So when my hubby and I had been together about a year he got a letter in the mail sayin he had another child. He said there was no way becasue at the time he was married to his previous wife and he never cheated on her. So...he called the girl and said dont contact me again...well 3 yrs later we have moved to another town and gotten married and had a child ourselves...we get pictures in the mail...then today...another 2 months out we get a birthday party invite....the kid looks like him....but he still denies him....and gets all upset and shakey when this happens....like hes hiding something...So whats up!!!!!?????
2007-03-14 15:26:13 · 27 answers · asked by Just Me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hmmmmmmmm..............................I would require a paternity test on the child!! You have a right to know!!!
2007-03-14 15:31:05 · answer #1 · answered by fwog_fwog 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, I wouldn't be too upset with him. I'm sure many men would be shaky to find out they may have a child. And, because a child looks like someone does not make it so. Children can look like just about anyone if you look real close.
He may be very embarrassed and ashamed of sleeping with this person and even may have used protection. However, the only real protection is abstinence.
Tell him that to put his matter behind the two of you to have a DNA test run. If the child is his, he can be a part of the child's life. If not, its over and you'll never see the mother or a party invite again.
Support him. He's very afraid. He needs you to "understand" and not judge him. It was before the two of you were married so its all a part of his past. Really, as hard as it might be - support him.
2007-03-14 15:38:26 · answer #2 · answered by Diana 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well the only way is to get praternity test done.....if he is absoutly sure that the child is not his.....he would not have a problem with it. Has this other woman asked for child support or anything?
It could be that this person is playing a cruel joke on him for some reason.....you know a woman scorned or something....jsut don't be suprised if he is the father.....he is probably scared....scared about how you will react to it...could have been one of those one night stands you know. If you love your husband then be supportive through this.....and he did say that the time period was when he was with is x.....so there is a positive.....at least he was not with you, if he is hiding something.......but if he is certain that it is not his....then he should ask the woman for a DNA test.....don't get rid of the letters.....you may need them at a later date in case this woman in a psyhco or something. Just let your husband know that you will understand if he is the father....but you need to find out or at least prove he is not the father.
2007-03-14 15:44:33 · answer #3 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband is clearly avoiding a situation that is quite troubling. It seems as if your husband has a problem with the truth. Clearly, he slept with this woman during his previous marriage. This is a huge red flag for your own marriage. Your husband has a history of infidelity, which doesn't bode well for your or your marriage. Unless he's willing to be honest about his past and his mistakes, you can't trust this man. If a man lies about his own flesh and blood, he can lie about anything. If he is so convinced that the child is not his, i would think he would prosecute this woman or inform the authorities of her reckless allegations. If he is not the father of this child and the woman made the story up, her allegations could amount to blackmail or slander. In that your husband looks and acts guilty, it appears that he is.
2007-03-14 16:44:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sweetie "DANA" (DNA) don't lie. She always be telling the truth. So you need to invite DANA into your house so that she can get to the bottom of that little secret. Another thing, it don't matter who that baby look like, you can't tell by looks alone. Remember that saying, everybody has a twin-- maybe it's his twins baby. LOL :) just kidding. I had a similar situation going on, but after DANA came into our house and the truth came out... he got put out. Another thing is he might not have cheated on his first wife, that could have been his last night free (bachelor party). If he declines then he's hiding something. Girl I'll keep you in my prayers on this. :)
2007-03-14 15:38:34 · answer #5 · answered by pebbles0_tmb 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well tell him you are tired of it and you want it to stop tell him you believe him and you think the only way for this to end is to get a paternity test and see what he does and how he acts then. But be serious about it because you never know why this woman would keep saying he has a child if he doesn't and tell her you want the test done and go from there and then you will know who is lying. Good Luck!
2007-03-14 15:37:49 · answer #6 · answered by worried about our country 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd be upset and shaky too if someone said I had a child and I didn't think I did; If I were him, I'd be demanding a paternity test. Then if he has a child, you have a stepchild, he didn't cheat on you so it's no big deal. You will love him like your own
2007-03-14 15:35:21 · answer #7 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love your husband than tell him that you want to help him, if the child is his than help him man up to the position, he is probably scared that you are going to leave him, and well it's not that child's fault to not have a father. My boyfriend's family is in that situation and his lil half brother loves his dad, mom, and stepmom. surprising enough everyone even the stepmom has accepted this child into the family, not being prejudice to him being for that other woman's.
2007-03-14 15:43:16 · answer #8 · answered by antz1230 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if he has regrets of having been with her. Still that is no reason for him not to stand up for what is right if a child came of that relationship. If it's true what you are thinking he should be a man about it and face the music.
2007-03-14 16:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't want the responsibility of a child.....so as long as he doesn't own up he can deny it
I would suggest he ask for a paternity test to settle it once and for all.
2007-03-14 15:32:42 · answer #10 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well since you seem to have a way of contacting this child's mother i would ask her for some specifics, IE dates , places. if she seems to have those answers then i would suggest a paternity test and find out once and for all. best of luck
2007-03-14 15:41:47 · answer #11 · answered by simplyme 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋