My husband and I are fighting on a daily basis. I am 39 weeks pregnant and a bit moody, and he works a lot and is grumpy all the time, its getting really hard though coz its EVERY DAY. It can be about the stupidest things, like the way I cook dinner, or do the washing. I am not coping, how do we get past all this and get along?
2007-03-14 18:28:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
About the nagging him thing, I will start cooking dinner and he will get up me for putting too much butter in, washing too much powder, it goes on and on, and its not really practical for one of us to go away for the weekend this close to having the bub!
2007-03-14 18:37:30 · update #1
well you need to raise the white flag and say enough .sit down with him and explain your feelings instead of yelling and screaming them at him and ask him to do the same with you .when he feels you have gotten on his last nerve. i remember when i was pregnant i was like you any little thing hubby said or did would set me off on him ..lol we been married for 29 years and it was not all ways a bed of roses we have had and sometimes still do find some thorns in the bed with us . but the key to being married and being happy is open communication between the two of you . my hubby is my best friend i love him more today than the day i married him . i wish the same for you and your husband just talk to him don't yell at him. i know its hard being pregnant ,but keep in mind it stresses the baby when you are upset. good luck
2007-03-14 18:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What are the fights about? Little stuff? Big stuff? CONTROL stuff? Sometimes men feel out-of-control when their wives are pregnant and about to give birth. There is a chance that after the kid is born, things will lighten up a bit. If not, you have some hard work, besides raising the child of course, ahead of you.
How do you cope? Swallow hard and concentrate on yourself and your baby. What makes you happy? I find that if you take care of yourself, other things seem to fall into place. Everyday, do something that makes you feel good, happy, comfortable. You're only responsible for your well-being; you can't control, or change, his opinion of the world around him. He will see your happiness, and maybe it will calm him down. Maybe. It's a shot anyway.
My sister went through the same thing with her husband and their children (yes, each one). Things are better now, and they're still together because the basic love is strong with them. There's a real committment to each other. If there isn't this committment, you're headed for trouble.
Good luck. Remember, take care of you.
2007-03-15 01:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by tklines 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably a part of the matter of fighting, is you have 26 additional hormones going around in your body. As for his being tired and grumpy, that and you with your hormones is a bit much. Does he ever have time to go out bowling or something fun like that with the guys? No driving and drinking tho please. Could it be he has concerns about the budget? Or concerns about his job? Are the two of you, other than fighting, spending time together, just cuddling, etc.? Is he starting to feel neglected by you? Are you starting to feel neglected by him? Has he always been this way about your cooking, etc.? Please, try really hard both of you-to not fight. Maybe get some counseling? Maybe he is grumpy 'cause he knows that soon there will be the little one getting a lot of attention and time? The fighting-your baby is already feeling the tension between the two of you. Please, get some counseling, either thru a counselor, or a pastor, priest, rabbi, etc. The sooner the better. And, realize that when this baby is born, the little one will require your time and attention, he/she will need to set his/her own feeding schedule-every couple hours or so. You will need to sleep when the baby sleeps. However, for the sake of your marriage, and for the baby's benefit, do you have a friend or relative you trust to care for your baby for a couple of hours (at the most to start with-due to feeding schdule) that could watch your little one for you and your man to go out on a date once a week, or every couple of weeks? It doesn't have to be a big diiner out, etc., it can be a picnic, a walk on the beach, etc. Just time for the two of you. You really don't even need to wait till this little one is born either. You and your man could go out for a walk or a movie or something together even now. Maybe even just go out for a cup of coffee, etc., just to sit, relax, and talk. Communicaiton is vital for all relationships. And, listen to each other. Have you listened to your man's dreams for the future? Or he yours? For when this baby is grown up, and out on his/her own, you will need to know each other pretty well, and be there for each other, 'cause what will the two of you talk about when the child is grown, out on his/her own? I wish the two of you the best. And your little one. Take care.
2007-03-15 02:06:40 · answer #3 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are acting like this because you are a pregnant woman who tends to get moody. It all has to do with being pregnant.
You can control it by trying to relax a bit. Don't give your husband a hard time when he comes home from work. He wants to relax too. He needs to understand that you are going through some changes with your body and with hormones.
You both are just anxious about the baby! You both need to calm down a bit and just enjoy eachother. You can't be acting like this when the baby is here because you need to depend on eachother and the baby needs that attention from a mommy and daddy who not gong crazy!
So, start thinking about the arrival of your baby, get things ready, and stop fighting like two immature adults. Start acting like a mommy and daddy who love eachother. Because once the child grows up, he/she needs to see two people who love and care for eachother. He/she needs to learn by your example. That is the best thing you can do for your child is be those parents.
Congrats to your new arrival when he/she arrives!
2007-03-15 01:41:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you are about to pop. You're stressed out because you just want your baby to come out, I'm sure. I got really snappy with my husband towards the end of my pregnancy.
I totally get that it's a two-way street, but for now, just OWN your part of the situation, you know? Choose your battles. Try to take it down a notch and hopefully you'll both calm down after the baby arrives.
Keep an eye on yourself in the coming months. Postpartum depression is real and can manifest itself in many ways..depression, anxiety, panic attacks, etc. If things don't improve at home, seek help!!
2007-03-15 01:35:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
and as if you need it at 39 wks pregnant, not good for the baby. Is it because you nag him when he comes home to help you with stuff around the house or is it because you two really dont belong together at all. It sounds petty the arguments, so why not get counselling both you and let it all out.
2007-03-15 01:33:42 · answer #6 · answered by boonoora 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there anyway you two can take a break from each other? Can one of you go away for the weekend?? Sounds like you two need a break. If that doesn't work then I strongly recommend counseling especially with a baby coming. Best of luck to you sweetie!!
2007-03-15 01:32:17 · answer #7 · answered by mysweetluvie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are pregnant and pregmant women get grouchy very seasily. They are easily irritated by little things and I know what you mean. As a solution, if you can afford one, try to get a full time maid to help you. It will lighten your load and more time for you to rest. Try to ask your hubby what he thinks. If he is against it, then ask him to help you share the housework with you. Tell him you can't cope. Good luck.
2007-03-15 01:48:25 · answer #8 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both may be nervous about the baby.Just talk to him and tell him you don't want to argue anymore for the sake of baby.You need to concentrate on the birth and the baby.You have a very happy occasion to celebrate,just work on that.Ask him what's his excuse,you are the pregnant one.
2007-03-15 01:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by avavu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't have any idea about the sex life....but he could be frustrated and just does not know how to cope.........you are hormonal and will not be " normal " for at least another 6 months because of not carrying a baby, so i suggest you two sit down and talk like adults to find out why you two are at each others throat before its too late and one of you leave........and don't give me " we can't talk " that's bull. i know, i have been in your shoes...and ya need to get it straightened out now
2007-03-15 01:36:29 · answer #10 · answered by phishsports 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋