should i just go home and have my baby secretly or should i stay here and have an abortion? i would love a baby but need a father. is it fair to have a baby when you know that the father is a complete a.hole that has nothing to offer the child? when you dont even speak to each other. i would love to bring up together but is really over so dont know what to do.
2007-03-14 18:03:14 · 25 answers · asked by kerrie w 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
It sounds like your baby is better off without him in it's life. You need to do what is right for you.......not only for now, but in the future. Can you support a baby? Will you always be able to live with having an abortion?
Yes, a child is a lot of responsibility, but it is a wonderful job to have. If he has made the choice to walk away.....accept it and look towards a future without him. You will meet a man someday who will love you (and your child if that is what you choose) and stay by your side. I wish you so much luck and love in whatever you choose. Just make sure it is what YOU want.
2007-03-14 18:12:49 · answer #1 · answered by I♥my emily 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Abortion is totally out of the question. Murdering an innocent child for whatever reason (lack of father, not able to cope financially, emotionally etc) is still murder and would make you worse than your a.hole boyfriend. As you have taken an innocent life. I know this is not what you may want to hear but it is the truth.
If you do not want the child or have a situation that you will find it far too difficult to keep the child (family, religion, culture etc) then have it secretly as you said, and give it up for adoption. There are numerous people out there that would love to take care of a child and for whatever reason cannot have their own.
You said the father has nothing to offer the child so there is no point having such a male figure in the child's life anyway so it is a good thing he has left. That is probably a blessing in disguise so maybe thank God for that b ecause things can always have been worse. You will find someone else who will ove you and your child. There are decent male's out there and as someone mentioned there other male figures(uncles, grandfathers, cousins etc) that can play a part in the child's life and have a positive and loveable background and upbringing.
In the end the decision is yours but I would seriously advice against aborting. You will never forgive yourself and that will be a mistake that stays with you for life. The child's life s hould not depend on it's biological father. That's not how life works. You have been blessed (and yes a child is a blessing from God) regardless of the situation and this maybe one of your major tests in life. Although I am not ready to have children yet, I would happily take it or find someone who would be happy to have it after it is born, if that's what it takes for it to retain its life. Think about it long and hard and forget the a.hole boyfriend. You probably should have never got involved with him in the first place as he obviously does not love you.
I hope and pray that you will make the right decision that make you able to live with a clean and clear conscience. I also wish you lots of luck and true happiness in future. Take care.
2007-03-14 19:12:20 · answer #2 · answered by I want to help 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you need to go home, go home. I was a single mom for 3 years. It is really hard work, but worth it. You should really think long and hard about having an abortion. Once you have the abortion that decision will be with you the rest of your life. A father is not neccesary for a child. If the guy is a jerk then you don't need him or want him in your childs life. Sure a child needs a male figure to look up to but it doesn't have to be her father. My daughter had her grandfather, uncle, and all my male friends there for her.
2007-03-14 18:16:51 · answer #3 · answered by bleuberrie80 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go home to the people that love you. Dont abort the baby. The child is innocent . PLease trust that there will be people who care about you and your baby and will help you through the ordeal. You are not alone. Your situation is all too common these days, but people are more understanding than they were 30 years ago, so there is no need to have the baby secretly. Celebrate this new life with those who love you. You will be surprised to find out how many people care and you will be amazed to see how much you love you have for this baby.
2007-03-14 18:12:49 · answer #4 · answered by Edward H 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I know this is a very hard question to answer, because pro life or no life? I think it would be very hard for you to raise a child on your own. There is already lots of kids in the world with out parents and do you really want your child to have an up bring with out a father? It's really hard being a single mother... So, the choice is yours... I but i hope you pick a choice that you would not regret...
2007-03-14 18:13:17 · answer #5 · answered by Rain L 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have the have the father to have the child. You should have your child and love it no matter what. That child didn't ask to be born and I do not agree with abortion. If you really don't want it then give him up for adoption so that he may still have a good life. He would thank you for that one day. Or you can keep him and one day you will find a man who will love you and your child.
2007-03-14 18:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by my_own_frog 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Please, DON'T have an abortion. As someone else said, there are billions of families out there who would love to take up your child if you don't want it. Don't kill him, you are his mother.
Where do you live? If its some traditional country like India than you might have trouble raising the child as a single parent, in that case, put him up for adoption after having the baby secretly. If you live in some western country, raise him up as a single parent. The love you will get from him will make up for your trouble. If you live in Pakistan, my family will be happy to take up your child once it is born(in case you don't want him). We are not very rich but can take care of a child. Under no circumstances should you kill the baby. He deserves more than that.
2007-03-14 18:19:34 · answer #7 · answered by Taimoor 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
only you can answer that question honey... and you can't base it on what others think... if you really want to have the baby, then have it... just because he got you pregnant doesn't mean he has to be the father in the baby's life. any good man can fill that void in when the time comes. you won't be single forever. but like i said only you can answer this. don't worry about what others might think... I've been there.... i wish you the best of luck and hope you take some time to really think about what it is YOU want.
2007-03-14 18:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by tabby261 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just because your BF left you - please do not take the life of your child- we should not punish the baby for the sin of the father. If you are unable to raise a child alone- consider adoption. I am adopted and I have 2 adopted kids- our birth moms could not raise us without a father either- but chose life for us- I will be praying for your decision.
2007-03-15 04:45:15 · answer #9 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have love to give your child have it. If you don't, then don't. I agree that a child needs a male role model butthat doesn't have to be his biological father. That could be your dad, your future husband etc. Look at it this way no baby daddy drama if you do get lucky enough to meet the man of your dreams. Don't do anything you would regret. If you want to have your child and you can afford it emotionally and financially God will take care of the rest.
2007-03-14 18:19:55 · answer #10 · answered by N M 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋