My daughter has been super fussy all day today, especially at my breast, and I gave her a bottle of formula, and she ate well, filled her belly and fell asleep. She never slept this soundly after a breastfeeding. I had been considering supplementing anyway, and this just kind of clinched it in my mind for me. I have been going crazy trying to breastfeed, and my body just can't keep up, no matter what I try.
Did anyone else feel slightly guilty putting their baby on formula? Does it hurt to let your breasts dry up? I finally just stopped crying, so, someone give me some help, please.
2007-03-14 18:30:18 · 22 answers · asked by Ang 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Cassandra...BITE me. I don't want her to sleep like the dead, but the child never has slept well. Give her Nyquil? that's not even on the same level. You don't know what all I have tried, I'm even on Reglan to try and help and it's not working. It's people like you that are making me uncomfortable in the first place. I want her to be full and happy and healthy. If she's not eating enough, I have to feed her. I hope YOUR children aren't starving.
2007-03-14 18:45:27 · update #1
Ok, before more people yell at me, just thought I would add that I am working full time, and do not have the luxury of being able to be a stay at home mom. I'm single so the only person able to pay mine and my daughter's bills is me. Also, I have a Medela Pump In Style Advanced that I've been trying to work with and have had major supply issues. I'm not doing this to harm my daughter, I'm not doing this to make her sleep through the night, because quite frankly, I don't care about that. I just want to be able to feed her. I've been leaving work as much as 3 hours early to rush home to feed her, because I'm not making enough for her to eat during the day, and I can't keep doing that or I'll lose my job, and we'll be in worse condition than we are now. I'll try to feed her while supplementing as much as I can, but if the child is hungry, she's hungry, and I'm not going to deny her substenance just because of foolish pride. This is super hard for me.
2007-03-14 20:35:27 · update #2
Thomas J- So, I created this situation for my daughter to have no father? Tell that to the jackass that kicked me out of our house when I was 5 months pregnant. He didn't care that he was losing his daughter. In fact, he kicked me out to be with another woman, and has never tried to contact me about his daughter since. He didn't bat an eye at leaving the 2 of us homeless, and I'm lucky I have a family that loves me enough to take us in. I do NOT want to formula feed so that I can leave my child. Why do people keep saying that? I love her more than anything in the whole world, but when I am away from her, when I am at WORK, the child has to eat, and I am not making enough.
I talked to her pediatrician this morning, and he told me supplementing sounded like a great idea, because he knows what struggles the 2 of us have been through, since she is an underweight baby. I am still going to BF at night and in the morning, and she will have formula while I am at work, and she will be great
2007-03-15 15:32:14 · update #3
CB, I too was formula fed, and classified as a gifted child, and so was my brother. So, I definitely don't believe that formula lowers your IQ. You knowwhat does lower babies IQ's? No interaction. And that's something NO ONE can accuse me of. When I am not working, I spend every spare second I have with my daughter.
And I'm still peeved that Cassandra brought up SIDS. It affects breastfed babies, too.
And no, to whoever asked, my daughter has never seemed sated after breastfeeding. And she has struggled to gain even 3 ounces a week. She's only in the 3rd percentile for weight.
2007-03-15 15:35:42 · update #4
Maybe I shouldn't answer this, as I never did really do the formula thing. My son had formula maybe three times - but I always had it on hand, 'just iin case'.
I have to say, do NOT feel guilty! While breast milk is 'best', formula isn't evil. It isn't even unhealthy. It's a perfectly acceptable alternative, kudos for breastfeeding as long as you did!
If you just cease breastfeeding, yes, it'll hurt. Pump to relieve pressure, and slowly back off the pumping.
However, I'd like to toss out a suggestion for an alternative. Keep breastfeeding! Use formula before bed, or as a back-up plan. I don't know how old your daughter is, but it could be that she's just going through a growth spurt and needs more, or is fussy because she isn't feeling well. Talk to LLL (but don't let them ram their ideals down your throat...), talk to a lactation consultant (some insurance plans will cover this), talk to a community health nurse, check out kellymom.com. They may recommend pumping between or after feeding to boost supply, or recommend dietary changes to help you out (steel cut oatmeal, yummy with whole milk, butter, and maple syrup!).
Whatever you choose to do, don't beat yourself up. Either way, you're doing what you feel is best for your daughter. She won't be harmed in any way by switching to formula, but she might be if she grows up with you constantly blaming yourself and putting yourself down for your decisions.
Take care, and don't let anyone beat you up, you included :)
2007-03-14 18:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by melanie 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Aww, don't cry! After I had my first baby there was so much pressure on me to breastfeed, finally I gave up and gave him a bottle. He was happier, I was happier and I had some confidence back in myself. I think that breastfeeding is a very personal thing and it's a personal choice. You did give it a try and your baby did get some milk. Don't let anyone make you feel bad over your choice. If you wanted another option, you could buy or rent a breast pump (I did this with my 2nd and 3rd baby) and I got to pump for a couple more months. My babies also were happier on formula, less colic/gas and fussiness. I did watch what I ate when I was pumping but my milk still seemed to bother them. I'm sure you are a wonderful mommy and just because you don't give your baby a boob doesn't change that. You need to enjoy your baby and not be stressed out over feeding him breastmilk or formula, it is your choice hon, I have 3 healthy older kids that are all intellegent, have great immune systems and they all had formula for the majority of their first year. You'll be ok whatever you decide to do. Hugs-V
2007-03-15 01:40:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no need to let your breasts dry up (yes, it would hurt)...you could just keep nursing her when you come home from work...that way you will still have that special bond and she will still be getting some of her Mommy's milk. As long as she is still nursing, you WILL have milk. It may not seem like you have that much, but trust me, it is there! I was lucky enough to be able to stay home for the first 18 months with both of my kids (I work part-time now) so neither one ever had a bottle, but I'm sure I would have felt guilty, too, if I would have had to give them formula. I would just make sure you are giving her the best formula possible, and then give her your milk in the evenings...good luck!
2007-03-15 09:25:03 · answer #3 · answered by Cheryl S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How old is this baby? I dont understand if you have supply issue all the time...or just that you cannot manage to pump enough to feed her while you are at work....a pump...i dont care WHAT kind of pump is often not as good at getting the milk OUT as the baby is. When you nurse your baby, does she seem sated? You sound like you are a good candidate for stress -related low supply! The only thing i can tell you, is when you do nurse her, make the most of it...snuggle up in bed and nurse all weekend long and REST and enjoy it...if you supplement with formul while at work...you are not the first person to do this! I rented two differnt pumps and still couldnt get enough milk to feed the baby while i was at work.
2007-03-15 14:57:18 · answer #4 · answered by motherhendoulas 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
They stay full longer w/ formula b/c it's harder to break down in their tummy than breast milk. And yes I felt slightlly guilty, but I had no choice at the time. Now my daughter can keep down regular formula so I'm upset that I no longer have milk b/c now she would be able to keep it down as well! But don't feel bad, the majority of mothers end up supplementing at least some. And no, drying up doesn't hurt assuming u don't get a clogged duct etc, which u get even when u r feeding usually! You'll barely notice it, in fact it will start to feel better not being engorged!
2007-03-15 01:42:28 · answer #5 · answered by elk571 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I felt guilty when I had to supplement my son. I was dead set on Breastfeeding with no formula but it didn't work out that way. If you are still wanting to breastfeed try what I did: I would breastfeed my son for 10 mins on each side and then give him a bottle and let him drink as much as he needed while he was eating a bottle I pumped (most of the time I did this but not always) It took untill my son was about 3-3 1/2months old for me to only breastfeed him with no supplements. If you decided to only use formula from no on aleast you gave your baby a head start by starting her out with breast milk!!! That is a great gift you can give your baby.
2007-03-15 01:43:04 · answer #6 · answered by punkmommy-2-1 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
UGHHH! Cassandra again!!! What is with her?!?!?!? Anyway, ignore her...she is driving me mad with her snotty comments and better than everyone attitude!!!
Do not feel guilty. You have tried as hard as you can. Supplement with formula if you want/need to do so. Formula feeding does NOT lower IQ; that is just not true. I was formula fed out of necessity and I did not suffer any IQ issues; actually, I was classified as gifted as a child. I know several other people who were formula fed and they are all very intelligent people as well. My little boy has been formula fed since day one and has never been sick and he is almost 11 months old. Your baby will be fine; do what is best for you and your child. If you lose your job, you are not going to be helping her...not to mention you sound like you are completely stressed out over this and she can sense that. Just do what you have to do to feed your baby (formula or breast or both) and feel good that you are doing what is best for YOUR situation - you are a good mom or you would not be so worried about this. Good luck and God bless you!!!
2007-03-15 08:56:30 · answer #7 · answered by CB 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
My sister in law couldn't feed and she felt terribly guilty. I felt guilty too when I started to comp. My daughter actually preferred breast to bottle so I was lucky and kept persisting.
It is your choice. Some people just don't produce as much milk. If you want to switch to formula don't let anyone make you feel guilty.
About breasts hurting - I think I am like one in a million where I never felt my milk come in, never felt let downs and never had any issues when drying up. It was like I never had any milk. However, for some people it can be extremely painful. Weaning slowly might work. Drop one feed every couple of days or week by week. It is your choice. If you want to stop producing milk it is best not to express to much as demand = supply. Maybe hand in express in the shower to relieve a little.
2007-03-15 01:42:42 · answer #8 · answered by hottee 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty if supplementing. That's what I did...I breastfed but also gave formula. Feel blessed that your even able to breastfeed (even if it's once or twice a day. There's women that can't breastfeed at all or don't have enough milk.
Psalm127:3
3 Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.
2007-03-15 03:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I felt major guilt with my first because he wouldn't take at first and when he finally did I went into the hospital and dried up because of the anti-biotics. I am now breast feeding my baby girl and the best advice I can give you is nurse he even when she just wants to suck on something, that can help. I put in a site that has suggestions on how to increase your milk supply if you want to look at it. For me when I dried up I was engorged for a day or two and it was more uncomfortable than painful and it stopped really quick. Good luck and I hope you don't have to stop but you are going to do what is best for your baby no matter what happens. Your baby needs to eat. Good luck.
2007-03-15 01:37:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋