does anyone else thinks this is ridiculous?

Question

ok im 17 years old and my dad is the most strict parent i have ever known. i'm barely allowed to go out i have to almost cry to go to the movies, and i have a 9 a clock curfew! i know 7th graders with later curfews than that. i am an honors student and even asking for permission to go to barnes & nobles is really stressful i'm just not allowed. how can i convince my dad that i can be trusted!?

really lady (laura) get ur head out of ur a** all im asking is if this is normal

linda sorry mistake called u laura

Answer 1

Honestly, yes I do think this is a bit extreme, but when you live in your parents house, unfortunately you have to follow their rules. Have you ever tried sitting him down and having a good heart to heart with him and asking him his reasoning in this strictness? To convince him you can be trusted, just try not sassing at all...very hard to do I know, keep your grades up, try not to argue when he says no...at least don't argue every time he says no, and just always stay out of trouble, no drinking, smoking etc. Maybe he has a bad past that he is trying to keep you from doing the same things?

Answer 2

Ok, first, I'm guessing your dad loves you a lot and is very concerned for your well-being, believe it or not. Having said that, he is way overboard if you are telling us the truth. My 15 year old, martial arts loving niece stays out later than that, unless she's gotten in trouble. If you are playing straight here, this is my suggestion. Try setting your curfew during the week 1/2 hour later. Prove that you can meet that as far as being safe and getting home on time, grades stay up, etc. Then go another 1/2 hour in a couple of weeks till, say 11, it is school time, after all, you need your rest. At the same time, do the same thing on the weekend till 12 or 1am at most. Make sure your parents know your friends and if they say not to hang out with them, for a good reason, sex, drugs, etc., then you don't. If all is well, then go as a pair or group to activities or places, like Barnes & Noble, movies, etc. You do need some supervision for your own safety and well being, but your dad needs to understand you are growing up and need to learn to handle these things properly, or you will be in trouble when you go to college, work, whatever, and it will be his fault. Again though, he's probably doing it out of love and concern, he just needs to help you learn what to do, not tie you down.

Answer 3

My parents were also just as strict. I am thankful now...but I hated it then. I even had a bed time of 9:30 till I was 18. My advice to you is suggest writing a letter to each other. My parents and I kinda sat down and wrote out things that we wanted more of from each other and we learned a lot and were able to compromise on some things. It was kind of like a contract. My parents of course wanted more help around the house and I asked for a little more freedom. I was eventually able to double date by your age. And I was allowed to stay out till 10 on weekends but I always had to leave a number where I could be reached at all times. My parents did check the numbers too. It is just one more year....I know it seems like forever...but hang in there....they are only doing this because they love you! You'll appreciate it someday when you have your own kids.

Answer 4

My young friend from what you have said ask your dad to think about when he was a 17 year old boy who if he had a strict father how it made him feel. Ask him to give you a chance to earn his trust and if he would let up on some of these rules and allow you to have some freedom. Even inmates in prison have less restrictions and are given some opportunity to roam about. I would approach him in a humble and honest way. But I caution you once your blow that trust by doing what you know is forbidden this chance may never come again until you move out on your own. God Bless.

Answer 5

Negotiation always was the best policy for me.

Don't cry. Don't whine. Start off by listing facts that show you are trustworthy and mature: good grades, never late, always call, does chores on time, etc. Then say that you want to further prove that he can trust you. This can be done in many ways. Maybe something as simple as asking for a later curfew on Friday nights if you promise to check in at a designated time and you do the dishes or walk the dog for a week.
Never base your argument on outside influences like "So-and-so's mom lets her stay out until 11!" Keep your argument based on you and how you've earned it. Its a stronger argument.
Let us know how it goes.

Answer 6

Have you asked your dad what it would take to convince him you can be trusted? Tell him you'd like to know his thoughts on the curfew, (not his reasons) to help you understand and to know how to meet his concerns so that you can begin going out.

How does he think you're going to handle the world, which you are about to be in on your own, if he won't let you get out there?

9 o'clock curfew is just fine, except maybe weekends. you know some 7th graders whose parents smoke crack with them, too, i'm sure. that's no measure of how your dad should act.

Answer 7

You can try talking to him about it, but he sounds like someone who isn't very open to suggestions. He is being strict because he wants to protect you. Actually, on a more psycological viewpoint, he is being strict because he thinks he won't be able to handle the situation (himself) if anything happens to you. Also, he probably believes that this is what a "good parent" does. From my experience, it's not even worth the hassle to try to change what your parents thinks being a "good parent" is. Think of it this way. How easy would it be for him to convince you that this is ok?

Personally, I would just bare with it until you graduate and leave home. Then you are an adult and can do whatever you want :-D. You're not alone either. I had the same stuff happen to me until I moved out.

Answer 8

Talk to him about a trial run. one or two days of if you ask him to go to the bookstore or reasonable places. Not to movie theaters or anything. Nice open light spaces. if you have a phone set up check up times. make sure there or reasonable like every one and half hours. Sounds bothersome but it gives a little lee way. You want him to be able to trust you so you have to do things you might not want to do for a while. then if that goes well. long time in between check in times. and maybe a movie with friends. You have to ease it to. Certain states require a age to where you are legally an adult i know that in Texas at 17 you are an adult so you might want to search on line for your state whats legal age.

Answer 9

It sounds as if your dad loves you alot. You should sit down and and disguss your issues with him. Be positive and let him know how you feel, that you would like to be trusted and would like a little more lee-way with curfews and to be able to go to the bookstore. When he does allow you the extra room, don't over step the boundaries, as you will lose his trust, trust must be built up and earned. Good luck!

Answer 10

Been there, done that! lol! Yeah, it's very tough to convince a parent to give you more privileges. The best advice I can give you is to keep following the rules, don't complain, and then, when you want to do something that they won't allow, prove to them how good you've been, how you have followed they're rules for as long as they have had them, and MAYBE it might just work. The only other advice is to beg and plead, but, hey, it never got me anywhere! lol! :) Good Luck! I hope everything gets better for you!