What can I do to help my sex life?

Question

I met my now husband when I was 13, he was 15. We were each other's first kiss and first love. We have now been together for almost 11 years, with 2 kids (8 y/o and a 3 y/o) and married at 18. We love each other but the fire has went out. We have tryed everything! We still enjoy sex with each other but need somethingt o spice it up abit. We've tryed buying lots of toys, differant positions, differant rooms and places, just about everything you can imagine.

Is there anything at all left for us to try? Is it possible to have seen so much of a person that everything is expected, no suprises, no thrills? Possible to just get old?

Any answers would help! Thank's!

Answer 1

Sex is a reflection of the relationship. If that is "hum-drum" so will the sex be. The fact is you have two energy suckers. That is the kids. If you could get someone to take them off your hands and go on a trip where you pay attention to each other, the sex should be good even without "toys".
One other idea is to try fantasizing. This requires complete trust in the other person. In fantasies, anything is ok. Forget what the puritans and bible thumpers might think. This is between the two of you.

Answer 2

You two have put too much effort into having sex and forgetting about making love. There is a difference. You need to look at romancing each other. The little things leading up to an intimate act. A lot of teasing and foreplay. The kiss on the neck, holding hands, touching and caressing, candle light dinners, dancing, and the other things that you probably haven't done for a long time. When romance in a marriage remains strong you can have intimacy that will feel like the first time, every time for your entire marriage.

Answer 3

This is a really sweet story. I'm very happy for you (meeting so young and falling in love like that). Look, marriage isn't a 24 hr orgasm. It takes work. It sounds like you both are stressing yourselves out trying to keep a high going. Relax, when kids are young like yours are, frequency is going to go down. Everybody is tired after chasing them all over the house. Be patient w/ yourselves. Share with each other your history you have made together. It's sounds like you have had some really good times. Kids are a blessing from heaven but they can be a real strain on the husband/wife relationship. Sex in marriage is exciting and wonderful but it's intimacy w/ each other that will carry you further. I would encourage you to talk and keep at it (sex), it will get better and better over time as you know your partner more and more.

Answer 4

Drop the kids off at a famiy members house or something the idea is get rid of the kids for the night.

Seduce each other, I suggest full body massage with oils and everything form head to toe. Rub his entire body and take your time.

Give him a strip tease/ lap dance. Get him in a chair and SLOWLY take your time grinding him and rubbing him and remember to take your clothes off slow. But here's the catch he's not allowed to touch you at all until you're ready. By the time you finish with the tease/lap dance he'll be ready to explode.

Role play. You be the naughty nurse or the damsile in distress and he be the patien or cop. Another good thing is plan a dinner where you get to the place before he does and pretend that you don't know each other. Then have him do the same thing during the date one of you suggest going back to my house and then you guys just go at it.

There are books on Tantric sex and Kama Sutra also.Ther are plenty of things to do but both of you need to continue to believe in each other's love and keep the fire burning. Good luck

Answer 5

Maybe take a break from it, then when you go back to having sex then it will be exciting again, I totally understand, my man is a 5-6 day a week man and after a while it just becomes routine, and it becomes boring, So I have told mine, no and we are working opposite shifts so he cant have it everytime he wants it.. Which is making it a little better, makes me finally want it, instead of it being implyed this is what we do everynight.. you know how they say LESS is MORE.. Trust me try it maybe it will work..

Answer 6

Sex has never been better than when it is with the one I love more than life itself. Perhaps all you need is some time to remember how much you have and do love one another. You can plan a weekend alone, or even better at a retreat for couples. It can be very enlightening to hear how other couples remembered that spark.
I envy you very much for having this opportunity. My love is gone from me.

Answer 7

Try waiting a week or so, then doing something you've never done before. If that doesn't work, try waiting longer, maybe two weeks, and once again, something new. If you end up having to wait too long before it rekindles itself, you have to face it that you might have had too much of him and can't bring that "fire" back.

Answer 8

if u have to role play, buy toys, wish they were someone else. its over.it has gotten old, and its time to move on.u have to be true soul mates to keep romance alive, ive been married for 30yrs, and look forward to seeing my wife naked any chance i get. but i guess showering everyday together everyday for 30yrs has helped a lot to.,,,mp

Answer 9

try thinking of lying on a beach somewhere or your first time with him while you are having sex or role playing. been there done that

Answer 10

Role play?

http://sexuality.about.com/od/sexualroleplay/ht/sexfantasyroles.htm

My husband and I are working on our first scenario.