Why do men want their wives to be virgins when they won't do the same for them?

Question

Please don't give me that "evolutionary" explanation because that only explains the feelings; it doesn't describe why they choose not to use self control and actually act on it.

Actually...I'm a woman who's staying a virgin until marriage for my own pride- in otherwards, it's for myself, not my future husband. I could care less whether other women decide to remain virgins or not because frankly men don't deserve it if they won't do the same for women.

Answer 1

Depends on what specific men you're talking about. It's very rare that a non-virgin specifically looks to marry a virgin, at least in the United States anyway. Most people want some level of comparable sexual experience in a lifetime partner.

Answer 2

some men still do, I was a virgin when I married and not by a mere technicality. I was wanting a virgin but married a man with "experience" however I used that knowledge to my benefit by asking what kind of relationships/one night stands was he involved in, mine was always a long term commitment man, never just jumped into bed with someone, the reason he did not stay a virgin is simply his "family" did not care they only wanted him not to get anyone pregnant.
I married a man that in our society today could call a throw away. If he had been raised by someone who cared things might have been very different.

Answer 3

I wish I remained a virgin until I married too, my wife is worth it!
The reason though... Have you ever watched some of this on line porn? Do you see the way the these people screw? Would you want your future husband to star in one of them, because I sure as hell wouldn't even consider marrying one of the girls from those vids. And, most guys that think that their wives should be virgins until marriage, have sexually treated a female in a way that the guy finds to be degrading. Knowing that they have done this them selves, means that others have done it to. And guys think that girls that have done these things are stupid for letting other guys use them like that. Basically, it's a premeditated jealousy issue, a guy knows he has to be the best, but thinks he should be the only one.

Answer 4

there may be a bit of an "economic" explanation to it as well. if you think of sex as a commodity exchange, most men have to generally expend a fair amount of energy to get it from a woman (at least more than a woman has to expend to get it from a man). thus the easier sex is to get from a woman (greater supply) the lower her *price*. extend that logic and a woman who sleeps around is cheap, while a virgin is valuable/expensive. for women, because the amount of energy it takes to get any man to sleep with you is so low (oversupply) their is no real price distinction between men. a male virgin has little value.
that plus thousands of years of socialization about women's "proper" place (subordinate and chaste means less likely to stray), ridiculous myths many men believe about the female sex drive (that it can be controlled where the male sex drive cannot--ha!), standard male sexual insecurity relative to other males, probably some madonna/whore complex issues likely reinforced by the media's depiction of women/porn industry/etc. and you have your basic male psyche. not that many men don't transcend this. but that takes work and unfortunately most men are way too lazy. plus it benefits them so why should they change?

Answer 5

I think because in the times of growing up, it was always a rule in the home that the girls keep their virginity, but for the boys, fathers and now even mothers celebrate when their son are having sex with girls and not being gay. So they stuck their chest out when their son's began to bed every girl around, but frowned on their daughters if they even thought they was involved in sexual activity. now as men they can't control themselves and they have to have as many women as possible, it's gotten so bad until they are now being bi- sexual. It was OK for men to have as many wives as they could afford. They choose not to use self control because men are visual creatures and we as women are emotional, able to rationalize things. Men see it , want it, regret it, go back to it because they see it in their mind's eye etc... This is why we love harder then men. Now they are some men that can think and feel, those are the ones that are in touch with their feminine side. My opinion.

Answer 6

I have to completely agree with that. I'm awfully glad somebody said it!

If men won't keep their virginity until marriage....why should we? It all just seems awfully unfair to women to me. There's nothing worse in this world than a man who has slept with every tramp in town giving a woman the boot just because she is no longer a virgin for him. That's one sided BS and needs to stop. I think these guys need to grow up and get a huge dose of their own meds...that's exactly what they need.

I have a 15 year old son who declares that he will remain a virgin until he gets married and just in case he slips, he will no longer expect his prospective, future bride to be a virgin if he isn't. I taught him that behavior cause I think the way men act nowadays really stinks to high heaven! I don't want any son of mine falling down to their level.

So....what I think we, as women, should do is...regardless of whether or not WE are virgins...we should cull marrying men who are NOT virgins! Turn the tables on them...he he he...that would really make them squirm:)

By the way, I have a wonderful hubby who doesn't care about my past...just cares about me now:) However, I HAVE butted heads with these idiots and DO know what I'm talking about. Those of you girls who aren't married yet...Good Luck....but if they aren't virgins, give 'em the boot...do it for your own freedom, Ladies:) WOMEN RULE...AND MEN DROOL!

I hope I've helped:)

Answer 7

Because men tend to be pigs.... And frankly I dont want a guy who has slept with every girl out there... I want a guy who has some sense of morals... but with the moral degeneration of the present its hard to find either a guy or a girl who is saving themselves. And I think those that save themselves have a higher level of maturity.

Answer 8

I don't think american men think that way but I am sure a lot of men from out of country think that way... My self and I am not american, would never get married or even get a g/f that is virgin .. Why, because I think and until now I am sure that someone that has not tried what sex is and things that come with it is not ready enough to live a married life

Answer 9

Only a man with a small penis will because they believe a virgin would have nothing to compare them too. I wish I stayed a virgin for marriage. I give you credit.

Answer 10

I believe it's so she doesn't have any other lovers to compare him to. That way she has no idea how good or bad he acutally is in bed. Men like that then proceed to find a mistress who fulfills their fantasies, a woman that they can be 'freaky' with. In the mean time, their wife is waiting for them at home, unaware and sexually frustrated, standing on that pedestal he put her on all alone.