I believe my younger sister is having sex but does not want to confide in anyone! because she thinks its nobody business if she was anyway.She is younger than 18/21 oh it definently is my business especially my mom and dad.She just does not want to talk about it.I am 19 and have not had sex.How come she feels like she can't talk to me?Neways....what are your thoughts on birth control for a 16 year old?She does not even want to discuss any kind of protection.I feel like I am doing nothing toget thru to her.Thanks for your help.BTWAY....adults,teens,moms and dads opinions please.
2007-03-14 18:35:34 · 19 answers · asked by inyrfcgul 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
A few things. Obvious if you've not had sex at 19 and she is thinking about it, so can't talk to you about it. She is afraid you would be judging her the entire time (which you probably would because it's hard to be COMPLETELY judgment free on stuff like that).
If she is having or thinking about having sex, then she defiantly needs both birth control and protection from STDs. Sixteen year olds having sex is not a good thing, but if they ar going to do it, then they should be prepared for it.
Don't offer her birth control. Just offer her a 'no questions asked' ride to the family planning clinic and say you will wait in the car if she wants. And then don't ask questions, and wait in the car if she wants you to.
2007-03-14 18:50:15 · answer #1 · answered by A5150Ylee 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The dangerous thing with birth control is that young people think that they're "covered" then and don't use condoms as well. I went to an educational program at my son's middle school. the statistics on teen sex, pregnancy and STD's were staggering. Also, it is important to know that condoms will only completely protect from 2 of the 26 or so STD's and even then it is mostly only effective for the boys.
I have had very open and honest discussions with my kids about sex, how it works, what happens, what different things are called, repercussions and expectations. It was extremely uncomfortable at first, but now they've both come to know they can ask me ANYTHING! And they DO.
2007-03-15 09:19:33 · answer #2 · answered by jhvnmt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think EVERY girl should be offered the option of going on the pill at 16, to save the embaressement of having to ask. If she wants to go on it, just in case she chooses to have sex in the future (if she is not now) then why not. As for whether or not she is having sex, I think it is perfectly okay, as long as it is safe sex and it is with someone she loves. Being 19, take the initiative to talk to her about it.
My sister is 17 and I am 19, and I have always openly talked about sex with my sister and the mistakes I have made, and it HAS had an impact on her. When she was 14 she slept around with 3 or 4 guys, and when I found out we had a LONG talk. After that she went on the pill, realized what she was doing and remained abstinent until she met her current bf, whom she is in love with and has been with for quite some time.
She is probably nervous talking to you for two reasons, because you are her sister and becaues you have never had sex, with an emphasis on you have never had sex. If she feels you cannot relate to her situation, it will be very difficult for her to discuss these things with you.
When you sit down to talk to her, start with saying that you do NOT want to hear about her sex life or whether or not she is having sex, but tell her that you respect her privacy and just want to make sure you don't have any nieces or nephews in the near future. As long as you are gentle and it doesn't start out with something like "I have NEVER had sex (in a disapproving tone)" or "Why would you have sex at 16!", you should be fine.
2007-03-15 08:51:13 · answer #3 · answered by bpbjess 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can tell you is what I have told my 13 yr. old daughter....when she even thinks she may want to have sex at some point in the reasonably near future, I want to know. We will make an appointment at the dr. for birth control and buy condoms when we go pick up her pills at the pharmacy.
I have told my daughter that sex is a major decision in life, but that the truth is it doesn't always happen with time for thought and planning. She knows that our hope for her is to wait to share that first moment with someone she knows well, has been in a long term, monogamous realtionship with who loves her and respects her and the choices she makes. Someone who is willing to accept his share of the responsibility for this major decision by being honest about past partners and being willing to be sure he is safe and healthy.
BUT, with all of that withstanding, I was young. I remember the hormones, the rush, and the desire to just do it. So I would rather have her safe...on birth control and with condoms in her purse...then leave anything to chance.
2007-03-15 08:33:42 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When you say birth control, are you refering to the pill? I think that if a 16 year old is sexually active, yes he and she should be using birth control.
If you can't get through to your sis, try talking to her boyfriend, you can even intimidate him, but be prepared to be chewed out by your sis for interfering in her life. Being chewed out will be better than being told that you are an uncle, no?
Consider that she might be afraid of the side effects of taking the pill, tell her that there are several sites that can answer her questions about taking the pill.
2007-03-15 05:47:15 · answer #5 · answered by ERIC W 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I got on birth control on my own when i was 16. I made my own appointment and all of that cause i was having sex. I had sex twice before going but we used condoms both times.
I have came to know that when someone will not talk about sex or says they haven't are lying.
Like my sister who thinks she is just "IT" denied up hell that she was not having sex but she was. When she did go and get put on the shot, she even denied that.
I know sometimes you don't want to talk about things like that with your parents or siblings but i don't see the big deal about it. You are or your not and if someone is only trying to help you out from not becoming a teenage mom then i don't see why she doesnt just let you take her to get on birth control.
She may already be on birth control and not telling it or maybe she is going to learn the hard way when she ends up pregnant.
All you can do is talk, it is up to her to listen. Good luck.
2007-03-15 03:30:26 · answer #6 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i'm a mom of a 16yr old and YES they should be on the pill.. 1- it helps keep their period regular...2- when or if u have sex then u are protected... but most of all they need to be able to have comdons cause not only does it protect u from having babies before ur ready it keeps u from having STD's.. just cause a girl takes the pill dont mean they are having sex. it means they are thinking ahead and being ready when the time comes to have sex...how many ppl out there can say they had sex and knew it was going to happen... yea u know at the time but ppl dont wake up and say hmmm think i'll have sex today... its smart to use protection...
2007-03-15 08:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by kitttkat2001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
16 is the perfect age to start birth control even if she isn't having sex yet. It takes time to start working for when she is ready and it will help her keep her periods regular. Try to talk her into making an appointment with you and go together...explain to her that even if she isn't sexually active yet...it doesn't hurt to be prepared for when she finally is ready. She's at a very difficult age where things like this may be difficult to talk about...even if it is with her sister. She's going through a lot of hormonal changes just be there for her and try to let her know she can talk to you.
2007-03-15 02:22:25 · answer #8 · answered by cheri_anne 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think its the safest thing to do she may not want to admit it but she might be sexually active and if she were she more than likely wouldnt tell you or your parents especially if she nos u hav never been sexually active as she would feel as though she is doing the wrong thing and fears she will get in trouble
2007-03-15 06:37:47 · answer #9 · answered by Kimberly S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay I'm speaking from Personal Experience k, when i first had sex i didnt TELL anyone in my family because, especially my sister because she was a virgin and I just knew she would tell my parents, and you also stated that its definitely their buisness, and trust me i did not think it was any of their buisness and she most likely doesnt either, but maybe you could try to talk to her rationally about it, and i PROMISE you that the only way she is going to talk to you is if she KNOWS for a fact that you arent going to tell your parents because that was the only way i finally talked to my brother! Don't be mean or judgemental either because she wont talk to you trust me
2007-03-15 10:32:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋