This true story does not belong to me but to a friend of mine. Her husband has recently admitted to her that he cheated on her when he was deployed; but he promised he would never do it again because he loved her more than anything and the only reason he did what he did was because he messed up. And now he wants to come clean and ask for her forgiveness. He didn't want to let her know because he was afraid she wouldn't forgive him and he would never see her again. They are young and happily married but he is just now confessing to her. What should she do?
2007-03-14 13:50:38 · 10 answers · asked by Loving.You 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why the hell did he open his big mouth? Perhaps, he couldn't live with the guilt. He should have not told her and the guilt he carried would be his punishment. Big dummy.
However, now that he has told her, what should she do? She should respect his honesty and forgive him. I was recently at a wedding and in the vows there was a phrase - "Will you restore him/her if he/she falls".
She should forgive and forget. However, she should make it very clear that this is a once in a lifetime forgiveness. He screws up again or if she later confirms a different story, she should divorce him.
2007-03-14 14:03:58 · answer #1 · answered by ManOfTheHour 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well i can comment on being deployed, was in the royal navy and was away from my man for 12 months, never cheated. However, i do think that for the simple reason that he is confessing, is maybe a reason to give him another chance? She would never have known otherwise but he felt the need to tell her, why? Because he loves her as much as he says he does. Cheating on someone is never as clean cut as people think and it doesn't always mean that the person doesn't love you. I guess its a moment of weakness? no excuse but, we're human i guess. Its up to her at the end of the day.can she forgive and forget?? People weren't meant to forget, its not our make up.. hope she sorts it out though one way or another xx
2007-03-14 14:20:48 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I guess the husband was feeling guilty and wanted to get the monkey off his back and put the wife through changes. She has to decide how much she is willing to work with him in making the marriage work. Been there in a similar way when I found out my husband was having email relationships with two other women. We are still working this out to maintain our family and marriage. It is what she is willing to do, because it will take time to heal.
2007-03-14 14:01:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet P 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think any of us can possibly know what it's like to be deployed unless we've experienced it. I don't think circumstances are the same as if he was just on a holiday, he probably saw some terrible things, maybe even had to do some, and to make himself feel human again he needed another human. I think that because he's confessing he truly is sorry and does regret it. I think she should give him another chance and they should work together on rebuilding trust and strengthening their marriage.
2007-03-14 13:58:51 · answer #4 · answered by 1978girl 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
honest she should for give him,,,reason, for this,, have you every been deployed, ?when this happen you never know if you comeing home, you get very lonely,,,life get to thr point of haveing no meanning ,,,,, their a lot of our brother an sister of arm over their, an are very lonly,, .. honest you get to a point you dont care,,,,, he home now, an he was manenought to telll her,,,,what done is done,, an he now home safe, an a live,,,she should think ,of this,,, what if he was one of the 1000s that did not come home
2007-03-15 01:31:52 · answer #5 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he is truley sorry and asking for forgiveness i feel she should forgive him and try to move on with him and work on the marriage to try and get past this. They should seek marriage counseling as well and she should seek counseling for how hurt she is and for her feelings. I feel she should give him another chance as it only happened just the once.
2007-03-14 14:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
make a choice stick with it or leave but if you stick with it dont throw it back in your partners face whenever you get the chance
2007-03-14 14:05:24 · answer #7 · answered by sweety-pie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If its the first time its ever happened, she should give him one more chance.She can do whatever she wants tho, its her choice.
2007-03-14 14:00:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave his a**....sorry but true, once a cheater always a cheater, she can never trust him again
2007-03-14 13:59:01 · answer #9 · answered by *<dEzI>* 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
she should forgive him and forget it....
2007-03-14 15:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋