How do you recover from miscarriage?

Question

I had a miscarriage last week at only 6 weeks. The thing is we were trying to get pregnant for so long and even were on fertility drugs to help it happen. I feel so cheated now, I only knew I was pregnant for a little over a week, but I feel like my baby has died and I can't believe after all we have been through this would happen! I have a loving supportive spouse and we have been getting through this together, but I can't help but be scared about being pregnant again, if it even happens. How do you emotionally recover from something like this?

Answer 1

First of all let me say how sorry I am for your loss. All you are feeling is totally normal and OK. Its so great that you have such a great spouse. That will really help you.
The good news is that you got pregnant, so your chances of being able to get pregnant again are good! You will be scared the next time you get pregnant and that's normal!! and OK!!
You will never forget this little baby you lost, but it will get easier as time goes on.
People will tell you to "get over it" "stop thinking about" but you can get past this at your own speed. It's OK to be sad as long as you need to be. The really important thing though is to go on with life and not let this consume you! And keep trying to have a baby!
Is there someone you can talk to, a counselor, a clergy person?
Here is a website that really helped me!
http://boards.babycenter.com/n/pfx/forum.aspx?webtag=bcus1379797&redirCnt=1

Good luck to you!

Answer 2

I just went through the exact same thing. My husband and I had been trying for 20 months. During the 19th month I took fertility meds. I took a month off and found out I was pregnant. During week 5 I had a miscarriage, so I only knew I was pregnant for just under a week. It was long enough for me to get excited and start telling my family. Lucky enough I hadn't started telling people at work yet so I didn't have to explain, but some people I know who have told their colleagues feel comfort that they have people to talk it over with. I was very sad for a few days but the way I started to see it (and I didn't have to convince myself of this, I just felt it) is I know I can get pregnant, so it gives me some hope. Before I had the miscarriage, I started looking at baby furniture, bedding, etc. and now that I'm not anymore, I'm continuing to look and choose and make those plans because I just know in my heart it's going to happen, and I feel even more positive that it will since all of this has happened.

I've also started to concentrate hard on projects at work and around the house to keep my mind off of it. They say it's often that when you stop trying and stressing out about it (which I still do but am trying not to) that's when it happens.

Good luck to you!!! Since you were only 6 weeks along you shouldn't have to wait too long to start trying again. Throw yourself into other projects, take a romantic vacation with your husband, spend lots of time with the people you love, and you will be pregnant before you know it.

Answer 3

The loss of a child hurts no matter what the age. My only child was a stillbirth at full term. This isn't something that you can heal in any given amount of time. Some people can "let go" sooner than others. You can mourn you child until the day you die, but it won't consume you forever. It's been almost a year for me, and I still have my bad days. But I can go to work and do normal day-to-day things without it choking me up now. Find a support group for yourself. www.missfoundation.org www.aftertheloss.com are two good online resources. I also attend monthly meetings sponsored by The Compassionate Friends, something else you may want to consider. you can also check with a nearby hospital for a support group.
Ater we lost Mark, my aunt sent us on the honeymoon we never had. We really needed that time together to just relax and remember that we love each other. you may want to consider doing this too.
I am so sorry for the loss of your little angel.

Answer 4

I'm not trying to be flip here.

Time. That's about it.

"Unspeakable Losses" is worth a read -- see
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/04/15feature.html (interview with book's author)

"I have a loving supportive spouse..."

That helps a lot. Lean on each other as much as you can -- but, then, don't feel you have to keep it a secret. Talking to other people helps; once you start to mention it, you'll find a shocking amount of people you know have had one. And they do tend to be people who went on to have a house full of healthy children, too.

I won't sugar-coat it and claim that the next pregnancy is easy, but. The odds that you won't miscarry a second time are excellent.

Answer 5

When we lost our son at 23 wks I thought I would lose my mind. We hadn't planned on getting pregnant, but were joyful that it happened and looked forward to the birth of our son.

I kept trying to get pregnant after that and every month brought new disappointment. I religiously went on pregnancy after miscarriage sites and message boards. Eventually I just said enough is enough and decided to stop trying altogether. I started taking the pill and lo and behold-I got pregnant two months after starting the birth control!

Once I stopped focusing on trying for the baby and started to live my life again God blessed a with a beautiful little girl.

My suggestion is for you to try to force yourself to do different things and live you life to the fullest. Give your body time to heal, spend quality time with your husband. Then when you are really ready try again. But even if you aren't blessed with a birth child, there are many children in this world that would be lucky to have two loving parents. They don't have to biologically be yours for you to love them unconditionally.

Answer 6

Your feelings are natural.....my mom had many miscarriages, one for twins and two other mis. It was upsetting, life goes on, and they are now little angels watching over us. I am very sry, yes it was still a baby so I see ur point. Wait like 3 months then try again, if u try too close u could have another miscarriage--which one one reason my mom had her 3rd 1 probably...so wait and goodluck!

Answer 7

You just do. I had 3 miscarriages and two children. When you talk to women you will find that almost everyone has atleast one miscarriage. Don't give up hope - keep thinking about the future and the child you will have.

Answer 8

don't be scared about becoming pregnant again.
you have a good spouse...so the two of you will get through this together....
you will emotionally recover..when you do become pregnant again and welcome a beautiful healthy baby into your lives....
you will be blessed with a child..and your child will be blessed with 2 parents who will nuture & love & guide it......good luck.

Answer 9

sweetie my heart goes out to you just hang in there and pray