My husband came out of a ten year relationship wit his 'first' he spent two years exploring sleeping with hundreds of women. No one thought he would settle down again,we met and fell instantly in love moved in together and got married in two years.We had a full on sex life, he is a voyeur and likes to watch me with other men we have acted on this lots of times.but now i am pregnant and dont want to sleep with another man,he pressures me and gets angry, I dont want to loose him,nothing seems to help we talk alot and he knows he needes to controll it but cant. he says he fell in love with me because i have a big heart and am sexually adventuris,the perfect woman in his eyes. I did find it fun but i just want my body to myself,my baby and to him for a while. I admit i have gotten VERY boring in our sex life now,but I find anyting i do encourages him to push the voyeur thing. He says he isn't sexually excited by me any more.he is 34 I am 27.says hed rather watch my porn then other porn.
2007-03-14 16:06:17 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He needs help for sexual addiction. He is not healthy, and you have EVERY right to control what and who happens to your body.
2007-03-14 16:21:17 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this and I'm not saying it to be mean, but you set yourself up for this honey. Right now your maternal instincts are kicking in (which is a really good thing), but your husband doesn't have those feelings. You gave him what he wanted and then you took it away. The result? He got angry. Which means that you are no more than a mere object to him sweetie. Your big heart makes you over-look that. because if this man truly loved you for you, the sex thing wouldn't be an issue right now. He'd be more concerned about your feelings and the well being of his baby. Married life isn't suppose to revolve around sex....that's suppose to be a bonus. Marriage revolves around the relationship of two people joining as one in a life long committment. Come hell or high water, you two are suppose to back each other up and support each other. No matter what endeavors you choose to take part in. Which means that although you are okay with the open marriage, he also needs to be considerate that there is a time and place for everything and while you are pregnant is NOT the time for his sexual urges.
Sit him down, talk with him...don't argue, just tell him how it hurts you. Maybe if you give reason behind it, he'll understand.
I wish you the best and congrats on the baby.
2007-03-14 16:37:31 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frisky b: This is really going to be a difficult thing for you to hear and I wish I could soften the blow but reality is reality. You are jumping into a huge vat of reality. The baby will put you on a different level than you were on before. It is soo hard to justify being wild and crazy when you have a little one around. THis is probably the beginning of the end for your marriage. threesomes, voyeurism, pretty much does not go with motherhood. I am thinking divorce. good luck -k-
2007-03-14 16:50:23 · answer #3 · answered by kbama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry that your sex life has gone down for the moment but it is for great reason. you are carrying a child. did you two not factor in the fact that if you were to become pregnant that there might be changes(sometimes for the good/sometimes for the bad). i think you owe it to the child that you are carrying to keep him safe. sleeping with different men to keep your husband happy is far from that. your husband needs to realize regardless of his sexual appetite that there is a right time and a wrong time for exploration. that time is not now. if he cant understand that and has the ordacity to make you feel like less than a woman for not fulfilling his expectations; then he needs to take a hike. just because your pregnant does not mean that sex has to be boring. tell him to get creative in a way that includes just the two of you so your not exposing your child to unsafe conditions.
2007-03-14 16:34:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to seek help for his addiction.That kind of sexual behaviour is fine before children and even after but not while you are pregnant.You guys need to work out HOW to control his addiction,so you can both enjoy your pregnancy.This isn't the time to put his needs and wants first.Ask him how he would feel if he knew his father had co-erced his mother into having sex with another man while she was pregnant with him.Maybe that will help.Good luck and congratulations!
2007-03-18 01:48:01 · answer #5 · answered by Jane Doe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a sex addict. He will never get out of this destructive cycle unless he gets help for it. Check to see if you can find an SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) meeting. It's imperative that you make your husband get help since you are pregnant. What he does can affect you and your baby for the rest of your life.
2007-03-14 16:24:53 · answer #6 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As in any relationship...especially when you know what your partner is like, don't ever think it will change when you want it too...your stuck with obsession...or walk away and find a more traditional way of life.
2007-03-14 16:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sorry to say this but he seems like a pig to me. anyone who wants to see their true love having sex with another is seriously twisted. exspecially if they get upset when you say you dont want to. your body is yours alone and noone can tell you what to do with it. if he doesnt understand that then you need to leave him. im sorry but that is my opinion. someone needs to love you not you sleeping with others. thats sick. tell him to seek professional help. but only if you think hes stable enough to take something like that. he sounds kinda off balance. the main thing is to keep you and your baby safe at all costs.
2007-03-14 16:25:14 · answer #8 · answered by the_syco_t 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you knew who he was and how he was when you married him. you shouldn't expect him to change now. on a side note i would be looking into divorce attorneys because if he can't get what he wants from you then he is definitely the type to try and find it elsewhere.
2007-03-14 16:27:02 · answer #9 · answered by simplyme 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
the way I see it you got your just deserves, you asked for it and you got it with all capitals. Just because she decides to wake up one morning with principals he should to. I can hear the laughter and believe me it's load.
2007-03-14 16:53:42 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋