I have a 18 month old grandchild, my son and the mother of the child never were married, my son only found out he was the father when the baby was around 10 months old thru dna testing. It took another 4 months to get it worked out thru the court system where he could have weekend visitations. Since the child has been visiting our side of the family we have noticed that he is only satisfied with the person that picks him up from his mothers side of the family. In other words if I pick him up from his mother he only wants to have anything to do with me and cries when others try to take him, or if my son picks him up from his mother he will only want my son, and so on. Is there a explanation why he does not trust but one person at a time. I hope I have explained well, if any more information is needed for you to help let me know.
2007-03-14 14:11:53 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
he has visited approximately 25 to 30 times. I didn't think anything about it the first few times but now it begins to worry me.
2007-03-14 14:25:40 · update #1
Cassandra, we did have about 8 visits with mother present for 2-3 hours at a time on 8 separate occasions.
2007-03-14 14:27:58 · update #2
Part of this behavior is age related. 18 month'ers are notoriously clingy, and choosy. he will grow out of that.
part of it may be his way of maintaining his connection to his mom, and he will also grow out of that as he gains more confidence. You can try picking him up together, to help him associate the both of you to his mom.
2007-03-14 14:17:53 · answer #1 · answered by mliz55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure the situation is very strange to him. It's quite unnatural for a child to have to cope with this. Why don't you all just visit him at his mother's or in a park or mcdonald's playground or something?
Children are actually biologically programmed to want and need only one caregiver. Coping with too many is stressful and can damage a child's ability to bond and to develop secure attachments.
Your grandson may be so clever that he is doing his best to meet his needs for security in this crazy situation he's been thrust into.
2007-03-14 14:23:22 · answer #2 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure, maybe because his mother has "handed him off" to that person, so he feels comfortable with that person (if that makes sense). But it seems weird that it would change each time. How many times has he visited? My daughter is around that age and she's sort of fickle with people also, so I bet within a few months he'll come around.
2007-03-14 14:20:46 · answer #3 · answered by IDon'tWantToLiveOnTheMoon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Babies react differently than adults. Someone once said that they are little adults. but that is wrong. You have to remember that he is readjusting to you and your family. try to continue the support and love. Children feel love much more than adults. So you have to show him that you love him.
Give him sometime to adjust.
Its all about trust and respect. Yes he is a child but he still need to be respected.
2007-03-14 14:41:04 · answer #4 · answered by ME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋