I'm in the middle of a divorce. We have 2 children under the age of 6.
My husband was arrested on DV charges -- mainly false imprisonment when he wouldn't let me leave during an arguement that got physical. However, he was the one who got injured (not me) when I hit him so that he would let me go.
I received an EPRO which was extended by a family court judge. My husband received visitation rights which allowed for "peaceful contact" between him and me.
Things seemed to be going very smoothly and becoming very civil between us, so when he violated the restraining order by text messaging me, I let it slide and eventually responded back to him. That led to some phone calls and us talking face-to-face when I dropped our kids off at his place.
I allowed him to come over the other night to see his kids and things went so well that I considered dropping the restraining order.
2007-03-14 18:18:41 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Then yesterday, while dropping off the kids, he freaked out on me in front of them. He bruised my arm badly when he ripped the diaper bag off of my arm and refused to let me leave.
Today, he basically harrassed me and my friend (who had come over) with text messages and phone messages.
I know I f'ed up by allowing him to break the RO and then responding. However, is there anyone who has any idea how badly I screwed up?
I live in California.
2007-03-14 18:21:34 · update #1
Thank you to everyone who answered -- you are all right.
However, this whole situation became a blessing in disguise because in his effort to apologize for what had happened he told my friend that he'd been smoking meth for almost a year.
So if the RO hadn't been violated, I would never have found out about the meth which is a MUCH, MUCH, MUCH bigger deal to me.
2007-03-15 07:23:49 · update #2
Report it to the cops. You didn't screw up that bad ... legally.
2007-03-14 19:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by danpauselius 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Probably not much - because you live in California. That being said - did you report the latest DV back to the Police? You had better do that. The RO is for your protection and is supposed to help keep the peace. You letting him break it - opens the door for him. I would strongly suggest you not let him get away with anything again. Give an inch they will take a mile.
2007-03-15 01:29:16 · answer #2 · answered by bigej65 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look, a leopard don't change their spots and if it didn't work once, it wont work again. The odds are 95% chance of failure. Don't turn your back because he can be nice for a while, then slip back into the person who made you afraid enough to get help.
Don't drop nothing and have someone else around when he is due to come buy. Don't get caught with your guard down. Too many people have in the past and most ended up in a cemetery. Think smart, be smart, have someone there as a witness.
2007-03-15 01:26:24 · answer #3 · answered by bigmikejones 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why do women us restraining orders at the drop of a hat. Look, he either abuses you or he doesn't.... The police and courts have really serious things to deal with...they don't need you and the deadbeat showing up everytime you let him beat the crap out of you.
Either leave him alone or get back with him and stop wasting taxpayers money.
2007-03-15 01:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
badly my deer. by leting him tex you and not reporting it and by going arround the court ordor you can not try and charge him let alone mention it because it will show that you are irrasonable and do not take the laws seriously. you will not be takin seriously when something really bad happends im not saying that something will but by the way it seems that is the direction you are heading strait for. i would segist that you do as you are ordored and only that from this point on even try geting a meditaor involed for you and your childrens safty. good luck my dear.
2007-03-15 01:36:52 · answer #5 · answered by alisha l 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Screwed up, yes, but the thing that's not yet set in stone is when you finally take back your power and kick him to the curb for good. Only allow visitation after he's had some counselling and do keep the restraining order. YOU'RE the one who's the softy here and he's probably "playing" you to see how far he can go. TAKE BACK YOUR POWER AND DECIDE HOW YOU WANT YOUR LIFE AND YOUR CHILDS TO BE.
2007-03-15 01:26:55 · answer #6 · answered by MJ D 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you can contact the judge and get the restraing order dropped however if you do this it will be very difficult to get another one and you may lead yourself into a situation where you may be harmed. I am not sure what state you are in and iu am very familar with DV situations and family court in the state of ga. feel free to contact me for more info.
2007-03-15 01:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by laizeedaze 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You let him violate the order by making contact, you are both in-contempt. The judge won't be happy. But you need to be safe.
2007-03-15 01:25:09 · answer #8 · answered by Pantherempress 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Observe the custody procedure strictly so that you will have no problem. If your husband violates the rules, report him immediately.
2007-03-15 01:26:09 · answer #9 · answered by FRAGINAL, JTM 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the DA and see what he says...
2007-03-15 01:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋