He is fine person. but he lacks sense especially makes me feel low in presence of others, he is not very realistic and planned worker and it hampers our real life. apart of him is still in dream land, he is cancerian and the worst part is he cant voice his opinion strongly when its needed and dependent on others, gets carried away by others' views, severely lacks decision -making power.
2007-03-14 18:28:10 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Im sorry i had to laugh when i read this...I swear my husband is the opposite and i have been trying to tell him to be a little more happy go lucky and not to sweat everything...How about i trade you...I'll give you half of my husband, you give me half of yours....deal????
2007-03-14 19:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old he is, but that doesn't matter. I take it he is a dreamer-would like to get to the point he may daydream about for himself. It sounds like you have a choice of three options:
1) Accept him as he is, and continue on the way it is.
2) Sit down and have a one with one talk about all of your concerns with him. Hopefully that will help.
3) Request he go to counseling with you on this matter.
It could be that he was raised not being good at decision making, and dependant because of it. He may be wanting to listen to others opinions and thoughts about certain topics, to help him try to make his decisions.
Has he ever been evaluated to see if he may have ADD/ADHD? Or some other problem? Is he the youngest in his family? Or what position? A good book to read has been out for several years, is called "The Birth Order Book" By Dr. Kevin Lehman. It gives basic generalizations of personalities based on position in a family while growing up. Your choice if you want to read it or not.
I wish you and your honey the best. Take care.
2007-03-14 18:46:33 · answer #2 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dear happy go lucky men are like that but getting carried away by someone elses opinion is not a typical character of them. But anyway if it is like that then why does he not get carried away by your decisions or opinion.... A point to ponder?
From your question it appears that you are a very principled and strong character but believes a lot in sun signs and other foolish stuff. Let me tell you dear you have been over-expecting without realising the potential of your husband.
May be either because of your childhood environment or your exposure to the world have been more than him, has made you better than him which can not be substantiated at an instance.
If that is the case please please please try and upgrade his exposures, skills, knowledge with love and patience. Make things more interesting for him so that he gets involved with you a lot more. Treat him like a child for a while and groom him upto your expectation to be your real MAN.
Cribbing and impatience will make things worse.
ALL THE BEST
2007-03-14 18:56:27 · answer #3 · answered by babatkd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have just described my cancer husband at about age 25 ....
I can tell you, that 13 years later he is not the same man. I think its a maturity thing. The traits you described are so exact to what I went through its uncanny! When he makes you feel "low in presence of others" Tell him in private how it makes you feel. It will stop. When he has his unrealistic dreams, be there to help him realize them with realistic goals. When you see him forsaking his own opinion to "fit it" tell him in private that you have confidence in his opinions and encourage him to stand up for what he believes. When he lacks decision making power, stand back and let him make a decision and fail, or succeed. He might surprise you. You are there to balance out these parts of him as I'm sure, he's there to balance out the negative parts of you. Let him teach you as you teach him and you'll eventually be so happy you cant stand it!
Best of luck..
By the way, I'm a virgo. Mine has taught me to not be so rigid, to let things go more.
2007-03-14 20:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You behave like a matured woman and never givea feeling and be at the approach as if luck is not favouring him. Let him feel that even your companion and hugging too comes to hm by proper deeds, apprroach to community and behaviour in gatherings like marriage functions and other social functions. If this way your behaviour always must remind and make him learn that mature behaviour of a man among the public respects the society and social movement with maturily alone gives happines forever.. Even such type of behavior, he is reverred by own children and their friends. Parental behaviour naturally reflects on children. That point you must bring to his notice by way of discussion in privacy. That means when in you are close touch and in good moods of deeds and what not for your haplpiness.
2007-03-16 01:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by sr50kandala 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to behave like a man. Tell him to take control of his life and the family. Share with him your thoughts about it. Perhaps if you tell him, he realise that he too plays an important role. Give him confidence that you will be there for him even if he falters. Tell him that you will also share in the problem solving process if needed. Give him time to change as he can't change overmight. Be patient but do talk to him.
2007-03-14 18:35:25 · answer #6 · answered by happy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u can't blame his Zodiac for that as i m also a cancerian.
may be he is quite young and with time he is expected to mature.
its time alone which makes u mature besides the situations which u encounter in ur life.
further, women mature faster than men.
2007-03-14 20:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by Kumar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The world appears your own reflection. Behave responsibly and you will find your husband doing the same.
2007-03-16 02:45:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is his character, you can't change other character. But if you want men to be happy go lucky than just buy him a beer.
2007-03-16 07:56:41 · answer #9 · answered by yogasun2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi,im jevish doing engg..wanna tell u a siple thing it as follows..... 1)make him feel that u love him ...never dicard his feeling let be wat he likes to be and wat he is used as his personality ......2)if u have childern then dont worry responsibliteis will change him,if not... just say some thing good, about a man u like the most and u think he's best...express u r feling for that man in a positive manner .... i think this will make him feel about himself and the man u like ,he may try to act according to u r words for the liking man of u r 's... bye .take care
2007-03-14 20:33:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋