on your face.
ALL the BEST for your life.
2007-03-14 19:23:30 · answer #8 · answered by babatkd 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did you agree to marry him if you do not love him? Do not lead someone on thinking that you love them when you really don't. This situation will get worse over the years and it will be harder for you to tell him and even harder for him to find out that you never loved him in the first place.
2007-03-14 19:19:34 · answer #9 · answered by it's me 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should NOT marry your fiance,only because you don't love him.You need to break it off with him soon.Your already having an affair.This is NOT fair to your fiance.You need to tell him.Believe me he WILL get over you .Remember what goes around comes back around.Just in case you don't understand:If you do it to him it will get done back to you! It's Karma
2007-03-14 19:00:27 · answer #10 · answered by damarony896 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not I repeat, DO NOT stay with someone you do not love! I did for five years and I didn't want to leave because I thought I had to take care of him. It was torture! It is not fair to you, nor him. He will be fine on his own. You have to think of yourself here.
2007-03-14 18:51:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋