Hi, I am 29 and my spouse is 30. Married for 8 yrs. In the 8 yrs, 4 yrs spent at my mum's place due to quarrels. 2 yrs he was in prison due to mischief and bad coy of friends and I stayed at his mum's house to be there for his family when he is not around. And now it is 1 and a half years that I am staying with him in our own place. We have no kids as I have some complications and he has yet to get tested. In this 1and 1/2 years we have been quarreling as well. But all quarrels end up with me pacifying and just mending it. But the main issue is that he loves his night outs and alcohol drinking with buddies. On the average its 3-4 nights out a week and I dont normally know where. But if I am out as well then he tends to ensure he knows my whereabouts. So only if I'm home then he switches his phone off and jus misses in action. Now he says he will remain like that, i dont know how to survive this relationship. Is there really life after a divorce? I feel bad even thinkin abt a divorce.
2007-03-14 16:38:26 · 9 answers · asked by Kathy K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask yourself, is this the life I want when I am 40? 45? Do you want to be home wondering where he is, who he is with, what he is doing? I will give you some news....people who love and respect you, treat you like they love and respect you. Being with someone because you don't want to be alone or lonely is a poor reason to be in a marriage or relationship.. There is life after divorce, after the death of a loved one, after many things...life is about what we make it. Please give a lot of thought to what you want from life and what you need to do to have a life you would enjoy.
2007-03-14 17:41:01 · answer #1 · answered by curious74432 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean 'is there life after divorce'? Seriously, life goes on, you're only 29 for god's sake. I know this has been going on most of your adult life, but don't you think you could be happier without all this drama? Prison, alcohol, arguing, turning off his phone---why o why would you want kids with this person?
I'm serious, I had decided to get out of a long relationship because he was a chump--and I know I could live with the decision to stay, but I couldn't live knowing I'd sentenced our future kids to a life with a prick dad. That was enough for me, and it was over.
Life is great now! It took a while, but I am soooo much happier, and it was worth getting over him.
29 is so young, you have a million chances to meet the right guy. Good luck!
2007-03-14 23:58:10 · answer #2 · answered by Violet777 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT!!! Trust me when i say that some people just don't change.. I am 23 with two toddlers and recently separated.. I also had the misfortune of not having income since i was a stay at home mom... but life is still soo much less stressful since the separation.... i am struggling financially but with support it won't be long before you see improvement in yourself... emotionally and mentally
2007-03-14 23:45:06 · answer #3 · answered by mom2camnchloe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel bad about thinking about a divorce if this is the choice that he is leaving you then take it. There are times when we have to make very hard decisions and know when it is time to give up . Something that we have to look at here is that he doesn't want to change and you can't help someone or change someone if they don't want to for themselves. You have to know when enough is enough! He sounds more insecure than in love and that can't be good. He has to love you if there isn't any women involved in his outing with his bodies but he has to know that he should be staying home with you more. He needs to be spending more time with you. My husband spends all him time with me...
2007-03-15 16:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by *Pretty In Pink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that you have an answer already but you are seeking our opinion to see if there is better solution to resolve this problem. I feel that there is no point for couples to be together when the mutual trust between them is lost. Try to talk to him how to resolve the problems. If he refuses to listen to what you are going to say, then I think it is better to let go.
Sometimes we are so used to someone who is willing to share our burden that we are worrying what will happened to us if this person is missing. But I always feel that even when this person leaves you, it is not end of the world. We can treat it as a new challenge and move on from there. maybe we will benefit from there. All the best to you
2007-03-15 02:13:53 · answer #5 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. This guy's goin' nowhere fast. I don't think I've ever advised anyone with these words before, but here goes...
He's hopeless. Cut your losses. There's a man out there that will treat you right, but you can't find him while you're still married. Be careful, this guy sounds like he might not like being dumped so much. Oh and I know, you probably love him, but love yourself more.
2007-03-15 00:19:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been divorced for 6 years now.
There definitely is a great life after a divorce, especially for you, since you are without kids.
2007-03-15 00:04:22 · answer #7 · answered by Daiquiri Dream 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can definitely have a better life after a divorce, as you are living in a hell now.
2007-03-14 23:51:56 · answer #8 · answered by Tan D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes there is life after divorce. ask yourself if you are truly happy living in such a one sided controlling relationship. since he has already told you that he has no intentions of changing the choice is yours. you have made it without him before. best of luck
2007-03-14 23:51:46 · answer #9 · answered by simplyme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋