My beautiful wife of 14 years left me for a guy at her work. We share our two kids every other week together. She has been with him for about 3 months and the other night after talking about our kids I asked her a question. I asked her if she ever thinks of me and she told me-"I do but I don't want to get your hopes up" what does this mean? I still love her probably because she was my first love.
2007-03-14 18:20:02 · 27 answers · asked by jack d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What happened to grass not being greener?
2007-03-14 18:45:15 · update #1
It means she is over you. Move on with your life. Get out there and meet people. The best thing you can do for yourself and your kids is to get a life. Your ex is just that, EX. The hurt will lessen as time goes by, and a new woman will expedite that.
2007-03-14 18:25:31 · answer #1 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My man, I'm SO SORRY! I feel for you bro! I know you are going through some sort of hell that you never imagined.
Obviously, I don't know the situation so I cannot speak in absolutes. Matter of fact, even if I did, no intelligent person would ever speak in absolutes whenever it comes to matters of the heart. However, this is what my experience tells me:
Unless she is suffering from some sort of series mental condition, including psychosis, she still has a great deal of love and care for you and she feels guilty for what she did. However, she is obviously selfish and cares more about herself than she does for you and the kids. Thus, in her selfish mindset, the comment, "I don't want to get your hopes up," comes from her guilt; not wanting to hurt you further; but, it also comes from her wanting you to be on the line whenever she finds out that the grass isn't greener on the other side.
Brother, any man that is honest, has a heart and a conscious will always love his first love and his wife, whether they are the same person or different people, no matter the heartbreaking situation.
The most important thing is that you know that it isn't your fault that she cheated on you. Once again, I don't know the situation and, in the end, the situation doesn't matter. There is no situation that makes cheating okay. Whatever you do, don't allow her or anyone else to make you believe that you were responsible for her cheating. If she was unhappy with you, she could have just left you on her own without another man to run to.
You and her may not have had the best relationship and some of that responsibility probably resides on your shoulders. However, whatever responsibility you share in the matter does not justify her running to another man. That is BS!
I wish you the best.
KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!
2007-03-14 18:44:34 · answer #2 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Assuming you are in your forthies. There is always this bragging when men are having fun together. Life begins at forty. .Struggling days are over.
Face the fact and the truth. When a women made a decision to get out of a relationship that is 90% a one way ticket. Women are very detail when comes to make a decision in a marriage. She did reconfirmed with you telling you fat hopes. No way. I am not pouring salt into your wounds. The faster you accept the break up the better chance of you to live longer, happier, healthier and realize that it is better to have no responsibilities for one that does not appreciate at all.
Take a hot shower, sweat it out. Call your friends plan a holiday meet some babes and that is when you realize it makes sense that life actually begins after forty. Close the door and burried yourself thinking about good old times with her will only affects your performance at work which you depends on your daily bread.
2007-03-14 19:17:16 · answer #3 · answered by loewe l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She means exactly what she says. She thinks about you but it's not going to go in farther then that. You need to get out there and start dating other people. You still call her "Your beautiful Wife." She's no longer your beautiful wife, you can tresure the memories that you have together and it's great that you both are gettig along like you are for the kids sake. But you have to move on. She left you for someone else, how did that make you feel? Use that anger to get over her and find someone else that won't open her legs to any guy that she works with. That is totally unprofessional.
2007-03-14 18:26:41 · answer #4 · answered by juniper 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it means that she wont be coming back to you anytime soon. it may happen a couple years down the road, but right now, shes moving on with her life as should you. it sucks to have your heart broken, and only time will put it back together. the most important thing are the kids. i know of a guy that was married for 6 or 7 years, got divorced for 2 years, and then got back together for the sake of the kids and about 17 years later, they are still together. so it could happen...... but dont get your hopes up. if it happens, it will happen. good luck.
2007-03-14 18:27:35 · answer #5 · answered by mcfly_lives 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It means that she does think of you in at least a kindly way but does not want you to draw any further conclusions.
Get on with your life. If she wants to come back you can decide then what your priorities are but simply waiting in case she changes her mind could give you a life of waiting with no positive outcome at the end.
2007-03-14 21:35:06 · answer #6 · answered by John B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you divorce now? or just being a part for a while? you better ask your wife what she really wants by leaving you. is there no more things are in common with you two anymore or is it just because she falls in love with this other man? are there no more ways to make you back together again by seeing marriage counsellor.
no one can guess what she's thinking other than herself... she's probably still between thoughts, like is it better back together again because your children (children are the worst victim in a divorce you know..) need both parents, or she wants you to stand back and not reaching for her anymore because she's comfortble with this new guy. i think you better talk to her heart to heart, you need to sacrifice more to know where this relation going..
2007-03-14 18:35:03 · answer #7 · answered by pinkshirt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because after 14 year with anyone there a good chance that
you will think of each others.but since she has move on dont
waste your time thinking about what it means. but since you
still think of her as your beautiful wife say a lot about you
you sound like a good man. and she the one that lost out.
2007-03-14 18:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It means that after 14 years of being with you, that you are bound to cross her mind once in a while. What she is saying is that she doesn't want you to think that, just because she thinks of you, that she wants to get back together with you.
2007-03-14 18:23:41 · answer #9 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
she meant that she will always love u. you have 2 kids together--of course she will always care about u. as to the part about don't get your hopes up---sorry dude but it ain't about to happen anytime soon. my husband says the best thing u can do to help u through this is go out and be with your friends. good luck to u
2007-03-14 18:42:18 · answer #10 · answered by a very happily married woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋