He has it good living at home. He doesn't have to pay rent. He has all the perks: free housing, free electricity, free water (toilet/shower), free food, free gas (mom pays), free car insurance (mom pays), free everything (mom pays for all of his bills), Everything that he wants, he gets!
What can I say to him to convince him to move out?
What are the pros? Independence? Privacy?
PLEASE HELP
2007-03-14 18:32:39 · 16 answers · asked by H M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I want him out because he is verbally abusive.
What can I say to interest him to live on his own?
2007-03-14 18:36:16 · update #1
My mother is fine with everything
But I cry everyday becasue he is so mean
2007-03-14 18:39:52 · update #2
Well from what it sounds like he has no incentive or reason to move out. Your parents seem to give him everything that he needs. So, it's up to them to stop providing everything for him. If they stop driving him around, stop buying him food and force him to take some of the responsibility of the bills than it will force him to be more responsible and actually want to move on with his life. As another answerer noted, it isn't your responsibility it is your parents. But, if you feel that it has gone too far you should talk to your parents and let them know of your concerns. Again, though, it is ultimately going to be the decision of your parents to cut him off.
2007-03-14 18:46:04 · answer #1 · answered by daweaves1979 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have mentioned on your questions how old you are. You know, if you are old enough and have a job, why don't you move out and show your mom how co dependent your brother really is. You would have your independence and your privacy and you would have the ability to show everyone on your home that you can do it on own unlike your brother.
Sounds like your mom doesn 't want your brother to ever move out the way that she is still taking care of him. If he doesn't have a girl friend that he needs to spend time with then he's not going to leave. If he eventually finds a girl that wants him to become more independent he may move out, but don't be surprised if he chooses to give her up and continue living at home and have your mother pay all his bills.
I'm not really trying to tell you that if you don't like your living situation then move out. I'm just saying that if you choose to do this first, your mother may realize how much your brother is really taking advantage of her.
2007-03-14 18:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by The Answer Guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
enzo32ferrari's dating tips...for girls:
Topic: GET OUT!
This isn't exactly my area of expertise; because its your brother and you aren't dating him; but this may affect how you go out to date; your brother may affect the relationship. The reason that your brother doesn't want to move out is because as you said, he has all the perks. He can't get it better than this; he doesn't want to leave because he doesn't have to do anything. THIS IS BAD; HE WILL GROW UP (FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE) TO BE DEPENDENT ON OTHER PEOPLE, AND WILL BECOME LAZY. Therefore, will not become successful in life. He needs to get out, find a house or apartment, get a job, and just live. Just tell it to him straight; "You're 28 years old, I think its time you got a job and moved out"...try emphasizing the "out"
Or some other things you can try:
1. Talk to your mom; she pays everything. She can sever the gas, electricity, water, and insurance all in several calls. She can force him out; plus she needs to; or else he will get dependent and lazy and it is NOT easy to get out of that hole.
2. Tell it to him straight; you need to get out of the house, get a house or apartment and start living your own life, and paying your own bills.
There are very little pros in this situation; and alot of cons:
Pros:
1. No bill paying, he can save up for when he finally moves out
2. He can spend his earned money on something other than bills
3. Close to family
(thats pretty much it)
Cons:
1. Friends will say he lives with his mom, which, from the male standpoint is kinda embarassing; saying that he's a momma's boy (which he isnt, but it is a possibility)
2. Will become dependent on mom; will be lazy later in life. therefore unsuccessful.
3. Girlfriend coming over to house may have that; "meet the parents" fear in her; therefore dumping him.
4. May drain mom's money because of; a car accident, overly showering, wasting water, going long distances and paying today's high gas prices, electricity, and all bills.
2007-03-14 18:45:15 · answer #3 · answered by enzo32ferrari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. First of all. Who does it bother more. You or your mother that hes living there? Talk to you mom, if she wants him out then she needs to tell him to start paying rent or find his own place. But I'm guessing that she hasnt mentioned him moving out. Is he the youngest? Maybe your moms scared that she will be all alone when hes gone. Just talk to your mom, find out her feelings on it and let her make the call. If your not living there and your mother doesnt have a problem with him being there, get over it. It's not your call.
2007-03-14 18:37:35 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley Oasis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to stop mooching off mom and help pay some bills and if he starts doing that maybe he will realize he may as well get his own place. Tell mom to stop spoiling him. Is it the idea of his age and still living at home or is it because he doesnt pitch in? I have alot of friends that still live with their parents but they help pay bills and it helps their parents out alot financially. Maybe you should move back home too...jking
2007-03-14 18:36:15 · answer #5 · answered by Bark at the Moon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mom is the single which needs to strengthen up and quit paying his costs and tell him to bypass out. 28 year old guy with a 17 year old gf? are you able to assert stautory rape??? have him arrested in case you want him lengthy gone that a lot. or basically wait a year and also you may bypass out and enable mom infant him all she needs and take exhilaration understanding that your more beneficial mature than your 29 year old brother.
2016-12-02 00:56:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't but your mom sure needs to tell him that it is time to do like a baby birdie that is now grown up and fly out of the nest...trust me my mom did the same things for my brother and she finally had to have him move out at about the same age, if she had not finally told him that it was time for him to move...he would still be there at 50, seriously
best wishes to you all on this one...been there and it is not fun when your the other person watching all of that
2007-03-14 18:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a time limit...say 30 days. Then be prepared to change the locks on the doors and have the police on hand if you are that serious.
2007-03-14 18:35:45 · answer #8 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can say anything to get him to move out. My brother did the same thing... it is the best situation if you can pull it off.
2007-03-14 18:36:39 · answer #9 · answered by bigej65 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you namin the pros there. tell him no girl gonna want him when hes 28 living at home wit the rents its just plain wierd
2007-03-14 18:35:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋